tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58355640389592490942024-03-14T10:53:50.654-07:00I am Mitch Mayne. I am an openly gay, active Latter-day Saint.Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.comBlogger91125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-80215003983864223972016-07-05T17:23:00.001-07:002016-07-05T17:24:55.477-07:00Why Mormons March in LGBT Pride <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyFSf1NcJpqWWNmRpdr7VfXf7rPyOjlNVMxgiR5r8IiquK7oMMJStkzc7VZpKEoEqjINYo-yd18uvg4FULWZw16JiRl7FHrsCRyYz0kHIa3oD80DHo2Q_ioVVax4lSU6wtwkiqpFjpkWk/s1600/M4E+SF+Pride+2016.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="254" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyFSf1NcJpqWWNmRpdr7VfXf7rPyOjlNVMxgiR5r8IiquK7oMMJStkzc7VZpKEoEqjINYo-yd18uvg4FULWZw16JiRl7FHrsCRyYz0kHIa3oD80DHo2Q_ioVVax4lSU6wtwkiqpFjpkWk/s320/M4E+SF+Pride+2016.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">June 26th was the fifth year we've marched in San Francisco LGBT Pride. It's one of the world's largest celebrations, with usually well over 500,000 people attending. Over the years, I've learned to spot the Mormons in the crowd. It's easy once you know what to look for. Yesterday right in the middle of Market Street a young woman caught my eye--she was looking at me, jumping up and down and yelli</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">ng, "Thank you!"<br /><br />I looked back and mouthed the words, "Are you Mormon?" already knowing the answer. And then over the screaming crowd and music I actually *heard* her. "YES!" she yelled back to me.<br /><br />I left my place at the start of the contingent and ran over, reached across the barricade and into the crowd. Her arms reached out for mine. We hugged, and I told her "You are loved, sister. By many Mormons and most certainly by your Savior." She started sobbing--her breath was actually heaving and she pushed out the words, "Thank you, thank you, I never thought I would see this, thank you and I love you, too!"<br /><br />I broke away and she held my hand and I looked into her eyes for just a split second. I don't know the details of her history with our faith and I may never know, but her eyes told me it was a painful one. And she clearly misses the love she once felt in this faith that used to be her home.<br /><br />All of that happened in under ten seconds. Yet it's a memory that for both of us, I am betting, will last forever.<br /><br />So, why do Mormons march in LGBT Pride? </span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">For the girl I hugged and who hugged me back.<br /><br />For the millions like her.<br /><br />For the healing it represents not only to those in the crowd--but to those who march.<br /><br />For the fact that we belong together.<br /><br />And because expressing unconditional love is never the wrong thing to do.</span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">To view more of our contingent check out this <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tiuDqHy9WA&feature=youtu.be" target="_blank">quick and well done video</a>. </span>Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-14378795080429723292016-06-14T12:40:00.000-07:002016-06-14T12:40:15.012-07:00Coming Out From Our Safe Places <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnabwNR6KypvQLDjZu6bulRRY-Vhpe9CDm3_Y1SfLXq2iLg7w2j14Bs3jOulJBZWTk4t8yBxUwZDnPZHrz7HRHczv_LFkRdaGHx6Bm4tSvTOwatBzqsbSz2rWTkPFpZZxoyWhnYTOY-1g/s1600/DO+and+Ross.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnabwNR6KypvQLDjZu6bulRRY-Vhpe9CDm3_Y1SfLXq2iLg7w2j14Bs3jOulJBZWTk4t8yBxUwZDnPZHrz7HRHczv_LFkRdaGHx6Bm4tSvTOwatBzqsbSz2rWTkPFpZZxoyWhnYTOY-1g/s320/DO+and+Ross.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Diane and her son, Ross</td></tr>
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Mama Dragon and active Latter-day Saint Diane Oviatt kindly agreed to share a talk she delivered in Sacrament Meeting recently. The focus: How loving her LGBT son for who he is (and seeing others do the same) has deepened her faith in Christ, and given her the ability to envision a Church where everyone fits--independent of any markers we place on others to make them different from us.<br />
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I've had the distinct pleasure of knowing Diane since 2008, when we worked together as part a stake-wide effort to repair relationships with the LGBT community after the damage we caused with our involvement in Prop 8.<br />
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I loved this woman the moment I met her. Time hasn't changed that--if anything, it's made it stronger. Her kindness, her compassion, her humility and humor--all combine to make her a remarkable human being, and I'm quite confident in my belief she is a blessing to everyone who has the good fortune to encounter her.<br />
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Enjoy.<br />
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Author Fiona Givens wrote: <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>“The body of Christ needs its full complement of members:</i></div>
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<i>-the devout,</i></div>
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<i>-the wayward, </i></div>
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<i>-the uncomfortable, </i></div>
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<i>-the struggling.” </i><o:p></o:p></div>
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I have been all of these at different points in my lifetime. But I am still here
because hands and hearts of my fellow Latter-day Saints have lifted me; because I feel the need to return the
favor; because here, within this church, I have come to know my Savior. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I know many who have not had the experience I have. They
have been shunned for doubting, for questioning, or for standing up for the
right of their LGBT loved ones to belong in a religious environment that
appears to have no place and no plan for them. I weep with them and have vowed
to be a voice for keeping Christ’s example at the forefront of how we practice
our theology. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I have always imagined myself a “live and let live” sort of
person—tolerant and accepting. But I did not realize how far I had to go until
my immediate family became the square peg that didn’t fit. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I grew up with an alcoholic, chain smoking mother. I would
sit in primary and inwardly cry at the thought that I did not have a celestial
family. The idea that we might not all be together after we died terrified me.
I grew up determined to create my own celestial family by marrying in the
temple and keeping God’s commandments, so that my children would never feel
that fear that I felt. <o:p></o:p></div>
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To be sure, I felt inadequate as a mother and keeper of the
religious flame that flickered off and on in our home over the years. But
nothing had prepared me for the despair I felt when our son Ross came out as
gay to our family nine years ago. The cavalcade of questions borne of fear
about what this meant for him and our family in the eternities took me to a
dark and lonely place emotionally. Yet, as the Persian poet Rumi said, “…the
wound is the place where the Light enters you.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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Fast forward nine years, and that light is still coming and
I am still learning what it means to love as Christ loves. I am being taught by
those who have been marginalized for not fitting into the plan. My life is
richer, more textured, more meaningful from these associations. Knowledge and
faith have replaced fear. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I am now converted to the idea that in order to be one in
Christ, we must do as Apostle Elder Renlund counseled. We must:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>“…see people through a
parent’s eyes, through Heavenly Father’s eyes. Only then can we comprehend the
true worth of a soul. Only then can we sense the Savior’s caring concern for
them. We cannot completely fulfill our covenant to mourn with those who mourn
and comfort those in need of comfort unless we see them through God’s eyes.” <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I received my Patriarchal blessing at age eighteen. There is
a beautiful passage in it about learning to embody Christ’s Beatitudes in word
and deed. I have loved the Sermon on the Mount my whole life. I never tire of
its simple yet profound message. I keep the Sermon uppermost in my mind as I
run a support group in our home through an organization for LGBT Mormons called
<a href="http://affirmation.org/" target="_blank">Affirmation</a>.</div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Diane with Carol Lynn Pearson</td></tr>
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My husband Tom and I spend time affirming these mostly
twenty something gay young men, many of whom have felt degrees of rejection
from family members or church leaders.I mourn with them, I comfort them. I see them through a
parent’s eyes—not hard for me as the mother of a gay son. I say to them, when
they worry about their connection to their faith, what Carol Lynn Pearson said
to me when I sobbed out my anguish over my son nine years ago. She said, “Tell
Ross that I have a testimony of HIM!”</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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My patriarchal blessing also has a passage about my home
being a refuge for God’s children who do not feel welcome elsewhere. A passage
I did not understand until I was asked to do this work that is now so sacred
and holy to me. My dear friend from Arizona, <a href="http://mitchmayne.blogspot.com/2012/06/coming-out-as-lds-parent-of-gay-child.html" target="_blank">Bryce Cook</a>,
faithful Latter-day Saint and father of two gay sons, echoes my feelings about
this perfectly: <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>“I have experienced a
joyful awakening and enriching of the soul and have seen it happen to many
others who have become involved in getting to know and serving our LGBT
brothers and sisters. It is truly an awakening because you see with new eyes
and are given a new heart. What many thought they once knew- the firm
convictions, the doctrinal justifications, the prejudices- all seem to fade in
to irrelevance once they see someone as Christ sees them. This kind of
conversion experience will both enlarge your spirit and refine your faith like
nothing else I know.” <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I have mentioned how much fear ruled my head and heart when
my son came out and I saw my dreams for him evaporate and felt his utter
despair at the thought that he would never marry in the temple and have a
family unless he lived a lie. Fear is what causes us to judge what we don’t
understand. We fear difference, we fear doubt. We value certainty. </div>
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Brian
Whitney, LDS scholar said: <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>“For me, when I see
the example of the Savior, I see Him spending His time with those who want to
be healed and desperately want to feel his mercy, not those who were so certain
of their own righteousness.” <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Fear impedes faith, and it impedes love. It keeps us from
opening our hearts to change and learning from others. It is borne of
insecurity. It is behind the divisive rhetoric we are hearing in this election
season. It is what creates emotional distance. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Does fear make us like the priest and the Levite who pass on
the far side of the road from the wounded so as to insure our own purity? My
friend <a href="http://mitchmayne.blogspot.com/2012/08/a-parents-letter-to-their-family-our.html" target="_blank">Tom Montgomery</a> posed this question after his gay teen son was shunned by
ward members who refused to take the sacrament from him on Sundays. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I have learned to be vulnerable on this journey, to admit
that my notions are not always correct; that different kinds of people with
different views enrich my life; that there is more than one way to be a Mormon,
a follower of Christ; that Christ-like action can come from unlikely places. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Christians can be un-Christ-like. Conversely Muslims, like
my favorite family at work, can literally embody the beatitudes in word and
deed, even though they do not believe in Christ the way we do. <o:p></o:p></div>
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A friend wrote in real time, recently, of an experience in
his ward back east that touched me deeply. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>“In Sunday school, a
substitute teacher is talking about how his son, now on parole after six years
in jail for selling cocaine, is making a life outside of the church. He is
speaking about how people make beautiful lives amidst great diversity. He is
speaking from a place of vulnerability, going way off the script, and bringing
out the real gospel of Christ. Now others are sharing more personal
experiences. The people who are sharing don’t typically talk during the
meetings. It’s beautiful. The teacher just now related how the prisoners miss
his son. Apparently this now non-member son was instrumental in reaching out
and helping his fellow prisoners. The teacher brings it back to how Mosiah
spoke of how these groups that support one another were called “the churches of
God”. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Are we brave enough to go off script? The script of our tidy
little lives in order to break through that emotional distance borne of fear
and ignorance, in order to reach the one? To create the “churches of God” in
diverse places? <o:p></o:p></div>
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I love what sister Neill Marriott has to say on this: <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>“With the help of the
Holy Ghost, we can create an emotionally healing place for the discriminated
against, the rejected, the stranger. In these tender yet powerful ways, we
build the kingdom of God. All of us need a spiritual and physical place of
belonging. We can create this. It is even a holy place.” <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Elder Kearon, in a talk about ministering to refugees, spoke
this beautiful passage: <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>“We [Latter-day
Saints] have found refuge. Let us come out from our safe places and share with
them, from our abundance, hope for a brighter future, faith in god and in our
fellowman, and love that sees beyond cultural and ideological differences to
the glorious truth that we are all children of our Heavenly Father. “For God
has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and love.” <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I would posit that there are refugees of a different kind in
our midst here within Mormonism. Those of us who fit nicely in to the plan must
come from the safety and certainty of our abundance to literally “touch the
cross” as Fiona Givens says, of those who are hurting, because they don’t see a
place of welcome here. These spiritual refugees need a healing place, a place
of belonging. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In his marvelous book “Planted,” Mormon studies professor
Patrick Mason gets right to the point: <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>“In order to fulfill
its mission to invite all to come to Christ, our meetings must be a place where
all people feel welcome: smokers and nonsmokers, women and men, the elderly and
babes in arms. Native Americans and Arabs and everyone else. Welfare recipients
and billionaires, single and married, divorced and widowed, childless and child
blessed, soldiers and peace activists, believers and doubters, straight and gay.
Every weekers and once a yearers, feminists and non- feminists, intellectuals
and the illiterate, groomed and unkempt. Those in suits or jeans and those in
dresses or pants. Conservatives and liberals, publicans and Pharisees. This
inclusiveness is not by way of contemporary political correctness. It is by way
of commandment.” <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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My four year olds in Primary get this. Every week we talk
about how Jesus loves everyone, and how great it is that we are all different,
and they enthusiastically embrace this concept. This is why Primary feels like
a sanctuary to me. Kindness can never be over emphasized; it is the light that
enters our wounds. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This poignant poem by Naomi Shihab Nye speaks to my soul: <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Before you know what
kindness really is, you must lose things. Feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in weakened broth. What you held in your hand, what you counted and
carefully saved, all this must go so you know how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop, the passengers eating maize and chicken will
stare out the window forever. Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho lies dead by the side of the
road. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>You must see how this
could be you, how he too was someone who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive. Before you know kindness as the
deepest thing inside, you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>You must wake up with
sorrow. You must speak to it till your voice catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth. Then it is only kindness that makes sense
anymore. Only kindness that ties your shoes and sends you out into the day to
mail letters and purchase bread, only kindness that raises its head from the
crowd of the world to say, “It is I you have been looking for”, and then goes
with you everywhere like a shadow or a friend. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
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My husband Tom and I are still here sitting in these pews in part,
because of two humble leaders who let love and kindness rule their response to
our child’s anguish and subsequent departure from a church that did not want
him as his authentic self. <o:p></o:p></div>
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My friends with gay children in other parts of the country
have not always been so lucky. There have been judgement and condemnation. Most
of their children have left the church. Some have left their life here on earth
as well when the pain became too much. <o:p></o:p></div>
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What we do and say to others matters tremendously—more than doctrine,
more than policy. Lives are at stake. As stated in first Corinthians chapter
12, we cannot cut off parts of the body of Christ if we are to be one in
Christ. My former Bishop knew this. My Stake President did, too. They reached
out and gathered us up as a shepherd gathers his flock. They answered this
question Patrick Mason poses in “Planted”: <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>“In our ward families,
can we, in our pale imitation of Christ, develop deep empathy for those
struggling with doubt, disbelief, feelings of betrayal, or suffering from God’s
silence? Can the church be a place for people who cannot now, always or ever
say I know?” <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Our family’s experience says yes, it can. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I will close with the simple declaration by Rumi: </div>
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<i>“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and
right-doing is a field. I’ll meet you there.”</i> <o:p></o:p></div>
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It is my fervent prayer that that field can be right here,
right now.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
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<br /></div>
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In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. <o:p></o:p></div>
Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-82585868271846761402016-04-11T19:28:00.000-07:002016-04-11T19:28:54.947-07:00On His Blindness (LGBT Edition)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNoEVtaC_4aS12O9CQu6HNhrkDxUYd6DKiRSYpf-qygJ6bS4KMemtcQZdp5-XaQUn-Rr5lc4CKA9l0TPwz_ohArH_0jBt2pTVUIa3CyK8cq48Pj6njwHioyN_a5yZ9roZvIGPA4Ugksbw/s1600/profile+pic+nov+2015.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNoEVtaC_4aS12O9CQu6HNhrkDxUYd6DKiRSYpf-qygJ6bS4KMemtcQZdp5-XaQUn-Rr5lc4CKA9l0TPwz_ohArH_0jBt2pTVUIa3CyK8cq48Pj6njwHioyN_a5yZ9roZvIGPA4Ugksbw/s320/profile+pic+nov+2015.jpeg" width="228" /></a></div>
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In March of 2016, Bishop Don Fletcher (the former bishop of the
Bay Ward here in San Francisco, and the bishop who called me to serve as his executive
secretary) delivered a talk at a Fireside here in the Bay Area.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
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The Fireside is part of an ongoing initiative by a group called
<a href="http://www.ldshearth.org/" target="_blank">The Hearth</a>, which sponsors and hosts events that build and strengthen an
LGBT-inclusive LDS community. I’m blessed to be part of a community of fellow Latter-day Saints involved in The Hearth, and blessed to know someone
like Bishop Fletcher. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Over the course of the past several years as I’ve worked deeply in
the Mormon community on the LGBT topic, I’ve had the chance to meet what I
think might be the absolute best humans to walk the planet. In fact, I secretly
suspect they might actually be angels in disguise—the depth of kindness, the
compassion, and the willingness to do what is right despite the consequences
are among just a few of the qualities these folks possess. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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</div>
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Bishop Don Fletcher is among the best of them. I hope you enjoy his words from the Fireside as
much as I did. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
___________________________________________________________________<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<b>On His Blindness</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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by John Milton<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #252525; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When I consider how my light is
spent<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #252525; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Ere half my days in this dark
world and wide,<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #252525; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And that one talent which is
death to hide<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #252525; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Lodg'd with me useless, though
my soul more bent<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #252525; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">To serve therewith my Maker, and
present<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #252525; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My true account, lest he
returning chide;<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #252525; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"Doth God exact day-labour,
light denied?"<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #252525; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I fondly ask. But Patience to
prevent<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #252525; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">That murmur, soon replies:
"God doth not need<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #252525; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Either man's work or his own
gifts; who best<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #252525; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Bear his mild yoke, they serve
him best. His state<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #252525; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Is kingly. Thousands at his
bidding speed<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #252525; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And post o'er land and ocean
without rest:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #252525; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">They also serve who only stand
and wait.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-G7xxNvAzuAyN31iTXDTxAHYeolBSVoArNKknVKgI3L6eWsnoyczWTCCB2dfHJnS9eA5OLdQB7Q2cNZXOMAtZBHvVzLJCIZDljW2yX1RJlh1WmRuAdjlToGiKfZjXJbM1XUesK_nMHx0/s1600/don+and+terri.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-G7xxNvAzuAyN31iTXDTxAHYeolBSVoArNKknVKgI3L6eWsnoyczWTCCB2dfHJnS9eA5OLdQB7Q2cNZXOMAtZBHvVzLJCIZDljW2yX1RJlh1WmRuAdjlToGiKfZjXJbM1XUesK_nMHx0/s320/don+and+terri.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bishop Don Fletcher and his wonderful wife Terri.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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In seventh grade, my English teacher gave our class the assignment
to memorize John’s Milton’s sonnet “On His Blindness”. Amazingly I still remember it verbatim, now
some 48 years later. Though I still have
it memorized, I am certain that I don’t fully understand it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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If I recall the situation correctly, in about the year 1650, Milton
had lost his sight and wrote this poem about aspects of patience with his
visual impairment which profoundly impacted his talent of writing. Interestingly, in seventh grade, I did not
have any idea that I would not only become an ophthalmologist, but that I would
also specialize in rehabilitation of the blind and visually impaired. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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At this point in my professional career, I have personally cared
for over 25,000 visually impaired patients.
My comments today are going to merge my professional path with my
spiritual path, and touch on blindness issues as they relate to the LGBT
community.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I’ll start by admitting that I was actually “blind” myself, until
I was over the age of 50, when my brother came out to me as gay. While my
physical vision was perfectly fine, I was spiritually blind to and ignorant of the
issues and challenges LGBT individuals face. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Like the healed blind man in John 9:25, I can now say that through
gifts of the Savior – “one thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see.”
I owe a great debt of gratitude to my
brother Bob and my good friend Mitch Mayne and the Lord for opening my eyes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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A few years ago, my brother contacted me and asked to meet. Bob
and I had always been close, so it didn’t really come as a surprise when he made
the request. But something unusual happened to me before that meeting. While I
don’t want to pretend to be in the same class as Joseph of Egypt, I had a dream
in which I had a vision that Bob was gay. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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By the time the meeting took place, I was pretty certain what the
topic was going to be—and I was correct. While the dream was helpful in terms
of giving me revelation, it did something else that might even be more
important. By sharing the vision with Bob, he said, it made the whole coming
out process easier for him. Coming out is never easy—and it’s certainly not
easy when you’re a married man with a history of 50 years of living in the
closet. But that dream gave Bob an extra boost of courage that enabled him to
finally be his authentic self with me, and eventually with the rest of our
family. The revelation made it clear to Bob—and to me—that there was indeed a
grander hand behind all of this. That hand opened the doorway, and Bob—an authentic
Bob—stepped through to the other side. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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While I am glad that I could be there for my brother, I am also profoundly
grateful for what that dream did for me.
The Lord provided that dream for me as a tender mercy, to smooth the
process for receiving the loving gifts of insight that my brother would open to
my understanding.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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My brother Bob and Mitch Mayne have shared many great insights with
me over the years – Bob as a family member and Mitch as my executive secretary
when I was bishop of the San Francisco Bay ward. I estimate that the wonderful Bay ward may
have a larger gay membership than any other ward on the planet. While laboring in San Francisco, I would
occasionally become impatient with straight “gay unfriendly” people. I had to be gently reminded to give them a
break, that there was often little malice behind their opinions, but instead
blindness—not unlike my own. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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We find ourselves now at another extremely difficult period of
time for LGBT members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Much of the great work we did with
reactivation of LGBT members in the Bay ward would now be much more
difficult. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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But, the lens through which I would examine today’s circumstances
is perfectly expressed by Sonny in the wonderful movie, <i>The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel</i>: “Everything will be all right in
the end. And if it’s not all right, then it’s not the end.” With all my heart, I believe that applies to
our situation in the church today—it is not the end. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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When we began our outreach in the San Francisco Bay Ward, one of
the mantras we adopted was a quote by Elder Jeffrey Holland, and one that is
still true today: <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span><i>“…
some members exclude from their circle of fellowship those who are different.
When our actions or words discourage someone from taking full advantage of
Church membership, we fail them—and the Lord.”</i> (October
2007) <span style="color: #444444;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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Since I’m not as eloquent
as Elder Holland, I paraphrased his words to come up with a common mantra of my
own—and one that guided the work we did with the ward. That mantra was, “I
don’t care whether you are straight or gay, or whether you have stripes or
spots—you are welcome in our ward.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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With Mitch’s
help, I composed a quarterly hard-copy letter to every member on the ward records(including
those who were less active) and personally signed each and every one. In that
first letter, one of the things I wrote was this:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“In my tenure as a bishop and in the stake presidency, I’ve noted
many reasons members hold back from their faith. Some of them include:<o:p></o:p></div>
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</div>
<ul>
<li>Those who were offended by a crusty member or insensitive remarks</li>
<li>Those who are uncomfortable paying tithing, for whatever reason</li>
<li>Those who are gay or lesbian and struggle to understand how they
fit within the faith</li>
<li>Those who grapple with the Word of Wisdom or other compulsions</li>
</ul>
<o:p></o:p><br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
None of those reasons - or any other - should keep you away from
the faith you once called ‘home.’ Please
come back. We have a wonderful ward full
of diversity – you are welcome too. You
will be valued here and welcomed as part of our ward family. We meet in the chapel at Pacific and Gough at
9:00 a.m. on Sundays.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I had the
opportunity to personally meet with dozens of LGBT members (and straight
members) who had become inactive for a variety of reasons. Many of them told me
that upon opening the letter, they were skeptical—yet they kept it, and it laid
on their desk or counter for several months. They would pick it up, reread it,
ponder it—and often summoned the courage to give me or Mitch a call. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Several times I
was asked, “Is this for real? Do you
really mean what you wrote? Am I really welcome at church?” I was always enthusiastic when I responded in
the affirmative—but inside, I quietly found it most distressing that so many
LGBT members expressed surprise to learn that they were welcome to participate
in the ward.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
One memorable
story involved a returned missionary who had not attended church in many, many
years. His was a frequently heard
scenario. He assumed that serving a
mission as a 19-year-old would “cure” him of his gayness. It
didn’t. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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So, San Francisco
became home and he found and committed to a wonderful partner with whom he <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeNBHqT6AwqDNsfThuCCXH-d0zQH4F-m-XAwZvpKc8_33Lkd5XmN62_Ec-IK0PJtSiPC9rq-EC3Ftjz1RxLUzo_wQXychgnHy6-oanTViTW-FFL1X4G0QhiSIxnyqtC4NaVdapKG8Ato4/s1600/blind_see.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeNBHqT6AwqDNsfThuCCXH-d0zQH4F-m-XAwZvpKc8_33Lkd5XmN62_Ec-IK0PJtSiPC9rq-EC3Ftjz1RxLUzo_wQXychgnHy6-oanTViTW-FFL1X4G0QhiSIxnyqtC4NaVdapKG8Ato4/s320/blind_see.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
had shared
a close relationship for over 20 years.
As he started to attend our church meetings he felt something very warm,
wonderful and familiar return to his life.
His non-member partner noticed that he was significantly happier and
more satisfied with life, as well. <br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Liking what he
saw in his partner, the non-member of the couple inquired if it would be okay
if he attended also. I enthusiastically agreed,
and he was a great addition to our weekly meetings. He ended up taking the
discussions, reading the Book of Mormon and gaining a testimony that it was
true. We really should not be surprised
– the Book of Mormon is true. This couple moved across the bay, and they now
attend another ward that welcomes and supports them. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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One of the things
I like best about holding the priesthood is the opportunity to use it a service
to others through giving them blessings. As a bishop, I was very generous in my
use of priesthood blessings. I always offered to give a blessing to all gay
members (and non-members). <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I laid my hands
on the heads of many wonderful men and women, and the situations were all
remarkably consistent. My first impression, without exception, was
that I needed to tell this individual of the Lord’s love for them, right now,
exactly as they were. Every one of us
needs to know that, but especially those who are LGBT often feel
unlovable. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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As a doctor, I have
seen blindness, ill health, and death. I
have done volunteer work in Asia and in Africa and in many impoverished areas
where I have seen much suffering. But perhaps
the greatest human tragedy, with as great suffering as any I have seen, is in
those who don’t feel they are capable of being loved by the Savior just as they
are.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Many LGBT ward
members and many disconnected straight ally members returned to active
participation while we ministered in San Francisco. I now live in Wichita but Mitch and I
continue to have much passion for ministering to those who don’t feel the love
of the Lord in their lives. And while the formal ministry of our work in the
Bay Ward might, for now, be on hold, each of us continues to feel the call of
our Savior to do the work necessary to help our fellows see His hand in their
lives, and feel His love. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSV2yvsMZm7hcAV7UiQU0FCm2OgSLKY05P5LOt_Vfar7veMxvfKqIQtYlzZpDtToiscJgNfTBNX6BlmeqdJUIAaPcjBxzf5mxaMcwcywCaure5ZXLHGI5LRMP_8nXw0aOaPx1gShR8Xd4/s1600/CLP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSV2yvsMZm7hcAV7UiQU0FCm2OgSLKY05P5LOt_Vfar7veMxvfKqIQtYlzZpDtToiscJgNfTBNX6BlmeqdJUIAaPcjBxzf5mxaMcwcywCaure5ZXLHGI5LRMP_8nXw0aOaPx1gShR8Xd4/s200/CLP.jpg" width="142" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Carol Lynn Peason</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
One of the people
who I most respect on this planet is Carol Lynn Pearson. She was asked to write a song for the
children’s hymnbook dealing with disabilities.
She has told me that, although a child in a wheelchair is pictured in
the primary song book, she has always seen this as applicable to our members
who are LGBT, as well.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>If you
don’t walk as most people do,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>Some
people walk away from you,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>But I
won’t! I won’t!<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>If you
don’t talk as most people do,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>Some
people talk and laugh at you,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>But I
won’t! I won’t!<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>I’ll walk
with you. I’ll talk with you.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>That’s how
I’ll show my love for you.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>Jesus
walked away from none.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>He gave
his love to ev’ryone.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>So I will!
I will!<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>Jesus
blessed all he could see,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>Then
turned and said, “Come, follow me.”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>And I
will! I will!<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>I will! I
will!<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>I’ll walk
with you. I’ll talk with you.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>That’s how
I’ll show my love for you. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>(Children’s
Songbook #140)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
That song proposes an easy doctrine for this group of people I am
addressing tonight, but there is perhaps a more difficult twist for us now. But even with the offenses of “visually
impaired” Latter-day Saint mortals, please do not feel tempted to walk away
from the Savior’s Church. In spite of what is said to us and around us, we need
to remember that this church is His. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Now, more than ever, we need His love and support—and He needs
ours. One way that we can show our love
for the Savior is by being long-suffering and patient with other members of His
Church.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
I love the Lord Jesus Christ, and I know that He loves me. The doctrine of His Church that is rock solid
in my heart, and the cornerstone of that doctrine is His unconditional love for
each of us. And while I am mortal too,
and I can allow myself to get frustrated with how mortals fail to express and
demonstrate His love, in my heart I still know that His love for each of us is
universal, and we are infinitely valuable in His eyes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
When I get impatient and feel inclined to question, I think back
to my days serving as a missionary in England.
In addition to Milton, another passage I had memorized verbatim was
Joseph Smith’s rendition of the first vision.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
In presenting the first discussion, I would retell it in the first
person, with much feeling. Every time I
told that story, I would feel the Holy Ghost bear witness that it really
happened as Joseph Smith described. I
have no question that it did. He was a
prophet, and the God of Heaven used him to restore His church to the
earth. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
One of the things I like best about the Joseph Smith story is
learning that Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father knew Joseph Smith personally,
and called him by name. Likewise, they know
each of our names and love and care for us personally. That is true, and as frustrated as I get at
times, I cannot deny it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Like me, most members have a testimony of the first vision. At the
same time, it feels like many good people lack a vision of the place of LGBT
individuals in the Lord’s church. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
So, what are we to do?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Here, I will make another movie reference. I am a Rocky Balboa fan. In one of the sequels, the aging boxer Rocky
gives advice to the son he dearly loves.
His son is having difficulty getting his life together and he blames his
father’s shadow for his problems. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH9ZtUhLKUIuHpRHPUreOHhscUgpYB_gwQgdTbdytLbeJwoRxMtx1N2QO41toUGoU0rsMM6cAoXRY_B7xBxGB8IoeNrA7ZO29-spVmOCAZ2GxxEoRfLM_gcG7kAYCJEWobYd7pp35qAP0/s1600/Rocky-Balboa-son-5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH9ZtUhLKUIuHpRHPUreOHhscUgpYB_gwQgdTbdytLbeJwoRxMtx1N2QO41toUGoU0rsMM6cAoXRY_B7xBxGB8IoeNrA7ZO29-spVmOCAZ2GxxEoRfLM_gcG7kAYCJEWobYd7pp35qAP0/s320/Rocky-Balboa-son-5.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
To that, Rocky says: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>“Let me
tell you something you already know. The
world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows.
It is a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are, it
will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is gonna hit as hard as
life.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>But it
ain’t about how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep
moving forward. It’s how much you can
take, and keep moving forward. That’s
how winning is done.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>Now, if
you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what your worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits,
and not point fingers and blame other people.
Cowards do that and that ain’t you.
You’re better than that!<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>I am
always going to love you, no matter what happens.”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
This has tremendous relevance to our discussion today. In fact, I think there are a lot of
similarities between the LGBT community and prize fighters. Both are groups of people that get knocked
down a lot.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
In all of the things Rocky said, of especial significance is this
line:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>“If you
know what you’re worth, then go out and get what your worth.”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
That is where we have the most critical need in our LGBT
ministering. We need to help all
internalize the label of “child of God” and “loved of the Savior” - that each
of us has great worth.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
A critical factor in self-worth is the labels we allow to be
attached to us. As a physician, labelling
is also a critical factor in my professional life. And, I have learned that labels
have a lot to do with whether or not my patients are successful in low vision rehabilitation.
Let me tell you what I mean. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) coined a term almost a century
ago that has been a great disservice to my field as an eye doctor. It is the label “legal blindness.” If you cannot see a certain size letter on
the letter chart (20/200) you are labeled “legally blind.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
But people who cannot see below the 20/200 size letter generally
still have a good deal of remaining vision—they just need some
magnification. With the right devices
and training they can read the newspaper, cross the street, cook dinner and
answer emails on their computers. In
many cases, they live life just as normally as their perfectly-visioned
counterparts. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
I would contend that more people are blinded by that inaccurate definition
than any eye disease known to man.
Labelling these people as legally blind is as preposterous as labeling someone
who is sick and in the hospital, “legally dead.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
In spite of timely and competent eye care, many people in America
lose vision with conditions like macular degeneration and diabetic
retinopathy. Here is the common scenario:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
First, the patient loses vision, are told that there is no treatment
to restore it and that, by definition, they are now labeled legally blind. Goodbye
and good luck.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Then that patient finds their way to my office. By this time, they have internalized many negative
labels applied by trusted doctors and don’t believe there is any hope that I
can help them. Before I start the medical
rehabilitation process, I often have to rehabilitate their self-perception to a
degree, and in turn instill in them a little hope. In most cases, they are in
fact capable of living independent, productive and happy lives—but the way they
label themselves must change before that can happen.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjidTWqB32Qlg5IHEBhh4Te_VXnLPi4vhimMpTwJ2ahZ8sE7Zg8tgG0tTkFT_Qz6nzTX58S-qEctSolKu3vD3wxB3FkPOvnJ80SXEUFghoRqU8uOsLXSVYA317r_avB92zDdbiRXKawbmU/s1600/greg+olsen+lds+mormon+sud+jesus+christ+cristo4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjidTWqB32Qlg5IHEBhh4Te_VXnLPi4vhimMpTwJ2ahZ8sE7Zg8tgG0tTkFT_Qz6nzTX58S-qEctSolKu3vD3wxB3FkPOvnJ80SXEUFghoRqU8uOsLXSVYA317r_avB92zDdbiRXKawbmU/s1600/greg+olsen+lds+mormon+sud+jesus+christ+cristo4.jpg" /></a>So it was when I was bishop in the Bay ward. Helping rehabilitate people’s self-perception
was often the first order of business as I met with LGBT members. I had to change negative labels into positive
ones. Those included reminding them:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
You are a loved child of God.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
You are loved of God the way you are right now. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
You are welcome in the Lord’s church the way you are right
now. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
You are a good person. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
You have great potential to do good and be good in this life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
You are here on earth now by design and it is no accident that you
are the way you are. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
You are not alone. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
You can become better and the Lord wants to help you to be your
best.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Disciplinary councils are also the source of many negative labels. I have been a bishop in three different
states, and I have served as a counselor in a stake presidency. Consequently, I have had lots of experience disciplinary
counsels and those interested in repentance and utilizing the atonement in
their lives. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
If it were up to me, I’d rename the whole process. Instead of, “Disciplinary
Council” I would call it, “Proceedings for Atonement Application.” People that are “Disfellowshipped” need
anything but less fellowship. So I propose we change that label to, “Hyperfellowship
Candidates,” where they would be included first in every activity and invited
into the homes of their fellow members. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
“Excommunication” is also a potently negative word. Microsoft Word gives me these synonyms for
excommunication: excluded, barred, ejected,
removed, expelled, thrown out. That’s not
a great list of positive labels. Here, I
would solicit your input—I would love to hear your ideas. So far on my short
list, I have “Reinvestigators” or “Lamb in Need of Lots of Love.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
I feel strongly that the Lord would have us as individuals and as
a church do much better than we have at blessing the lives of the at least
500,000 members of His church that are gay (using an exceedingly conservative
3% epidemiological estimation). We can
do so much more to relieve suffering with the truth of the Lord’s love for us.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
So as I close tonight, let me summarize with a list of things I
hope you walk away with. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Let me summarize what I think is important:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
</div>
<ol>
<li>Beware of Labels – avoid negative, embrace positive.</li>
<li>The most certain and positive label that can be applied to any of
us is “a loved child of God.”</li>
<li>Get up when you’re knocked down.
You are not beaten unless you give up.
It is a long fight but with the Lord in your corner, you will win.</li>
<li>Everything will be alright in the end.</li>
<li>Don’t walk away from the Savior.</li>
<li>Challenge yourself by asking the question, “What can I personally
do to relieve some of the suffering in this community?”</li>
</ol>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Let me close with a quote from our last general conference. This is from Sister Neill Marriott. Her talk was rich and powerful. Listen to her closing sentence: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i>“When we
offer our broken heart to Jesus Christ, He accepts our offering. He takes us
back. No matter what losses, wounds, and rejection we have suffered, His grace
and healing are mightier than all. Truly yoked to the Savior, we can say with
confidence, “It will all work out.” <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
There is much that the Lord would have us do. Don’t jump ship. Let the Spirit guide you as to how best to
use your time, talents and resources in the service of the Lord Jesus Christ. To
my mind, there is no greater cause that I want to be involved in than ministering
to LGBT Mormons – and to give sight to those who aren’t able to see the truth
of their own important place in the Lord’s eternal plan.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
I bear testimony that He loves each and every one of us, in the
name of Jesus Christ, amen.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-66766264421875888102015-12-03T06:00:00.000-08:002015-12-03T08:52:45.485-08:00On the Vilification of Disagreement<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF77-Ey4DmCIiBsB30HUI1djcWSPp1RkeR64ejeu0ja_mEDKtlcZQz5YdLB0h7epSWQZ6pA-BNgdbFq6GuR4AwowoubFfaCSwtIL1OXlwHFmI81PAY0JO1EkNo11vN7quyeG60jA0OFHE/s1600/Matt+Head+Shot+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF77-Ey4DmCIiBsB30HUI1djcWSPp1RkeR64ejeu0ja_mEDKtlcZQz5YdLB0h7epSWQZ6pA-BNgdbFq6GuR4AwowoubFfaCSwtIL1OXlwHFmI81PAY0JO1EkNo11vN7quyeG60jA0OFHE/s320/Matt+Head+Shot+%25281%2529.jpg" width="244" /></a></div>
A guest post by my friend and Stake High Councilman here in the San Francisco Stake, Matt Mosman.<br />
<br />
I can't underscore enough how much respect I have for this man. A multi-generational Mormon who almost unceasingly exhibits Mormonism at its best--even when he disagrees with others, including me. He's also among the most well-read Latter-day Saints I know when it comes to scriptures and our history, and has consistently been a voice of reason in rooms where there doesn't seem to be enough of it around. He is not only someone I admire, but he is someone I'm quite honored to call my friend.<br />
<br />
Here is his take on the growing trend to vilify individuals who disagree with the new LDS policy on LGBT indiivudals and their chidlren. Whether or not you agree with the policy, there is something for you to learn here.<br />
<br />
<br />
_____________________________________________________________<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">In the past month, because I’m struggling with the church’s recent
pronouncement on people who enter into a same-sex marriage and the children of
those couples, I’ve been accused of a few things:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">Lacking a testimony</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">Not being an active member</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">Not knowing my own mind</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">Being a person who values “fitting in with the world” over “God’s
truth”</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">Being part of a “quitter culture”</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">“Taking the easy way out”</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">Literally being “Anti-Mormon”</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">Et cetera</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">All of this -- all of it -- from folks who live hundreds of miles
from me, none of whom has ever had the opportunity to meet me or talk with me.
A few were positively stunned to learn that I hold a stake calling, as I have
at one level or another for the past decade. I can’t know for sure, but none
seem to have considered the notion that perhaps I am a man who loves the Mormon
church, wants desperately for the church to be as amazing as I think it can be,
wants to help in every way, prays for the leadership of the church to be guided
by the hand of God, and yet honestly wonders if the church has gotten this one
right just yet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">I’m not alone. This vilification of those who disagree has been
playing out across wards and stakes all over the world. That’s a problem, I
think. And I want to think out loud about issues that seem to give rise to it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;"><b>On Accusations of “Anti-Mormonism”</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">More years ago than I care to admit, I was walking down a Chicago
street with my missionary companion, Elder Hansen (not his real name). It was
one of those sweltering Midwestern summer afternoons, where the air just sort
of lays on you like steaming barber’s towels. We were in the middle of a
particularly fruitless day of tracting, knocking on door after door without
success.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">As we approached a street corner, a cluster of teenagers, not much
younger than we were actually, appeared with what must have been thirty water
balloons in their hands. Each of the kids was soaked; apparently this had been
going on for a while.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">Seeing us, they laughingly called out “church boys!”, and
proceeded to unload their stash of balloons on us. All of them. We were
drenched.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">Which, to be honest, felt wonderful. I ran my hands through my wet
hair and stooped to pick up my scriptures, which I’d dropped when I threw my
hands up to ward off the “attack.” Cool water ran down my back. The boys ran
away laughing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">I stood back up, and Elder Hansen was looking at me very
seriously. I think maybe tears were welling up in his eyes, though it was hard
to tell with his face all wet. “Elder Mosman,” he said quietly, “we will be
blessed for enduring this kind of persecution.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">Mormons, it turns out, are hyper-sensitive to persecution. A bunch
of kids having a good time on a hot day becomes a mob bent on harassment, and
just about any attempt to disagree becomes “anti-Mormon.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">At some level it’s understandable, since we are simply recalling a
time when persecution was real. It’s worth noting that Missouri’s Executive
Order 44, calling for Mormons to be “exterminated or driven from the state,”
was formally rescinded less than forty years ago (though to be fair, it was
unused and dormant for many years before that). Mormons didn’t happily resettle
to Utah -- they were driven there by threat of mob violence in Illinois, quite by
force, and settled there at least in part because it was far enough away from
everyone else that they felt safe from being murdered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">So I get it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">But part of being a religion that people can take seriously is an
ability to allow that people, both from within and from without, will disagree
on all kinds of things -- doctrines, policies, whether Diet Coke is allowed by
the Word of Wisdom, how and when to bring up to that one deacon that he needs
to comb his %$#@ hair before passing the sacrament. Most disagreements are
between well-meaning people who just see things from different perspectives. I’ve
had people “do me wrong,” to borrow the old cowboy phrase, but almost never on
purpose.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5hrE5nUNp_tRcGqqxB51leT5T7aYFpygzUqQ6KL-nqd8KAwtFyALuzIiqQOAE8OVMGdjey6BRvnH1-H_bYPvduzwRwetu0bgIxIdozUxt_yZ6ggGeex6rkgLMIdFRT0uoK7FcdbT9KRM/s1600/Confusion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5hrE5nUNp_tRcGqqxB51leT5T7aYFpygzUqQ6KL-nqd8KAwtFyALuzIiqQOAE8OVMGdjey6BRvnH1-H_bYPvduzwRwetu0bgIxIdozUxt_yZ6ggGeex6rkgLMIdFRT0uoK7FcdbT9KRM/s320/Confusion.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">Disagreement is not persecution, and a Mormon who just doesn’t see
a certain topic the same way as you do is not necessarily even trying to get
you to see things his/her way. Persecution implies a certain degree of ill
intent -- while I may actually do some kind of harm to you on accident, it is
surpassingly difficult to <i>accidentally </i>persecute someone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">Likewise, I think it would be very hard to accidentally be
anti-Mormon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">Moreover, “anti-Mormon” is a bit of a dog whistle for believers,
and should be applied with a significant degree of caution. The accusation puts
the person with whom you disagree outside of the circle. They become, not a
brother or sister who may have a perfectly good reason to feel hurt or who has
a genuine and prayerfully-considered position on a matter, but simply an enemy
of Christ’s church. It’s a heck of a thing to accuse a person of that. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">The accusation effectively ends any possibility of a decent
discussion, where I might learn from you and you from me. There can be no
give-and-take after that. I am the enemy. You hold the Standard of Liberty. I’m
wrong. You’re right. The End.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">But Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf suggests that debate is okay. In
fact, he says that it’s central to our church’s history: “In this Church that
honors personal agency so strongly, that was restored by a young man who asked
questions and sought answers, we respect those who honestly search for truth,”
he offered in the October 2013 General Conference. I suggest that we all take
him at his word, and allow for people to wonder (and, maybe, wander) a bit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">And in any case, I presume that no one is claiming infallibility
for the church’s leadership.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;"><b>Do Mormons Believe in a Doctrine of Infallibility?</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">Mormons do not believe in infallibility. As George Q. Cannon
wrote, in “Gospel Truth”: “The </span><span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">First Presidency cannot claim, individually or collectively,
infallibility. Infallibility is not given to men. They are fallible.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">There is a sort of pat Mormon response to this that allows that
the leadership of the church can make mistakes, like I suppose miscalculating a
tip or something, but not in the guidance of the church. But this simply does
not hold up to even the most casual scrutiny. Elder Uchtdorf refreshingly told
us in the talk referenced above: “To be perfectly frank, there have been times
when members or leaders in the Church have simply made mistakes. There may have
been things said or done that were not in harmony with our values, principles,
or doctrine.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">I don’t want to overstate that. I don’t believe that he meant that
it happens all the time, or that everybody in church leadership in Salt Lake is
just blindly guessing, or that doctrine is some kind of drunkard’s walk that
eventually settles on truth. But this great leader of our church, in a bold
attempt to cast the net wide and draw all of us together, nevertheless cast the
notion of infallibility aside rather dramatically.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">That this is true is not only self-evident from the fact that we
are dealing with mortals, it is also evident in our history: Brigham Young’s
ideas about Adam and Wilford Woodruff’s notation in the Journal of Discourses
that “God himself is increasing and progressing in knowledge, power, and
dominion, and will do so, worlds without end” would be considered heretical
today (at least the knowledge part), and one cannot read the church’s essay
about </span><span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">“Race and the Priesthood” without stopping a bit on this sentence:
“Over</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;"> time, <i>Church leaders </i>and
members advanced many theories to explain the priesthood and temple restrictions.
<i>None of these explanations is accepted today as the official doctrine of the
Church.</i>” (My italics)</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: OTS-derived-font;">Now, I want here to say that I am very reluctant to point those
issues out. Many members feel strongly that the church’s leadership has never
erred, and it gives them comfort to believe that. And for myself, I view those
instances and others like them as anomalies in the stellar guidance that the
church’s leadership has given to its membership over the years. I’m not saying
that the church’s leadership is as likely to be wrong as it is to be right. I’m
only saying that it can and does happen that mistakes are made, and I’m
suggesting that it shouldn’t bother us much to say that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: OTS-derived-font;">Ultimately, you cannot at the same time hold that the leadership
of the church is not infallible, and yet believe that they never, ever make
mistakes. That is like suggesting that a person is not left-handed while
observing that they never, ever do anything with their right hand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">In the end, the determination of what is right is our own
responsibility. As J. Reuben Clark said, “The question is how shall we know
when the things they have spoken were said as they were 'moved upon by the Holy
Ghost?' I have given some thought to the question, and the answer thereto so
far as I can determine, is: We can tell when the speakers are 'moved upon by
the Holy Ghost,' only when we, ourselves, are 'moved upon by the Holy Ghost.' <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">In a way, this completely shifts the responsibility from them to
us to determine when they so speak.” (To seminary and institute faculties,
Brigham Young University, July 7, 1954.) I am aware that one could produce a
mountain of quotes that say, in essence, “just follow the prophet without fail.”
That certainly solves for a lot of issues. But it removes from us the responsibility
to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling. I do not doubt that I
will never be <i>led astray </i>by the prophets and apostles. I am satisfied
that they are amazing men, and that they are guided quite remarkably by the
hand of God. They will never lead me southwest when the proper path is due
north. But to say that they will never be <i>mistaken </i>at any point on a
matter of policy, or even on a matter of doctrine, is to ignore settled facts
and to shirk our own responsibility.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">Policies can certainly be incorrect and require change, and we
have to allow that even some doctrines will change over some period of time. <i>To
say that nothing can ever be revised or modified is to say that you do not
believe in the ninth Article of Faith. </i>Joseph did not write that a few
niggly things would be revealed, so long as they were revealed within a few
years surrounding the church’s founding. He wrote that “many great and
important things” were yet to be revealed. This thrilling possibility is one of
the most attractive things about the church, in fact.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLtq0kwyPXQsIhlynuF1KVbdm15ok9vFVTcAcrbTUIo1THQBgLQ9mIFe0wPSh15lZW5pqZewEjrup4C2CCWeET4kPBWsPcaYTnOTe5YP3-cJgo9dI90j_Jx08T8lgUiRvwLK35WOV_gW4/s1600/guard+dog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLtq0kwyPXQsIhlynuF1KVbdm15ok9vFVTcAcrbTUIo1THQBgLQ9mIFe0wPSh15lZW5pqZewEjrup4C2CCWeET4kPBWsPcaYTnOTe5YP3-cJgo9dI90j_Jx08T8lgUiRvwLK35WOV_gW4/s320/guard+dog.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">So where does that leave us, or maybe more accurately, where does
that leave me? A little askew, is the short answer. I don’t easily or
flippantly stand apart from the leadership of my church. It’s not something I
do without feeling “off.” But when I search my own mind and heart, and yes even
when I pray about this latest policy, I don’t feel good about it. I don’t feel
peace or warmth or goodness or any of the things I’ve learned to associate with
truth. I feel confused and discouraged.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">I’ve read that a fairly large number of church members who feel
similarly discouraged have chosen to leave the church, but that is not for me.
I respect their choice (another thing Elder Uchtdorf asked us to do in that
conference talk), but it’s not mine. I’ve raised my hand to say that I will
sustain my church leaders, and I intend to do that. “Sustain” to me means something
like “support them in every way to magnify their callings,” and I don’t think
that is accomplished if I were to leave, or if I were to pretend I’m okay when
I’m not. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">This is how I’m sustaining them: by being honest. Being honest <i>is
</i>supporting. Being honest <i>is </i>helping. Doing nothing never is. A fake
assent never is. Church leaders can do with that what they will, but at least
they’ll know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: OTS-derived-font; font-size: 11.5pt;">So here I am, along with thousands and thousands of others,
feeling a little unmoored. And here’s the thing: you don’t have to feel that
way. I’m just asking you to be respectful and thoughtful when friends tell you
that they do. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-38301358618094316742015-11-29T09:31:00.001-08:002015-11-29T09:31:41.655-08:00The LDS Church’s Policy on Gay Parents and their Children as Seen through the Lens of Love<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A guest post by my
friend Bob Rees, who shares his views on recent Latter-day Saint policy changes
that affect LGBT members and their children. Bob served as a bishop, stake high
councilor, Institute teacher and a member of the Baltic States Mission
Presidency, currently teaches Mormon Studies at Graduate Theological Union in
Berkeley. Previously he taught at UCLA and UC Santa Cruz and was a Fulbright
Professor in American Studies at Vytautas Magnus University in Kaunas,
Lithuania.</span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">___________________________________________________________</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlPrxp1uvi4janodP_Q5emxheRXG9BBfH2X8PcnWCyqYN775wpTDcUjZBaDdluZRKWG7-Kg7qL9kdW-mvrucnjYHLKLoSI-ExHGAW_f_YFceD3no4FF0l3lYeMXoizNkHkhdfemYbLcXU/s1600/bobrees.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlPrxp1uvi4janodP_Q5emxheRXG9BBfH2X8PcnWCyqYN775wpTDcUjZBaDdluZRKWG7-Kg7qL9kdW-mvrucnjYHLKLoSI-ExHGAW_f_YFceD3no4FF0l3lYeMXoizNkHkhdfemYbLcXU/s1600/bobrees.jpg" /></a><span style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">One of my Lithuanian
students sent a note the night of the terrorist attack on Paris expressing
appreciation for an essay I had written after 9-11 titled, “</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">America’s War on Terrorism: One Latter-day
Saint’s Perspective,”<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=5835564038959249094#_edn1" name="_ednref1" style="mso-endnote-id: edn1;" title=""><span class="MsoEndnoteReference"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><span class="MsoEndnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[1]</span></span></span></span></a> and
informing me that there would be a special Pietà or ceremony of mourning in
Vilnius during what she called a “week of God’s mercy.” I wrote back, “These
periodic episodes of madness, as troubling as they are, do not cancel or
contradict the essential rightness or goodness in the world, especially when we
understand that they break God’s heart as well as our own. Broken hearts mend
and become more tender.” That’s pretty close to how I have felt the past
several weeks as so many of my fellow Latter-day Saints have been in pain over
the Church’s new policy on gay and lesbian parents and their children. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That policy ,which labels such parents
as “apostates” and places strict limits on their children in relation to baby blessings,
baptism, confirmation, ordination to the priesthood and mission calls—in other
words most of the cardinal rights and rituals of membership in the Church--has
caused<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>what scientists refer to as “a
disturbance in the field.” Although this term has specific meaning within both
physics and psychotherapy,<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=5835564038959249094#_edn2" name="_ednref2" style="mso-endnote-id: edn2;" title=""><span class="MsoEndnoteReference"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><span class="MsoEndnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[2]</span></span></span></span></a><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am using it here to describe a
significant disruption in the social and emotional fabric of the LDS church, a
disturbance of the normal healthy functioning of the organization. While such
disturbances are predictable, they are none-the-less challenging and can be
wrenching both to the organization/system and to its constituent
parts—individual members-- as is clearly the case with regard to LGBT members
and their families and friends affected by the new policy change.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have experienced (and endured) a number of
such disturbances in the field of my faith from the time I joined the Mormon Church
as a ten-year-old boy at the end of the Second World War. Some of those
disturbances have been part of the necessary process of developing a mature
faith; others have been a result of my own inadequate and sometimes failed
attempts to live as fully a Christian life as I have hoped; but most of those
disturbances have resulted from policies, practices and positions instituted by
the Church that have resulted in psychic and spiritual discord. This has been
particularly true of policy or positions that have been injurious or harmful to
others, including the Church’s ban on priesthood and temple ordinances for
blacks of African descent, the unequal treatment and marginalization of women,
and, more recently, policies relating to LGBT members.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">*I am indebted to my friend and
colleague, Dr. Raymond Bradley, and his revolutionary work on love as articulated
in his forthcoming <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Lens of Love:
Holographic Eye of Universal Consciousnes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> All systems (including all
organizations and cultural groups) constitute fields that have their own order
and coherence—a manifestation of the essential wholeness and integrity that is
the basis of any system’s long-term ability to endure. In human systems, such
system integrity is based in love and our success in expressing that love as a
coherent wave field of energy that radiates literally from our hearts out into the
world in all directions. Such coherent heart-generated energy travels like the
coherent light from a laser, virtually without limit. By contrast, negative
emotions, such as fear and anger (which likely <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>lie at the heart of the new policies, in spite
of assurances to the contrary), generate an erratic, disorganized wave field of
energy, again from the heart, which is the most powerful generator of
electro-magnetic energy in the human system.<span class="MsoEndnoteReference"> <a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=5835564038959249094#_edn3" name="_ednref3" style="mso-endnote-id: edn3;" title=""><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><span class="MsoEndnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[3]</span></span></span></a></span> By
its very nature, such an incoherent field of energy has short duration and
limited reach, although its disruption and damage may be felt within the system
for some time, as I feel will be the case with the new policy changes. In
relation to the power of love, such fear-based energy is small and weak.
Eventually, it is overwhelmed by the more powerful force of love-generated coherence.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Viewed from this perspective, this most
recent disturbance to the field of Mormonism is but an aberration—a temporary,
but necessary expression of pent-up negative energy that some feel in relation
to the truth of the wholeness of love. True love is comprehensive and
inclusive, embracing all, without class, creed, color, life circumstance or
life-choice. That is God’s truth, the truth that Christ willingly gave his life
for on the Cross. Holding the truth of the wholeness of love is not only the
Christian and “right” thing to do, but is to be aligned with the reality that
will prevail as the system ultimately purges itself of all untruths and the
sources of anything less than whole, unconditional love. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2HG9MKM1MCOKVESax2QBWYO8zCwNif_Y0pAxc-Yh9a_pIIuLauq73ipFZ5JKipSBoKz3PSb-7GgnR38ufkCJVFT-ZkYkmw09TSnhjCUsHdbYz0ZAZ2r3HLq3MyyUcexWRhG48fIuDDyA/s1600/Corbis-42-74492099.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2HG9MKM1MCOKVESax2QBWYO8zCwNif_Y0pAxc-Yh9a_pIIuLauq73ipFZ5JKipSBoKz3PSb-7GgnR38ufkCJVFT-ZkYkmw09TSnhjCUsHdbYz0ZAZ2r3HLq3MyyUcexWRhG48fIuDDyA/s320/Corbis-42-74492099.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">As Latter-day Saints (members and
leaders) we can choose to remain in the wholeness of love, and, in doing so, empower
the coherence of love to prevail—as indeed, it always does, even if in the
short term it may seem not to. Even if we succumb with fear to unloving,
divisive and destructive action, the wholeness of love will still ultimately
prevail, for this is the power of God’s love, whether manifested directly from
him or through us. This is the essential message God reveals to us through to
the prophets and our own hearts; this is the truth that Christ gave his life
for. Thus, as leaders and members, as followers of Christ, there is only one
question for us to ask at this critical time: What is the most loving thing we
can do?—the most loving toward our fellow saints (including those who don’t
agree with us), the most loving toward our leaders (even when we may have been
hurt by their decisions) and, especially at this time, the most loving toward
our gay brothers and lesbian sisters and their families. Such love will help
restore order to the field of faith which constitutes Mormonism as well as the
larger and wider field of Christ’s kingdom.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Jews have an ethical imperative called ”Tikkun
olam,” which means “healing, repairing and transforming the world.” In a
lecture I gave last year, I coined the term “Tikkun k’nessiah,” which means
“healing, repairing and transforming the Church.” This ethic <span style="background: #FDFEFF; color: #001320;">can be traced back to the sixteenth-century
Kabbalist, Isaac Luria, who taught that when God created the world, he sought
to light it by shaping special lamps or vessels to hold his light. Luria
explains, “</span><span style="color: black;">But as God poured the Light into
the vessels, they catastrophically shattered, tumbling down toward the realm of
matter [the earth]. Thus, our world consists of countless shards of the
original vessels entrapping sparks of the Divine Light. Humanity’s great task
involves helping God by freeing and reuniting the scattered Light, raising the
sparks back to Divinity and restoring the broken world.”<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=5835564038959249094#_edn4" name="_ednref4" style="mso-endnote-id: edn4;" title=""><span class="MsoEndnoteReference"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><span class="MsoEndnoteReference"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[4]</span></span></span></span></a> </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br clear="all" style="mso-break-type: section-break; page-break-before: auto;" />
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Many Jews believe it is their duty
to participate in the repair, healing and redemption of the world by “freeing and
uniting the scattered Light,” which is tantamount to freeing and uniting the
scattered love imbedded in our hearts. This is the shared, sacred work of God
and humans. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: none; tab-stops: -.5in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #0e2233; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Today there is
immense pain in the Church. Addressing that pain depends on our individual acts
of courage, of sacrifice, and especially of love. It is in that realm where
much of the most important work of repairing, healing and transforming is to be
done. But there is also the larger realm, the Church beyond the individual
broken heart; beyond the sin and insensitivity with which each of us must
contend in trying to make the gospel and the Church work in our lives, our families
and our congregations; and beyond the madness and mystery that characterize
disturbances in the field of faith. That field, especially when we experience
disturbance in it, is where Christ calls us to labor with love. It is as if he
saying to us, to use words penned by Rumi, “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and
rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=5835564038959249094#_edn5" name="_ednref5" style="mso-endnote-id: edn5;" title=""><span class="MsoEndnoteReference"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><span class="MsoEndnoteReference"><span style="background: white; color: #0e2233; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[5]</span></span></span></span></a></span></div>
</div>
<span style="background: white; color: #0e2233; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br clear="all" style="mso-break-type: section-break; page-break-before: always;" />
</span>
<div style="mso-element: endnote-list;">
<br clear="all" />
<hr align="left" size="1" width="33%" />
<div id="edn1" style="mso-element: endnote;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-hyphenate: none; tab-stops: -1.0in -.5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=5835564038959249094#_ednref1" name="_edn1" style="mso-endnote-id: edn1;" title=""><span class="MsoEndnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><span class="MsoEndnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[1]</span></span></span></span></span></a><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> “America’s War on Terrorism: One
Latter-day Saint’s Perspective,” <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dialogue:
A Journal of Mormon Thought,</i> 36:1 (Spring 2003), 11-32.</span></div>
</div>
<div id="edn2" style="mso-element: endnote;">
<h1 style="background: white; line-height: 12.0pt; margin-top: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=5835564038959249094#_ednref2" name="_edn2" style="mso-endnote-id: edn2;" title=""><span class="MsoEndnoteReference"><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><span class="MsoEndnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[2]</span></span></span></span></span></a><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> The term is used in physics
with reference to electromagnetic waves (see “Fundamentals of
Physics/Electromagnetic Waves” at </span><a href="https://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Fundamentals_of_Physics/Electromagnetic_Waves"><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">https://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Fundamentals_of_Physics/Electromagnetic_Waves</span></a><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">)</span></span><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">. It is more controversial in
medicine and psychotherapy (see “Defining the Terminology of Nursing” at </span><a href="http://www.nanda.org/DEFINING-THE-KNOWLEDGE-OF-NURSING-Priorities-for-Terminology-Development-_b_7.html"><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">http://www.nanda.org/DEFINING-THE-KNOWLEDGE-OF-NURSING-Priorities-for-Terminology-Development-_b_7.html</span></a><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">). See also Steven H. Cooper, </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; letter-spacing: -.75pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A Disturbance in the Field: Essays in
Transference-Countertransference Engagement</span></i><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; letter-spacing: -.75pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> (London: Routledge, 2010)<b>.
</b></span><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I use the
term herein both as metaphor and to suggest its relevance in any energetic
field. See also </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Lynne-Sharon-Schwartz/e/B000AP9NGW/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1"><span style="background: white; color: windowtext; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Lynne Sharon Schwartz</span></a><span class="a-declarative"><span style="background: white; color: windowtext; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">’s novel, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Disturbances in the Field: A Novel </i>(New York: Open Road, 2005)</span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></i></h1>
</div>
<div id="edn3" style="mso-element: endnote;">
<div class="MsoEndnoteText">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=5835564038959249094#_ednref3" name="_edn3" style="mso-endnote-id: edn3;" title=""><span class="MsoEndnoteReference"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><span class="MsoEndnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[3]</span></span></span></span></a>
See Rollin McCraty, et al, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Coherent
Heart Heart–Brain Interactions, Psychophysiological Coherence, and the
Emergence of System-Wide Order</i>, .http://www.heartmathbenelux.com/doc/McCratyeal_article_in_integral_review_2009.pdf</div>
</div>
<div id="edn4" style="mso-element: endnote;">
<div class="MsoEndnoteText">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=5835564038959249094#_ednref4" name="_edn4" style="mso-endnote-id: edn4;" title=""><span class="MsoEndnoteReference"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><span class="MsoEndnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[4]</span></span></span></span></a>
“Tikkun Olam: The Spiritual Purpose of Life,” <a href="http://www.innerfrontier.org/Practices/TikkunOlam.htm">http://www.innerfrontier.org/Practices/TikkunOlam.htm</a><span class="MsoHyperlink">.</span></div>
</div>
<div id="edn5" style="mso-element: endnote;">
<div class="MsoEndnoteText">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=5835564038959249094#_ednref5" name="_edn5" style="mso-endnote-id: edn5;" title=""><span class="MsoEndnoteReference"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><span class="MsoEndnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[5]</span></span></span></span></a>
Rumi, “There is a field,” http://www.elise.com/quotes/rumi_-_there_is_a_field. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhruFSgWqCIbTdpeuE_nb6am-rY55lBuvGoIsXbstbz8MrdH0M_0VLS8qYwySG8TNhE11-GTwYCQ9clUcSTVR10bumSqvbxG-oglEFX_bv4vaeK5NaW86Bs369Wi6vQD_1UACQs8ycmxi8/s1600/sacramento-california-808x480-CWD_101006_APerson_003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhruFSgWqCIbTdpeuE_nb6am-rY55lBuvGoIsXbstbz8MrdH0M_0VLS8qYwySG8TNhE11-GTwYCQ9clUcSTVR10bumSqvbxG-oglEFX_bv4vaeK5NaW86Bs369Wi6vQD_1UACQs8ycmxi8/s1600/sacramento-california-808x480-CWD_101006_APerson_003.jpg" height="190" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">This talk was given by my friend Richard Keys in the
Sacramento Hurley Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints late
last fall. I met Rich a few years ago—as an LGBT Mormon, he was just beginning
to come to terms with who he was and what that meant for how he fit inside the
Church. Rich is a lifelong Mormon, formerly married with children, and I’m
proud to have him walk this path with me and my LGBT Mormon fellows. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Rich showed some remarkable courage in delivering this talk
in a conservative area like Sacramento—and he’s joined many who work at the
local level to help build bridges inside the LDS community one step at a time,
beginning with this talk. In the note he sent me he also shared that he’d come
out to both his bishop and stake president a few weeks earlier. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">For each of us as LGBT Mormons, I’ve long held the belief
that our purpose isn’t to struggle under the weight of some imaginary affliction
of unknown cause. Rather, our purpose is to be our authentic selves—and with
that, fulfill our mission to help our Mormon fellows shrug off labels and begin
to understand (and offer) Christlike love to all, including those who—for whatever
reason—appear to be the least of these in this sphere. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Enjoy. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">_______________________________________________</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, I was a Human
Resources Manager for a major health insurance company at a large claims center
here in Sacramento with over 200 employees.<span>
</span>One day I wanted to give the employees a pat on the back and have a
little fun at the same time, and I noticed April 1 was coming up, so I wrote a
memo To All Sacramento Employees, dated it April 1, and in it I announced that in
order to recognize the loyalty of our long-term employees and to work more
closely with the union, “all future building evacuation drills and actual
emergency evacuations will be done in seniority order.”<span> </span> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Then in the second paragraph, I went into
detail about all the advantages of this plan and how it would work—the 25-year
employee would exit first and so on until the person hired last week would be
the last to leave the burning building.<span>
</span>Then in the final paragraph, I wrote, “Finally, please note the date of
this memo, consider its true intent, and realize that we love and appreciate
your hard work and effort, your desire to do your very best day after day, and
your willingness to set aside your personal problems every day to help the
customers with theirs.”<span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span> </span>Then my
secretary put a copy on every desk, but the employees were so busy that they didn’t
take the time to read the entire memo—they only read the first half of it.<span> </span>Then they went ballistic, swarmed over to the
shop steward’s desk, and within 10 minutes, the shop steward was in my doorway
with smoke coming out of her ears.<span> </span>I
looked up and said, “Holly, what’s up?”<span> </span>“You
know perfectly well what’s up,” and she waved the memo at me.<span> </span>“Did you read the memo?”<span> </span>“Of course I read it!<span> </span>Everybody’s read it!”<span> </span>“Did you read all of it?<span> </span>Sit down, it’s only one page so it won’t take
long, but read the whole thing from top to bottom.”<span> </span>She begrudgingly sat down and read it, got to
the final paragraph, got embarrassed, started to laugh, realized she had been
April Fooled and that it was really a love letter to the employees, and said, “I
was never here.<span> </span>Don’t worry, I’ll take
care of it,” and went back to her desk.<span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span><br /></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Fast forward a year, another April 1 comes along, and I send
out another memo.<span> </span>This one said, “Due to
the limited number of chairs and tables in the break room, we are instituting a
reservation system for the busier times of each workday, including breaks and
lunch periods.”<span> </span>The second paragraph
went into detail about how it would work—who’s eligible, how often, filling out
the form in triplicate, and the third paragraph was, word for word, exactly the
same as the last memo—“Finally, please note the date of this memo, consider its
true intent, and realize that we love and appreciate…,” and so forth.<span> </span>We put it on each desk, they were too busy
again and only read the first half, everyone descended on the shop steward—but Holly
remembered the lesson from last time, and she read the whole thing, so when
people came to her, she told them, “Just go back to your desk and read the
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHiNbmlKYtuvHlf4V3iBc_vd17fwWPYXLX0kKnz7HJcoe4tvpyBlwVrYJdNJ1lCR1KEyEtWW-NssA8P70lTQ2Vl1yknHcdOPdan-xsukQ0MMKRGvmrGoqUmrOZWlX-2ryybqgWOGPmVDI/s1600/Corbis-42-62198807.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHiNbmlKYtuvHlf4V3iBc_vd17fwWPYXLX0kKnz7HJcoe4tvpyBlwVrYJdNJ1lCR1KEyEtWW-NssA8P70lTQ2Vl1yknHcdOPdan-xsukQ0MMKRGvmrGoqUmrOZWlX-2ryybqgWOGPmVDI/s1600/Corbis-42-62198807.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Two thousand years ago, the Roman philosopher Seneca
worried about information overload—even then—and asked “What’s the point of
having countless books and libraries whose titles the owner could scarcely read
through in a whole lifetime?” (Time, 9-8-14, p. 37) <span> </span>Today, a smartphone gives you easy access to
billions of times the information of all the libraries on earth in Seneca’s
day.<span> </span>You can watch what’s happening anywhere
from the other side of the world to the international space station—and watch
it all live, do a complete, thorough background check on anyone before you
decide whether to date him or not, check the arrival time of your connecting
flight while you’re still 33,000 feet up, and get the exact directions on how
to drive from anywhere to anywhere.<span> </span>Goggle
the word “Mormon” and you’ll get about 38,000,000 results in a fifth of a
second.<span> </span>In today’s hi-tech world, we’re
swamped with so much information that we can’t possibly use it all, so we keep cutting
corners and creating shortcuts trying to control the beast.<span> </span>Part of this process involves the use of more
and more labels for everything—and everyone.<span>
</span>Why take a full page or paragraph to describe someone if you can shrink
it down to a single word or phrase?<span> </span>Unfortunately,
that comes with a heavy price in today’s world.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>For example, a member of the church runs for
President of the United States.<span> </span>Everyone
outside of the church says, “He’s a Mormon, huh?<span> </span>Well, you know what that means!”—and everyone
inside the church says, “He’s a Mormon, huh?<span>
</span>Well, you know what that means!”<span>
</span>Meanwhile, the guy doesn’t exactly fit any of those preconceived ideas
of what it means to be a Mormon.<span> </span>He’s
like us.<span> </span>None of us fits that Mormon
Mold exactly.<span> </span>We’re all a little bit
different, with different histories, different struggles, different priorities
and attitudes and opinions.<span> </span>He’s just
trying to explain his foreign policy and how the Chinese economy affects the US
and his take on the Middle East, but he can’t because every time he tries,
people keep saying, “He’s a Mormon, huh?<span>
</span>Well, you know what that means!”<span> </span>We,
as a church and as individuals, should understand more than anyone else the destructive
power and hurt and pain that labels can cause—because 175 years ago this year,
the government issued an official order for our extermination—just because of
the label “Mormon.” <span> </span></span> </span></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijoMnhLZUsPm7_-uet1AK8BcH37eMdo6Xk__kHIFgBNGXmcSfrilP9FUNhLhBQl-o6O5cmG_JzIxEyPWI_HLVvXmfQoPXviNogn1ya2edZP7UGOOV-p0LsZ-7xGBGSwFJieUkW0kNvobQ/s1600/Every_Label__Person_by_Starcrosseddreamer86.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijoMnhLZUsPm7_-uet1AK8BcH37eMdo6Xk__kHIFgBNGXmcSfrilP9FUNhLhBQl-o6O5cmG_JzIxEyPWI_HLVvXmfQoPXviNogn1ya2edZP7UGOOV-p0LsZ-7xGBGSwFJieUkW0kNvobQ/s1600/Every_Label__Person_by_Starcrosseddreamer86.jpg" height="214" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Today, there seems to be a label for
everyone:<span> </span>Democrat, illegal alien,
redneck, bleeding heart, Arab, Republican, Black, Jew, tree hugger, homeless, loser,
activist, gay, nigger, faggot, retard, conservative, queer, liberal—and on and
on.<span> </span>Some of these may seem pretty tame
while others may cut to the bone, but all of us have our own idea of what each
of these labels means, and none of them means exactly the same to all of
us.<span> </span>There’s only one label I can think
of that applies to every person on the earth, from Mother Theresa to the guy
who cut me off in traffic yesterday:<span> </span>I
am a child of God, and so are you, and so is everyone else, and all of us, even
the guy who cut me off yesterday, sustained our Father’s plan before coming to
earth.<span> </span>President Monson has stated “we
are ALL spirit children of our Heavenly Father and, as such, are brothers and
sisters.<span> </span>As we keep this truth in mind,
loving ALL of God’s children will become easier.” (Ensign, May 2014, p. 91,
caps added)</span></span></div>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333;">Most of us are familiar
with the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, but the reason for their destruction is
not the label we often attach to it.<span> </span>In Ezekiel
(16:49-50), the Lord states, “Behold, this was the iniquity of the sister
Sodom: Pride, fullness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in
her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy. And
they were haughty and committed abomination before me: therefore I took them
away as I saw good.”<span> </span>Also in Ezekiel
(34:16), the Lord speaks of his sheep in the last days and says:<span> </span>“I will seek that which was lost, and bring
again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken….”</span> </span></span></div>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>So let’s change the story of Sodom and Gomorrah slightly
to “liken the scriptures” a little more closely to our day.<span> </span>The Lord tells Abraham He’s going to destroy
Sodom and Gomorrah because of their pride, idleness, haughtiness, not helping
the poor and needy, and so forth.<span>
</span>Abraham asks, “If I can find 50 righteous people there, will you spare
the cities?”<span> </span>The Lord says, “Yeah, I’ll
do that.”<span> </span>“How about 45?<span> </span>If I can find 45 righteous people, will you
spare the cities?”<span> </span>The Lord says, “Sure,
I’ll go with 45.”<span> </span>“Well, how about
40?<span> </span>“Okay.” “If you’ll do it for 40, how
about 30?”<span> </span>“Fine.”<span> </span>“20?”<span>
</span>“Okay.” He bargains the Lord down to 10 people.<span> </span>“If I can find just 10 righteous people, will
you spare the cities?”<span> </span>The Lord says,
“My grace is sufficient.<span> </span>If you can find
10 righteous people, I’ll spare the cities.”<span>
</span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>He doesn’t ask for perfect people, or even people as righteous as
Abraham, just 10 people who meet the minimum standard of righteousness from a
loving, merciful God—and lo and behold, Abraham finds 10 people.<span> </span>Now, none of them is exactly like Abraham—One
smokes, another drinks, one has some tattoos and a few body piercings, another
has a different sexual orientation, still another is from an enemy tribe, but
they’re all good, honorable people, and they all meet the minimum requirements
set by the Lord for Him to call them righteous…and the Lord spares Sodom and
Gomorrah.<span> </span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>Now, here’s the question:<span> </span>Do you think Abraham could love those ten
people in the middle of Sodom and Gomorrah, those people who are so different
from him, but whom the Lord still spared?<span>
</span>And in today’s world, could we love them—not just tolerate them, not
just keep our judgments about them to ourselves, but really think and show a
genuine Christlike love towards those people who are so different from us?</span></span></span></div>
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<![endif]--><span>We have more scriptures than any other church on
the face of the earth, but nowhere does it say, “A new commandment I give unto
you, that ye tolerate one another.<span> </span>As I
have tolerated you, so shall ye tolerate one another.”<span> </span>Christlike love is not about tolerance,
because tolerating someone is just a polite way of saying, “I put up with
you.”<span> </span>It’s not talking about someone
behind their back but keeping it from them.<span>
</span>It’s not giving them a pat on the back and then washing your hands
afterwards, and it’s not even separating the sin from the sinner, because
“sinner” is just another destructive label.<span>
</span> </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span><span>In a fireside here in Sacramento, Elder Hartman Rector once said, “Don’t
judge others.<span> </span>We don’t know where they
aimed.<span> </span>We only know where they hit, and
people don’t usually hit where they aim.” (Hartman Rector, Fireside, 11-8-09,
Sacramento, CA)<span> </span>This kind of judging is
not in our job description.<span> </span>We leave
that to the Lord, who knows where we aim, who knows what’s in our hearts, and
who looks for reasons to save us, instead of condemning us.<span> </span>The Lord asks us to get past all of this and
to work on Christlike love for each other, because He knows how it will help
ourselves and our fellow man, and He knows how anything less will make our
journey here so much more difficult.<span> </span>As
one man put it, “Every human being needs someone to love them, whether they’re
going to hell or not.”—David Samsel, “Utah, Mormons, and Gay Marriage,” <a href="mailto:medium.com/@dssnyc">medium.com/@dssnyc</a> </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">The color of a person’s skin should not determine where he
sits on the bus—neither should his politics, religion, worthiness, social or economic
status, sexual orientation, IQ, or any other way they may be different.<span> </span>For example, Elder Quinton L. Cook of the
Quorum of the Twelve stated, Quote: “As a church, nobody should be more loving
and compassionate.<span> </span>Let us be at the
forefront in terms of expressing love, compassion, and outreach.<span> </span>Let’s not have families exclude or be
disrespectful of those who choose a different lifestyle as a result of their
feelings about their own gender,” Unquote (<a href="http://www.mormonsandgays.org/">www.mormonsandgays.org</a>), and the same
counsel applies for any other differences.<span>
</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Time to summarize with three short stories, all of them true:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoListBulletCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0in; text-indent: 0in;">
<b>Story #1:</b><span><b> </b> </span>“It’s a forward operating base near Tal Afar,
Iraq, November 2003.<span> </span>Nobody’s in a good
mood.<span> </span>A patrol was ambushed the night
before.<span> </span>A popular staff sergeant lost
his leg to an RPG and may die.</div>
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<br /></div>
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“The next night, the battalion
commander leads a raid against a suspected insurgent leader.<span> </span>His soldiers swarm the house before daybreak.<span> </span>Doors are kicked in.<span> </span>The family is roused.<span> </span>The soldiers force the head of the house to
his stomach on the concrete.<span> </span>One man
puts a boot between his shoulder blades, another ties his wrists behind his
back.<span> </span>They point a machine gun at his
chest.<span> </span>His wife and children huddle
under the blankets while the house is searched.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListBulletCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; text-indent: 0in;">
“Bad intel.<span> </span>Nothing found.<span> </span>A knife slices the cuffs, releasing the man
as the sun begins to rise that morning.<span>
</span>This is the holy month of Ramadan, and neither the head of the house nor
his entire family will eat or drink anything until sundown.<span> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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“Apologies are made, and the
soldiers load up to head back to the base.<span>
</span>Then the man who moments before had been held at gunpoint approaches the
commander.<span> </span>He places his hand on his own
heart and asks the officer to bring his men back to his home so his family may
prepare them breakfast before they go.” (Kevin Sites, “You’re Heartened by
Humanity,” Men’s Health, May 2013, p. 151)</div>
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<br /></div>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span><b>Story #2:</b> <span> </span>Hannah Smith, a 14-year-old teenager, turned
to a popular social network site in July 2013 because she wanted some reassurance.<span> </span>Like any typical teenager, she was stressed
out from studying for exams, and she was worried about the return of a skin
condition called eczema that made her feel ugly, so she opened up about her
feelings on the site, which allows users to pose questions that others can
respond to, all anonymously.<span> </span>The
responses came quickly.<span> </span>One told Hannah
to cut herself.<span> </span>Another urged her to drink
bleach.<span> </span>One even said, “Do us all a
favor n kill ur self”—and a month later, she did just that.<span> </span>But what detectives found was even more tragic:<span> </span>Hannah had sent the hateful messages to
herself, hoping her friends would rally to her defense—and when no one did, she
figured that everyone else agreed with the comments, and she took her own
life.<span> </span>(“Growing Up Digital,” Deseret
News National Edition, 6-8-14, p. 3)<span> </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Story #3</b> from the 6<sup>th</sup> chapter of 2
Kings (6:8-23):<span> </span>The Syrians are at war
with the Israelites and losing so many battles that the King calls his servants
together and says, “So, who’s the traitor?<span>
</span>Who’s leaking our plans to the enemy?”<span>
</span><span> </span>They assure him they’re not, but
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Meanwhile, at the Israelite camp the next morning, the
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some fresh air, and he discovers they’re surrounded by the Syrian soldiers.<span> </span>He begins to panic, but “Elisha prayed, and
said, Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see.<span> </span>And the Lord opened the eyes of the young
man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of
fire round about Elisha.” (v. 17)</span></span></div>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>That was the spiritual thought a missionary
shared at dinner many years ago, but it wasn’t until years later that I read “the
rest of the memo,” that I read what came next that made it my favorite scripture
of all, because instead of Elisha attacking the Syrian army, he prays for the
Syrian army to be made blind, and then he greets the Syrian general, offers to
help, and explains that they’ve accidentally come to the wrong city, but he’s
willing to guide them the rest of the way.<span>
</span>He then leads them to the Israelite King, where the Israelite army is
waiting for them.<span> </span>Their eyes are then
opened, and they realize they’ve walked into a trap.<span> </span>The King wants to beat them, punish them, and
torture them, but Elisha says, no, don’t beat them, but give them food and
water because they’ve had a long trip and they’re tired and need their nourishment,
and after they’ve had plenty of time to rest and get their strength back, give
them even more food and water as provisions, and then set them free to go
back.<span> </span>You can imagine what the King
thought of this.<span> </span>This is not the typical
way an army treats its POW’s during war time, but Elisha’s been right up to
this point, so they do as he says. The Syrian soldiers return to their King,
tell him what happened—and the Syrian King is so moved…that “the bands of Syria
came no more into the land of Israel.”</span> </span></span></div>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>It’s easy to love people who are just like us
and that we’re comfortable with.<span> </span>That’s
not the test.<span> </span>The Lord asks us to cast
our nets further, to love those who aren’t like us and that we’re uncomfortable
with.<span> </span>In that spirit, I pray that we’ll
all work to build bridges instead of walls with our fellow man, to love them
more and fear them less, to throw off the labels and get to know them on a
first-name basis, to have the empathy to really see and appreciate things from
their point of view, to go beyond mere tolerance to a Christlike love; and to
have the faith that we won’t lose our birthright by loving these people; that our
testimonies will be strengthened, not weakened, by doing this; and that we’ll<span> </span>all come closer to being a Zion people for
it.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. </span></span></span></div>
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Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-26737379954264076212014-10-25T09:14:00.000-07:002014-10-25T09:14:01.047-07:00Comparison: The Thief of Joy<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoF1QSB1vuXE2nobNzZDsppmNwL_cXFHaqagSbNIYmUdnpuWIbZiRCzFZURmMmcmk6jw9AHo4UV6G3iBtsDBa8tW4LTMJAhcnLnBZXbVUyeFUCkD5eZlEl778-A7pJrc1xXR2tgNdkjoc/s1600/b15d7f0e84da56d2794eff8e255f29fe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoF1QSB1vuXE2nobNzZDsppmNwL_cXFHaqagSbNIYmUdnpuWIbZiRCzFZURmMmcmk6jw9AHo4UV6G3iBtsDBa8tW4LTMJAhcnLnBZXbVUyeFUCkD5eZlEl778-A7pJrc1xXR2tgNdkjoc/s1600/b15d7f0e84da56d2794eff8e255f29fe.jpg" /></a></div>
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For much of my life, I allowed myself to live inside what
I call “the imposter syndrome.” When I was an adolescent growing up, I felt
secretly and silently awkward around my straight friends, since life seemed to
be a bit easier for them. I thought that meant they ‘got it’ more than I did. </div>
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When I was in college, I was secretly sure getting into
Stanford was a clerical error—that my spot was supposed to go to someone else.
Others around me seemed happy and confident, like they had all the answers.
When I looked at them, I felt deficient. </div>
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Growing up inside Mormonism as a gay man, I watched the
happy families around me each Sunday and wondered how I fit inside my faith. I
must, I thought, have something terribly wrong with me if there is no plan for
me. </div>
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In each instance (and in many others,) I was the
imposter. What it fostered inside me was a sense of fierce competitiveness. I
had to get better grades, do better at sports, and know more than pretty much
anyone around me. </div>
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That changed when I made a commitment to build a personal
relationship with my Savior. As I embarked upon this path, I met others who
were a lot like me, and through those blossoming friendships and much prayer
and meditation, I learned the true nature of “the imposter syndrome:” comparing
myself to others was driven by pride and fear along with a deep sense of
inadequacy. I judged my insides based on other people’s outsides. </div>
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Today, I know that when I compare, I lose. I may come up
feeling better than someone this time, but I’m sure to feel worse eventually. A
better path for me is keeping my focus where it belongs—on me, my path, and my
relationship with my Savior. The only comparison that has any validity is when
I look at who and where I was in the past, versus who and where I am now. </div>
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When I compare myself to others, I diminish my own
capacity for happiness. I isolate myself from the very people I wish to invite
closer to my heart. I put myself into competition with everyone—including my
Savior. And when I battle my Savior’s will for me, I risk losing the one thing
I really want to win: His love, His guidance, and His friendship. </div>
Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-29207213962865070182014-10-23T16:28:00.001-07:002014-10-23T16:56:24.698-07:00The Hearth both Wide and Warm<span style="font-family: inherit;">On Sunday, October 19, the Washington Park Ward of the Mormon Church held a special Sacrament Meeting, <a href="http://janariess.religionnews.com/2014/10/14/seattle-mormon-leaders-gays-join-us/" target="_blank">officially welcoming Mormons</a> who have felt on the "outside looking in" for any reason. While the message of inclusion was broad in approach, it has special meaning for those of us in the LGBT community.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Taking as its theme <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ezekiel+34%3A16&version=KJV" target="_blank">Ezekiel 34:16</a>, local stake leaders set out this year to "seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and bind up that which was broken" within its boundaries--including LGBT members who have been damaged by past experiences of prejudice at Church. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">This talk was delivered that amazing Sunday, heralded on Facebook as, "The best Sacrament Meeting of the decade." Delivered by Molly Bennion of the Washington Park Ward (and posted here with her permission), it describes how diverse Mormon communities can not only survive--but thrive. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> hope you enjoy it as much as I did. </span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRJvUxt_fGrNG_-_T6Ro8M4HW_6an_utylfA-oB_jr-PT3ieXGqjIoBMnP3U8H5_c-kU9jeMdnOEKE0wmIO6o6n9-5H8TlUcLbemEu9c-aQhJPMBcq24nR_t8Uv9OporunoLbuaYa3ttk/s1600/Corbis-42-61567156.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRJvUxt_fGrNG_-_T6Ro8M4HW_6an_utylfA-oB_jr-PT3ieXGqjIoBMnP3U8H5_c-kU9jeMdnOEKE0wmIO6o6n9-5H8TlUcLbemEu9c-aQhJPMBcq24nR_t8Uv9OporunoLbuaYa3ttk/s1600/Corbis-42-61567156.jpg" height="219" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">We all want to love and be
loved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s our most basic human need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We seek to fill that need by belonging to all
kinds of communities, both large and small.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For instance, as Mormons, we want to love and feel loved in our wards.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sadly, sometimes some of us don’t feel loved
in our congregations. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Instead of cherishing
unique core Mormon doctrines that unite us, too often we focus on less important
doctrinal, cultural and personal differences that prevent us from fulfilling
the Lord’s two greatest commandments: Love him with all our hearts and minds, and
love our neighbors as ourselves. Such a failure of love is tragic in light of
Mormonism’s enlightened teachings on acceptance and inclusiveness.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Two doctrines come quickly
to mind. First, we believe we are all literally brothers and sisters, children of
heavenly parents who created our spirit bodies long before our earthly births.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can you imagine how different the ward, let
alone the world, could be if we all truly believed and treated one another
other as <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>literal brothers and sisters?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">A second unusual core
doctrine is that of God’s grace as a free gift to all humankind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For almost 400 years after Christ, Christians
believed that God offers His grace, His love, His Son’s atonement to every
single person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was St. Augustine who
taught that God’s grace is not given to all but to only some—and that there was
no way to know to whom God gave this precious gift.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Luther and Calvin, two
great Protestant reformers, extended Augustine’s false teaching during the
Reformation and it has dominated the Christian world ever since. It was Joseph
Smith, our Mormon founder, who restored Christ’s original teaching—that God’s
grace and gifts are available to all His children. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">The Church I want to
attend is a Mormon Church whose meetings I can leave as though I were walking
from this Sara Teasdale poem, “<i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Grace Before Sleep:”</span></i><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></i></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“How can our minds and bodies
be grateful enough that we have spent, </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Here in this generous room, this
evening of content? </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Each one of us has walked
through storm and fled the wolves along the road; </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">But here the hearth is wide
and warm.”</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">We all walk through storms
and flee wolves and then come together, in this generous room, and in this
Church. I want to leave the storms and the wolves behind and gather with loving
brothers and sisters at a hearth, nourishing both to mind and body, wide and warm
enough to welcome anyone who would like to deepen their spiritual strength among
us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">That’s my litmus test.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I simply want to sit in this room with anyone
who is here to deepen their spiritual life, regardless of the storms and wolves
they’ve encountered along their way.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A good friend sent me
this quotation from Sue Bergin, a new Relief Society President in her ward in
Orem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s right, Orem, Utah—and what she said in her first Relief Society lesson may surprise you.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfrbjrrLHC5OQ8pvEazwG-ExiZjOAzjxkQOYF6ik95SijgUlntwWUJekypoweHiZ6hM9BYEdYtP_0ot7KuJ8uqIPoRSgoYb0u0Kxk7IzQxgoCNOyVEcPqdW0kVl5xqUQCdB3wt9LjwyLA/s1600/Corbis-42-16485221.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfrbjrrLHC5OQ8pvEazwG-ExiZjOAzjxkQOYF6ik95SijgUlntwWUJekypoweHiZ6hM9BYEdYtP_0ot7KuJ8uqIPoRSgoYb0u0Kxk7IzQxgoCNOyVEcPqdW0kVl5xqUQCdB3wt9LjwyLA/s1600/Corbis-42-16485221.jpg" height="320" width="254" /></a></div>
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<i><span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"I don't care if
you smoke, drink, abuse substances, are unchaste, wear pants to church, hate
relief society, don't sustain church leaders, don't have a
testimony, have a weak testimony, wear tank tops, don't know if you
believe Joseph Smith was a prophet, have had an abortion, don't love your
husband, don't like being a mother, think women should have the priesthood, are
LGBT, don't know if you believe in God, don't relate to Jesus Christ, don't
want to go to the temple, wonder about polygamy--you belong here. <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">You belong here.</span> We need you and
you need us." </span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Of course, Sister
Bergin’s list is not complete; I could add more issues, many of them my own. You
may have yours as well, but nonetheless you get the point. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Of course, such an
inclusive, healing community doesn’t just happen. Just because we say it once doesn’t
make it reality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So how does it happen? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Community has been on
my mind recently as I’ve been developing a new community and spending time with
a treasured old one. Last Sunday, my husband Roy and I were in New York City
with four other couples. We originally met 44 years ago, when the men were all
classmates in business school, and we’ve met every few years since.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were all married then, and are still
married to the same spouses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All ten of us
are very different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We live in all
corners of the country. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are actively
Jewish, not so actively Jewish; actively Christian, and not so actively Christian.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are politically and socially liberal, and
conservative. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of us have worked at
very different endeavors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One couple is
much wealthier, and one couple much less wealthy than the rest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yet, no matter how long it’s been since
our last gathering, we fall into each other’s arms and share our deepest
secrets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This year we five
women talked about why our little community works.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We concluded that it is because we trust each
other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We trust each other not to judge,
and not to seek to control or change one another. We trust each other not to be
arrogant or competitive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In short, we trust and love each other enough
to feel free to be our authentic selves with one another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No community thrives if its members offer less
than their authentic selves, or withhold their essential generosity and love. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In this small
community of friends, we do not fear that what we say will be interpreted with
less than the most generous interpretation. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me give you an example of what I
mean.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I say to my granddaughter,
Catherine, “You’ve never looked prettier,” she won’t take that as a negative
statement on how she’s looked previously. She’ll know I’m saying “You look
great,” not feeling that what I am saying is, “In the past you’ve looked pretty
ugly.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWAKL-oAD4Lik-8UDqZusagM_DXO61fo5JyGMVX9GHnYqMJ1sWstYZzPcK5E7fWsmWjU-mJIGSBdgx_nAqNeAQKsUYdkIhJQm3GNJwWMwsFSfkW_ypFD_phAB38PWdAGHvBXhqxs4F_So/s1600/Corbis-42-26128732.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWAKL-oAD4Lik-8UDqZusagM_DXO61fo5JyGMVX9GHnYqMJ1sWstYZzPcK5E7fWsmWjU-mJIGSBdgx_nAqNeAQKsUYdkIhJQm3GNJwWMwsFSfkW_ypFD_phAB38PWdAGHvBXhqxs4F_So/s1600/Corbis-42-26128732.jpg" height="320" width="116" /></a><span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And, if her sisters
hear me say Catherine looks pretty, they will not think “Why didn’t Grandma say
I never looked prettier?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Doesn’t she
think I look good?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, they all trust I
love them dearly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They know while I
just spoke to Catherine, I could have said the same thing to any of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They interpret what I say generously, with
the most positive connotation, because they know how much I love them, and they
trust me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Our little community
of ten old friends also sacrifices for our joint relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Meeting is expensive, in both time and
money.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each gathering is usually quite
inconvenient for at least some of us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes
one of us needs more listening ears, and others must forego their fair share of
time in the spotlight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A Mormon Church community
is similar in that it asks us to serve and bless, as we are simultaneously served
and blessed. It is expensive in both time and money.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We each must give to the community to get
anything meaningful in return. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Visiting Teaching and
Home Teaching are good examples of this. These programs are not about numbers,
or even duty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are about widening
and warming the hearth. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’ve been trying to
build a new community among old friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Over the last 18 months, I chaired a dinner dance for my high school’s fifty-year
reunion. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">There were 736 of us
in 1964.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Originally bound only as Lewis
and Clark Tigers, many of us have forged a new community which is likely to
warm us for the rest of our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To encourage
many to come to the reunion, I posted on our website something Garrison Keillor
wrote in a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">National Geographic</i> cover story
last February.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The piece was titled
“Coming Home” and talked about his decision to return to Minnesota. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It also teaches us what makes communities
work.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Keillor writes:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">“I come home and feel so
well understood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I almost don't have to say
a word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was not a good person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have yelled at my children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I neglected my parents and was disloyal to
loved ones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have offended righteous
people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People around here know all this
about me, and yet they still smile and say hello, and so every day I feel
forgiven.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ask me if it's a good place to
live, and I don't know--that's real estate talk--but forgiveness and understanding,
that's a beautiful combination."</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">The trust that underpins
healthy communities requires forgiveness and understanding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The forgiveness starts with refusing to be offended
in the first place;<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>we don’t have to get permission to forgive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can carry interpreting what others say
generously to a new level, and we can let irritation roll off our backs. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqKeneLb70PQavlJuxFQFdKk75p6cwHBBfxph_l-wNtaotDBehWZ5rlEtM5Vrek3gPftPH4g1cIF57go5Zwkr5tsFLiOre05Sn3_oiY-sk3ZzL7Y1d-ur1hAKioPiwHaNDx2K5EIzoq94/s1600/Corbis-42-36903691.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqKeneLb70PQavlJuxFQFdKk75p6cwHBBfxph_l-wNtaotDBehWZ5rlEtM5Vrek3gPftPH4g1cIF57go5Zwkr5tsFLiOre05Sn3_oiY-sk3ZzL7Y1d-ur1hAKioPiwHaNDx2K5EIzoq94/s1600/Corbis-42-36903691.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">And if we have been
offended, we can forgive—not for the sake of someone who has treated us poorly,
but for our own sakes, to stop the canker of pain and anger in our souls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Forgiveness demands that we decide we have
our hands full working on our own salvation. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">My own patriarchal blessing warns
me,<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a> “The cleansing of the soul takes time.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m spending so much time cleansing my own
soul, I figure I just don’t have time to cleanse yours, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Forgiveness smiles, and
says hello. And if we can live this kind of forgiveness, we can use our energy
to try to understand each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then we
can trust and love without judgment, control or arrogance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And only then we can have a healthy,
satisfying community of Saints. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Brothers and sisters—my literal
brothers and sisters—Joseph Smith was right. God offers His grace to each of us
equally and always, whether we are reaching for Him or turning our backs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Knowing that, together we can create a
hearth both wide and warm, a generous room for those fleeing the storms and
wolves of life, whatever they may be. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Together, we can do better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Together, we must do better.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div id="stcpDiv" style="left: -1988px; position: absolute; top: -1999px;">
Taking as its theme <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ezekiel+34%3A16&version=KJV" target="_blank">Ezekiel 34:16</a>,
stake leaders set out this year to “seek that which was lost, and bring
again that which was driven away, and bind up that which was broken”
within its boundaries.<br />
That includes gay members who have been damaged by past experiences of prejudice at church.<br />
- See more at: http://janariess.religionnews.com/2014/10/14/seattle-mormon-leaders-gays-join-us/#sthash.W9Q8pDgw.dpuf</div>
<div id="stcpDiv" style="left: -1988px; position: absolute; top: -1999px;">
Taking as its theme <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ezekiel+34%3A16&version=KJV" target="_blank">Ezekiel 34:16</a>,
stake leaders set out this year to “seek that which was lost, and bring
again that which was driven away, and bind up that which was broken”
within its boundaries.<br />
That includes gay members who have been damaged by past experiences of prejudice at church.<br />
- See more at: http://janariess.religionnews.com/2014/10/14/seattle-mormon-leaders-gays-join-us/#sthash.W9Q8pDgw.dpuf</div>
Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com54tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-69182800605794410792014-09-28T11:43:00.000-07:002014-09-28T11:43:03.777-07:00Happy Birthday, Carol Lynn Pearson<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaaUNGvooEQNZRiWb2metNZMbw2_18q5BOCzJgHj-hkAYVP2PK8zxJ85C9a1ahyWqzPxWMvzW6kIg4HOsXe1Jfz6xNEJArXqaxWhYM8dQxT76Ja47EbPwgz6aU18DWsTSuMduxzPTiB3E/s1600/profile+pic+30-1+high+res.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaaUNGvooEQNZRiWb2metNZMbw2_18q5BOCzJgHj-hkAYVP2PK8zxJ85C9a1ahyWqzPxWMvzW6kIg4HOsXe1Jfz6xNEJArXqaxWhYM8dQxT76Ja47EbPwgz6aU18DWsTSuMduxzPTiB3E/s1600/profile+pic+30-1+high+res.jpg" height="268" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
This weekend we celebrate the birthday of Carol Lynn Pearson--kind of our Mormon "Grande Dame" when it comes to finding space inside our faith for people who feel on 'the outside looking in.' Well, that's who she is in my eyes, anyway. And I love her a ton. </div>
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This is the story of how I met Carol Lynn. I guess you could say she was kind of the starting point for me for my work inside the faith to reach out to others like me, and all who don't quite fit the imagined Mormon mold. </div>
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Enjoy. </div>
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A few years back when I was attending the Oakland First
Ward, someone handed me a book in Sacrament Meeting—it was “I Love You, Goodbye,”by
Carol Lynn Pearson. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t know what
to say at first— while I wasn’t in the closet anymore (I was happily living a
great Mormon life: partnered, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>active in
Church and teaching Sunday School) I also wasn’t as “out” as I am today. But I
took the book gratefully, and I read it. </div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Throughout my
adult life, I’d ravenously read any books or articles that talked about the
church and homosexuality—they had, for the most part, left me horribly
depressed. But this one was different. Yes, the story was sad—tragic even. But
in the honesty and candor I also found something else: hope. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></div>
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As I poured through the pages something within me
stirred. It was as if someone was turning a key to a box inside my head, and in
the box was this simple knowledge that my story—like the one I was reading—had
healing power, and perhaps, maybe, it was time to share it. </div>
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I was inspired to take action, but had no idea where to
begin. On a whim, <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">I went to Google and
typed in Carol Lynn’s name. Most of the references that came up were commentary
on her work—and not all of it good, I might mention. It became clear very early
on that this woman was not short of detractors of her perspective and her work.
Yet, I remained undaunted and finally stumbled upon a website that looked to be
a legitimate page of hers. </span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">I scoured the
page for an email address, and found one. Without really planning out what I
was going to say, I dropped her an email. I wish I’d saved a copy of it—it was
nothing short of me pretty much clumsily throwing my story down in a few short
paragraphs along with my then-sketchy ideas of how I might make this come to
life when I chose to share it with others. I sent the email, and honestly
expected that to be the end of things. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Within less than
an hour, there was a response in my inbox. “I assume you live in San
Francsico,” she said. “If that’s the case, what are you doing Tuesday
afternoon?” To say that I was stunned would be an understatement. Not only did
this woman respond back, but she’d invited me out to her home to talk in person
about my experience and how I might bring it to life to help others who muddle
through this thing called “gay Mormonism.” </span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">As I drove out
of the city and got closer to her home, my palms began to sweat on the steering
wheel. I was, admittedly, a little star-struck. Here I was, just a normal guy
with no real published author credibility being invited to this famous author’s
home! In my mind’s eye, I imagined her to have the commanding presence of Meryl
Streep in “The Devil Wore Prada,” only much more kind and benevolent. I
envisioned being invited onto a back patio with sweeping views of Mount Diablo
and being served small sandwiches with the crust cut off by what I was sure
would be her ample house staff. I knew, in that moment, my life course could
very well be altered. And it was—but not in the way I expected at all. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicTb56k1LFqrH205aTu_BvwfwW-6Lv2F3tctQdwIbCuKOxTBxhycqV7BZ6ouSHGHb1oxDZum0Gq2jXxGb69Nvn_cOdXoQfN5eYnclAYqBEdbD6g1BkAt1zCE5Bgh6ayWNs0t9YrXmnbN4/s1600/PearsonCarolLynn.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicTb56k1LFqrH205aTu_BvwfwW-6Lv2F3tctQdwIbCuKOxTBxhycqV7BZ6ouSHGHb1oxDZum0Gq2jXxGb69Nvn_cOdXoQfN5eYnclAYqBEdbD6g1BkAt1zCE5Bgh6ayWNs0t9YrXmnbN4/s1600/PearsonCarolLynn.gif" height="216" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">I drove up to
the upper-middle class home, and before I even had the key out of the ignition,
out ran Carol Lynn from the front door—arms outstretched to greet me. She was a
wiry framed, small woman with a bright shock of curly white hair that encircled
her head like a halo. Her clothes were hiking clothes—cargo shorts, a tee
shirt, and walking shoes. And her hug, deep and tender, was as genuine as her
appearance. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">“I would imagine
you have to use the restroom after that drive!” she said, once we’d exchanged
greetings. I smiled wryly, feeling a little awkward about my first exchange
with somewhat of a literary hero to be about the rather small size of my
bladder, but I agreed. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">She walked me
into the house, “The bathroom is over to the left, help yourself—and get a
glass of water from the kitchen, because I am taking you on a hike!” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">The first thing
that struck me when I walked in the door was not that I was some sweeping
palatial estate of the rich and famous—I was in a </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mormon home.</i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"> For those of
you who have been in one—or grew up in one—you’ll know exactly what I mean. Front
and center in the living room was a grand piano, since music played such a
critical role in the homes and lives of Mormons. The furniture was well loved
and well worn, and it was clear it had welcomed guests and family to this home
for years. The walls were cluttered not with dazzling self portraits of the
author or original works of art, but with frame after frame of family photos of
all different shapes and sizes—some new, some faded—but clearly a shrine to a
family that loved one another and called this place home. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">But what struck
me most about the house was the </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">smell.</i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"> Again, for those of you who grew up Mormon
or had friends who did, you’ll know exactly what I am talking about. It was
food—good food, homemade food, the kind of stuff relegated to June Cleaver and
Mormon Mom’s. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Looking back, I
think the truth of the matter is I </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">had</i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"> walked into a palace. I had walked into a
palace that celebrated the lives, the love, and the talents of the Pearson
family. And I was more honored to be there than if I had stepped into the Taj Mahal
itself. You see, Carol Lynn had not just invited me into her home, but by extension,
she’d also invited me into her heart—and the heart of her family. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">The hike
happened, as promised, and it was indeed an arduous one. I expected some easy
stroll along side a creek bed, and Carol Lynn surprised me once more. She took
me directly to the top of Mount Diablo—and without much rest for breathing, I
might add. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Along the way I
shared my story, and she shared more of hers. At the top of the mountain we
stopped, and she asked me to join in her ritual of blessing mother earth—I
heartily agreed, but didn’t really know what to do—but that wasn’t a problem. She
turned and pointed me in each direction and told me exactly what words to
speak. Here we were, two Mormons—albeit unorthodox ones—at the top of Mount
Diablo, offering<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a non-traditional
blessing to the whole earth, without regard to specific faith—other than faith
in our Creator. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">As we walked the
path home, I spoke more of my story, and finally of my fear. My fear, you see,
was that of retribution. I loved my church, and I’d worked hard to eke out a
quiet, little corner in the Bay Area where I could openly gay to a point, and
still enjoy all the blessings that a straight member would elsewhere. My fear,
I told Carol Lynn, was that I would come out both in print and in person, and
then would be excommunicated for my honesty. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">She stopped in
her tracks, and looked at me for a moment, and didn’t speak right away. Then she
shielded her eyes from the sun with her hands, and made direct (and rather
piercing, I might add) eye contact. “Do what is right. Let the consequence
follow. That is my advice to you.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBTrDu1RPYkLjtU3vmjRea8RSlPPAs6bCY7KXjZq86F5R-QnLHIz5vIHSRpOFPLW06H4ycSR0m6E-N4APHPT10cBpKmVTKY5tAnlTs5sl2pnfilVhzAKicBYSbzOm4isKhUaNdq4nP2-s/s1600/me+and+CLP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBTrDu1RPYkLjtU3vmjRea8RSlPPAs6bCY7KXjZq86F5R-QnLHIz5vIHSRpOFPLW06H4ycSR0m6E-N4APHPT10cBpKmVTKY5tAnlTs5sl2pnfilVhzAKicBYSbzOm4isKhUaNdq4nP2-s/s1600/me+and+CLP.jpg" height="292" width="320" /></a><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">When she spoke,
I thought of the chorus from the Mormon hymn she’d referenced:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Do what is
right; let the consequence follow.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Battle for
freedom in spirit and might;</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">And with stout
hearts look ye forth to tomorrow; </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">God will protect
you; then do what is right. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
I knew I must begin. </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
For most of my life, I felt like I was a man with
a foot in two different worlds—and that I belonged in neither. But as I have
grown through this work—and in my testimony, I remain a man with a foot in two
different worlds.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
And I belong in both. </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Thank you, Carol Lynn. And Happy Birthday. </div>
Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-66750367180262039652014-09-17T07:37:00.000-07:002014-09-17T07:37:52.641-07:00It's About Love--Not Rancor<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm_AUmPnSHs0ia_xm6Xql_4QAk6PUI110fAy90lI7ObtCCS5OW9KD3g0sqG16Jpt1AHSWECjDvLQUhef45z9IFTm3naZc8vlegn1ICmqK_cG3TKQy6X2cvHrRuJxHlg5RDCjrwgMHiGCE/s1600/photo+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC3eocD_VGY6DclNrwK4Ym6CJ_LCMlmKOFWBNT95hYB7TTc2jfeQXQnbSkic1lCxT-07hqRBLHx0YLbIdA6A9NswqlBxNMrmenn3KLZvgqPwfbGA0pKExqOItiNf0WXzLIK0CmL9CcTF0/s1600/10649874_10203558249931235_262654929889994669_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC3eocD_VGY6DclNrwK4Ym6CJ_LCMlmKOFWBNT95hYB7TTc2jfeQXQnbSkic1lCxT-07hqRBLHx0YLbIdA6A9NswqlBxNMrmenn3KLZvgqPwfbGA0pKExqOItiNf0WXzLIK0CmL9CcTF0/s1600/10649874_10203558249931235_262654929889994669_n.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a> Yesterday, <a href="http://www.religionnews.com/2014/09/15/mormons-embrace-social-media-push-back-official-church-teachings/" target="_blank">an article was published on Religion News Service (RNS)</a> about an event we held in Berkeley on September 7th. The article was subsequently picked up by Washington Post, Huffington Post and a few others.<br />
<br />
In it, the journalist talked about the evening itself as well as looking at how social media has fostered change in the hearts and minds of Mormons on topics like our LGBT brothers and sisters.<br />
<br />
While I appreciate the coverage, I regret the positioning. <br />
<br />
This isn't really about pushing back on Church teaching,
our leadership, or our doctrine. This is about meeting people where they're at,
and helping create a Mormon culture where everyone is welcome, just as they
are--a culture our Savior Himself would foster. A more accurate headline would
be, "Mormons use social media to build connectedness and community inside
a faith that views them as 'different."<br />
<br />
We're not the rebels the headline
might believe some to think. We're simply the face of cultural change, and are
engaged in this effort because we love our Savior, we love our fellow Mormons,
and we love our Church--and we want us to be better.<br />
<br />
This isn't about rancor.
It's about love.Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-72158670647491964862014-09-10T12:59:00.001-07:002014-09-10T12:59:34.749-07:00A Gospel of Attraction<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7NPT6LNeOmOdzTrIKIBNYKDtqlkV5jfJLt30wkqLgq3zATZtX7oNcfc07dGEDgmCcO7s_jstmf2us-ZODYEMhxzGSpHgKZzYvUN2W742riY8n_nwlmVhYqh6aJtZxeqKGAoAmvgMTFR4/s1600/Corbis-42-42735255.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7NPT6LNeOmOdzTrIKIBNYKDtqlkV5jfJLt30wkqLgq3zATZtX7oNcfc07dGEDgmCcO7s_jstmf2us-ZODYEMhxzGSpHgKZzYvUN2W742riY8n_nwlmVhYqh6aJtZxeqKGAoAmvgMTFR4/s1600/Corbis-42-42735255.jpg" height="320" width="212" /></a></div>
I spend a fair amount of time at the gym. Working out has become part of my spiritual practice for me--it's an almost meditative state where I can simply "be" in my own body, and when I use my earphones I can play music that helps me feel insulated and private even when I'm in a room full of other people. I find as I exercise my body, my thoughts become more distinct, my motives become more clear, and I am better able to respond kindly to those around me because I am more centered. <br /><br />Once in awhile, I get interrupted by well-meaning personal trainers offering advice on technique and form when I'm working out. Sometimes they're right, but sometimes they're not. Either way, I'm invariably surprised when someone approaches me and shares what they see to be the definitive right answer to a question I've never asked them. I can understand their motives, because once upon a time I, too, was someone who was certain I had the right answer for everyone's problems and I was compelled to share that right away! Suffice to say, my certainty and need to be right didn't always score me a lot of points with the humans around me. One thing I learned is unsolicited advice is seldom welcome. <br /><br />Sometimes the same thing is true of those of us inside faith communities, including Mormonism. Based on fierce certainty that our way is the right way, and our God is the right God, we can feel entitled to share our enlightenment with those around us without considering the question, "Did they ask?"<br /><br />What works better for me today is striving to embody the peace and mindfulness I get from my spiritual practice and staying close to my Savior--while allowing others the dignity to walk their own path. Sometimes it means people will ask my opinion about things of a spiritual nature or beyond, and sometimes not. Either way, for me, it's more like living a gospel of attraction instead of a gospel of promotion. After all, I try to look to my Savior in all things, and one of His mantras was, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." It certainly wasn't, "I stand at the door and shout and will continue until you open up and do things my way, and if you don't open it I'll shout even louder!!" <br /><br />When I'm at my best--meaning I'm really putting the principles of my spiritual practice into my actions, words, and deeds--I'm a lot better equipped to deliver the message my Savior would have me deliver, and I'm pretty certain He'll bring the people into my life who may learn from me--and me from them. <br /><br />I continue to learn to be honest with myself. I will not use my spiritual practice as an excuse to change others or tell them how to live. They have a Savior too, and it's not me. Trying to control how other people think and act disrupts my spiritual center and moves me away from my Savior. Instead, I strive to promptly admit my missteps and then put the focus back where it belongs: on me and my connectedness with my Savior.<br /><br />Besides, I'm starting to believe that how I respond to someone's lack of interest in any message I might deliver is a far more powerful demonstration of my commitment to my Savior than any lengthy (and unasked for) testimony I could deliver. <br /><br />Today, I will strive to bring my spiritual practice to life in my thoughts, words, and deeds--and allow others the dignity to walk their paths without my interference. Only when my focus is on my own spiritual growth can I genuinely be who my Savior wants me to be--for myself or anyone else. Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-13756845062662341422014-08-30T10:47:00.000-07:002014-08-30T12:40:37.064-07:00What question have you been asking God lately?<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMVoOoX1BkzSTzB67_bJl8fsttG41IeEyjtNPSK00hdvardh-5sFqJSkr2-QjQ4bqtuoLsdduQXcwBURyJwKODAeo4mL3dR26xf2D6zTEP8FDQztTYxx6eTAyD-TXHtz-6m7d7I8FyVzI/s1600/Corbis-42-24322906.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMVoOoX1BkzSTzB67_bJl8fsttG41IeEyjtNPSK00hdvardh-5sFqJSkr2-QjQ4bqtuoLsdduQXcwBURyJwKODAeo4mL3dR26xf2D6zTEP8FDQztTYxx6eTAyD-TXHtz-6m7d7I8FyVzI/s1600/Corbis-42-24322906.jpg" height="320" width="212" /></a>There's a small group of interfaith friends I
meet with once a month on a casual basis. It's been a great experience
to learn about other faiths, and the stories behind the individual paths
of the participants--ranging from clergy to new members--are
fascinating to hear. What's been most remarkable, I think, is it's
become clear that the actual 'brand' of faith matters less than the God
we find there. Recently, at one of our meetings, a new participant asked
a pretty proactive question: What question have you been asking God
lately?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
It was a small group, so we each took a turn and
talked a bit about what's been on our mind and how we've pulled God into
our daily lives and concerns. I will admit, I'm a pretty deeply
spiritual person and this was a tough one for me--I talk to my Savior
constantly throughout the day and pull Him in on virtually everything.
Rather than always being formal, my communication with Him is
spontaneous and authentic. Sometimes I imagine He views me as one of
those over-excited kids tugging at the shirt sleeves of a parent and
jumping up and down while I do it. But I love my Savior, and I love
having Him involved in my life, on every level--and I know He meets me
where I am. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
But what question was I asking Him? That was
tougher. So when it was my turn, with my usual dry sense of humor, I
responded with, "The question I've been asking my Savior is, 'When are
we going to start doing things my way?" Of course, it generated a
chuckle around the table and it was meant to do so. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Humor
aside, there was a kernel of truth here. Once upon a time, my prayers
were very much centered on getting my way and getting other people to
change. "Please let my Dad figure this out so he will love me again," or
"Show Mom that I am right!" were common refrains. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Over
time, and by developing a solid spiritual practice that has led me to a
deeper understanding of my Savior, my prayers have changed. I have come
to believe that changing other people isn't my job--changing myself,
however, is.<br />
<br />
</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
The <a href="http://www.cptryon.org/prayer/special/serenity.html" target="_blank">serenity prayer</a> has been a good
guide post for me. Now, while I still share at great lengths about what
worries and troubles me, I bring my Savior my joy and gratitude, as
well. Today, my prayers are centered around what I'm supposed to learn,
accept, or change within myself in any given situation. They've become about
who my Savior wants me to be, and often include a request to grant me
enough humility to bring my will into alignment with His. I pray for the
wisdom to know the difference between my path and the paths of my
fellows, and the courage to follow through with what I learn.
Finally--and this is especially important for me--for those with whom
I'm frustrated or angry, I pray that they be granted all the love,
serenity, and peace I want for myself. After all, each of my brothers and sisters deserves that. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
My Savior did finally start answering my prayers--but not until I stopped telling Him what to do. Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-74260294130798780902014-08-26T09:00:00.000-07:002014-08-26T11:34:06.195-07:00"You Can Be Angry at Someone (or Something) You Love..."<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"You can be angry at someone (or something) you love,
and it doesn't always mean the relationship is over." </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Years ago, a wise friend shared this with me and when I
heard it, I think I stared back at her for a good 90 seconds before I even
blinked. It was as if someone stated the painfully obvious that I knew deep
down was true, but had never heard verbalized my entire life--let alone seen
someone practice it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sure, I got it intellectually--anger isn't the end of everything.
But the world I lived in never dealt with anger directly or in a healthy way:
it was stuffed, covered up, or denied wholesale until it festered right into a
resentment, which of course could leap out at any time and punish the offender
(who seldom had any idea why they were being punished), with harsh words or any
icy freeze-out. This kind of behavior was not only true in my family, but also
deeply entrenched into much of my Mormon culture where being "nice"
seemed to be valued much more than being "genuine." </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It took me a long time to understand how to come to grips
with the truth of my friend's statement. And, it took me a long time to
understand how to deal with my anger in a healthy way, and learn that it's not
really "nice" at all to be angry with someone and not be honest about
it, and instead carry resentments around with me like a giant bag of rocks. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Today I recognize I have a choice when
dealing with anger. I also recognize that "anger" is only one letter
short of "danger," and when I don't deal with anger appropriately it
often leads me in a hazardous direction where I lose my spiritual center. That
one-letter, one-second choice between managing my anger or letting my anger
manage me often means the difference between creating cavernous gaps in my
relationships, or creating connections with those around me based on honesty,
respect, and dignity for both of us. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYkjqCiNwGn16en-k0w2GUQPEnOwoScG6GSy_3P7vDechN7-0s81FCt4B0O6tM_pIoXt21VztKzb9QZ-wjzs40wK2wplG9YWGIlsb2Xm7KmYm07RVnX_McDGbHKr6Oq1-VaIeHtExWZAI/s1600/Corbis-42-30598592.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYkjqCiNwGn16en-k0w2GUQPEnOwoScG6GSy_3P7vDechN7-0s81FCt4B0O6tM_pIoXt21VztKzb9QZ-wjzs40wK2wplG9YWGIlsb2Xm7KmYm07RVnX_McDGbHKr6Oq1-VaIeHtExWZAI/s1600/Corbis-42-30598592.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As an openly gay Mormon--and someone who stands as my
authentic self in both communities--I get many opportunities to learn how to
manage my anger. When I'm faced with anger, I can choose to detach and think
before I react. Maybe I choose to remove myself from the situation; perhaps I
choose to respond with a simple statement like, "You might be right"
to avoid a pointless argument; or I can choose to directly tell another person
I feel uncomfortable or angry with their behavior and say what I mean, without
being mean when I say it. Then, if I need to, I can choose to process my feelings
with a safe and trusted friend in confidence, put the situation in my God Box
and give it to my Savior, or beat the heck out of my pillow with a whiffle bat.
I can even choose to do all three. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Everything about maintaining my
spiritual center begins and ends with me and the choices I make. When I choose
to practice managing my anger in a healthy way, I don't have to carry
resentments around like a heavy bag of stones, and I am free to live my life
peacefully and with dignity--and allow others the privilege of doing the same. </span></div>
Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-11887580249190164402014-01-04T13:02:00.000-08:002014-01-04T13:02:42.017-08:00Things That You Must ExplainToday, I'm sharing a guest post written by a good friend of mine, Matt Mosman. Matt has an interesting story himself: straight, multi-generational Mormon, honorably served a mission and in many callings within the Mormon Church, and married to a non-member (who is perhaps among the most fantastic humans I know).<br />
<br />
Matt and I met when I took my calling as the openly gay executive secretary in the Bishopric in San Francisco almost three years ago. We became fast friends--he's quick to laugh, and quick to stand up for anyone who is unjustly placed in the role of the underdog.<br />
<br />
He's now--whether he likes it or not--a solid part of my inner circle. A wise, articulate, intelligent and kind man I am proud to know. Here, he shares his thoughts around some of the sometimes questionable logic used against marriage equality. I asked him before I shared this, "Are you worried you will offend some by standing up for marriage equality?" His response was classic Matt Mosman: "I'm not even advocating for marriage equality here. I'm simply advocating for sound logic."<br />
<br />
And that he does.<br />
<br />
___________________________________________________________<br />
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As I’ve become involved in offering support for LGBT rights and
for LGBT acceptance within the LDS community, a few things have really stood
out to me as striking crimes against basic logic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to take a few paragraphs here to
outline places where LGBT people should not have to defend themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In most cases, those who oppose them do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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Note here that I am not attempting to refute an exhaustive list
of anti-gay rhetoric.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rather, I’m
sticking only to flaws of logic: those notions, often now memes, that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fail</i> on the level of basic
structure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To wit:</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The claim that being
LGBT is a choice.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a classic
example of the logical fallacy called “Shifting the Burden of Proof.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It goes like this: I am a rather tall person,
at 6’4”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I look over a wall or
fence and describe a view that is obscured from normal-sized people, the onus
is not on me to prove myself correct.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
am the one looking on the sight; when I say that the neighbor’s backyard has a
lemon tree, I am assumed to be correct unless someone can demonstrate that I am
not by getting their own view beyond the fence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>To suggest that I am the one who must prove that there is a lemon tree
in the yard, and not the person who cannot see past the fence, is shifting the
burden of proof.</div>
<div class="normal">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal">
So why, when a person who is gay explains to us that this is
the way that they have felt for as long as they can remember feeling anything,
do other people suggest that they are wrong about that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The only person on earth with a view into the
person’s mind is the person himself (or herself); no one else could possibly
make a sensible claim to know better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Somehow the burden of proof has shifted to the wrong party.</div>
<div class="normal">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal">
The most logical thing to do would be to simply ask individual
LGBT people what their experience was with respect to having experienced a
moment of “choice,” or not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When someone
claims to have been the way they are for as long as they can remember, we
should simply believe them -- the same way we believe heterosexual people who
make the same claim.</div>
<div class="normal">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal">
The other flaw we often see in this argument is called the
“argument from incredulity,” which takes the form of something like “I cannot
imagine x to be true, therefore it must not be true.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many religious folks simply have difficulty
reconciling the notion that God created LGBT people <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">as they are</i> with one or more of their religious beliefs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But of course this is not logical at all --
an inability to reconcile something that is provably true by normal means with
a belief system implies that perhaps the system should bend to accommodate new
truth, instead of its proponents simply denying provable truth.</div>
<div class="normal">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The idea that being LGBT
is somehow a “popular” or “hip” thing to be</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This claim is often related to the “choice”
claim, the idea being that young people are choosing to be gay because it’s
cool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is an idea so irrational and
insane that I hardly know where to start.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The experience of almost every gay person, anywhere in the world, is one
of extreme difficulty and near-constant rejection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Suicide rates and depression are dramatically
higher for LGBT people, which argues rather successfully against the notion
that it is the popular thing to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="normal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1RkKgFryMLN63_t_30mkBLFmgi_g065hklsxbvqu-MOxWfTt5fL7TMDx8EpUPLiQ3m7u_-GBt4fJM1YKm_eAS_417D2ONHKzUWHKanF_LRMg4d4WEa8IUUY-DCLhgEcUYma9_e5ahMJU/s1600/blog2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1RkKgFryMLN63_t_30mkBLFmgi_g065hklsxbvqu-MOxWfTt5fL7TMDx8EpUPLiQ3m7u_-GBt4fJM1YKm_eAS_417D2ONHKzUWHKanF_LRMg4d4WEa8IUUY-DCLhgEcUYma9_e5ahMJU/s320/blog2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="normal">
The absolutely true notion that gay characters are gaining
acceptance on popular television programs does nothing to support the idea that
being LGBT is popular, though it may suggest an increase in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">acceptance</i> (which is quite a different
thing).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It remains true that most
television programs feature exactly zero gay characters, and the fact that it
is newsworthy that “Modern Family” features a gay couple (in which one of the
actors, Eric Stonestreet, is not actually gay) argues <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">against</i> the popularity hypothesis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="normal">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal">
What concerns me here is that I have seen otherwise intelligent
people listen to someone make this bizarre claim and yet nod their heads in
assent without an investigation of the merits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It has become a meme, asserting itself purely through repetition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People who are fairly good at saying, “Now,
wait just a minute here…” to almost anything else are not questioning a claim
that has almost no basis in reality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="normal">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal">
Here, again, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">the burden
of proof is on the claimant</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
person making this assertion cannot simply state it without offering any
reasonable evidence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="normal">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal">
And the proof won’t be there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’ll indulge in my own fallacy by using a sample size of one to
illustrate, but I have to tell this story:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Just a few years ago, I was CEO of a software company here in the San
Francisco Bay Area.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of my company’s
software engineers arrived at work one day with a black eye and a fat lip, and
I asked him how it happened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said he
was just walking to his train stop, and some guys jumped him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“For what?”, I asked, incredulous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The engineer just looked at me like I had two
heads.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s a gay guy, and he thought
the “why” question should have been obvious to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It still happens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A lot.</div>
<div class="normal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8W_lohgDYxe-BvGY3-4G8hyphenhyphenqJZa214_csyEuMgfWM5bHXgrwpiDEQe1Hqn7ubMpcgo07S2E6ArW4QdXxZXcy7kuAvtPIK3zYXhHSQO7Yh8WaAuMznRW-cq8uofGPF2-l5kkv4SntLyao/s1600/blog3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8W_lohgDYxe-BvGY3-4G8hyphenhyphenqJZa214_csyEuMgfWM5bHXgrwpiDEQe1Hqn7ubMpcgo07S2E6ArW4QdXxZXcy7kuAvtPIK3zYXhHSQO7Yh8WaAuMznRW-cq8uofGPF2-l5kkv4SntLyao/s320/blog3.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="normal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The notion that gay
marriage is an “attack” on “traditional marriage.”</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before I even address this, I have to note
for everyone what my brilliant wife, who is not LDS, has pointed out to me on
several occasions: that for Mormons, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">of
all people</i>, to be lecturing others on what is or is not “traditional” in
marriage is a little bit mind-bending.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Which, well...yeah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It really is.</div>
<div class="normal">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal">
This particular idea suffers from multiple fallacies in the
“red herring” category.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Red herring
fallacies attempt to hide a weakness in an argument by drawing attention away
from the real issue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="normal">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal">
This argument is very obviously an appeal to fear, a fact made
clear by the common use of the word “attack.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It becomes difficult for people to evaluate merits when fear is
involved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also, the very use of
“traditional marriage” makes it an appeal to tradition, a form of argument
which places extra value on something being “the way we do things,” ignoring or
diminishing the fact that some traditions are just plain wrong.</div>
<div class="normal">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal">
Were proponents of this line of reasoning to state more
reasonably their objection, it reads (and feels) rather different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would be something like, “In the modern
era in the West, the societal norm for marriage has been one man married to one
woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gay marriage is not that.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Such a statement is absolutely correct, but
it doesn’t carry the fear and (long) tradition heft.</div>
<div class="normal">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal">
Finally: <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Gay marriage is
a slippery slope</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The notion here is
that widespread legal approval of gay marriage will inevitably lead to a series
of dire consequences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Often this ends
with the prediction that the government will eventually force the church to
solemnize gay marriages in its temples.</div>
<div class="normal">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal">
It’s interesting to me that this is put forth as a firm
argument, since the whole concept of a slippery slope is widely considered to
be a logical fallacy (it is also sometimes referred to as the “camel’s nose
fallacy” or the “thin edge of the wedge”).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The reason it is considered fallacious is that it assumes a series of
events that are by no means guaranteed to occur (and in fact most often do not
occur) in order to reach its dire conclusion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="normal">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal">
Sadly, the argument itself has often brought about its own dire
conclusions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our nation went into
Vietnam on a slippery slope argument -- the fall of Vietnam to communism was
supposed to be the first domino in a series that would end up with communism
engulfing all of Asia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A generation of
young men fought and died for that faulty hypothesis.</div>
<div class="normal">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal">
A more useful argument would outline each of the steps and
assign some likelihood to each, in order to accurately assess what might
actually happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since the steps taken
together form a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">conditional probability</i>
(in which you multiply each of the probabilities together to obtain the
likelihood of the result actually occurring), the proposed endgame is almost
always exceptionally unlikely: either a long series of fairly likely steps or
any series that contains even one unlikely step will produce a low-likelihood
result.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A series of five steps, each
with a 70% likelihood of occurring, produces a 16.8% likelihood of reaching the
endgame.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Insert even one term in that
series with a 25% likelihood, and the overall probability drops to 6%.</div>
<div class="normal">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal">
None of this is to say that it is impossible to believe
differently than I do about gay people or about gay marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m certain that there are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">reasonable</i> things that can be said on
each side of these issues.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rather, it is
to say this: that the arguments presented above are each deeply flawed, and if
a person is to use them, they have some fairly serious explaining to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-27698174402833694402013-11-28T13:56:00.000-08:002013-11-28T13:56:14.376-08:00Come Ye Thankful People, ComeA post by my friend Bob Rees, in honor of Thanksgiving. Enjoy. <br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
“Come Ye Thankful
People, Come”</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Robert A. Rees</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirkLAgjSgkUiNzkqK5O1xie_SlZYcmLZTHfOCIS7IUr88aJlOiS7nrKtOjkxMq58yuLdDRdc1ZE-zAZ-kPCIttENk2_km1JStP4341DFzgsX2lLPunarF52xvjWhcJvibQCf8QEjWUk2c/s1600/blog1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirkLAgjSgkUiNzkqK5O1xie_SlZYcmLZTHfOCIS7IUr88aJlOiS7nrKtOjkxMq58yuLdDRdc1ZE-zAZ-kPCIttENk2_km1JStP4341DFzgsX2lLPunarF52xvjWhcJvibQCf8QEjWUk2c/s320/blog1.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That is the title of a Thanksgiving<span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">hymn written in 1844 by<span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Alford" title="Henry Alford"><span style="background: white; color: #0b0080; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Henry Alford</span></a>
which is still sung in many churches today. The imperative, repeated “come”
give the hymn <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the sense of both
invitation and urgency. This is a season of coming together (as families,
groups and congregations) to express appreciation, gratitude and thanksgiving
(related but distinct human emotions).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The Institute of HeartMath in the Santa Cruz Mountains where I worked
for a dozen years has studied gratitude and its associated emotions and their
impact on our minds, bodies,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and
spirits. Here is a summary of their findings: “[When expressing appreciation or
gratitude,] you feel a deep sense of peace and internal balance—you are at
harmony with yourself, with others, and with your larger environment. You
experience increased buoyancy and vitality. Your senses are enlivened—every
aspect of your perceptual experience seems richer, more textured. Surprisingly,
you feel invigorated even when you would usually have felt tired and drained.”
Another way to say this is that expressing appreciation, gratitude and
thankfulness are good for us—physically, emotionally and spiritually. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And yet, we often have to be reminded to be grateful. That
happened to me just this week. I was at Best Buy involved in a long, difficult
phone conversation with a computer repair technician somewhere in the
antipodes. I was irritated, frustrated, and tired. To a woman standing next in
line waiting to be served, I complained, “What a day!” She responded, “But it
is a day.” Immediately, her words changed my perspective. Yes, having any day
(even a difficult one) is better than having no day. Whatever difficulties I
was experiencing, I was alive. I was also immensely blessed, especially in
comparison with the vast majority of humankind, including no doubt the
technician on the other end of the line.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thanksgiving is also a day, a day set apart for expressing
gratitude and thanks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a day when
we remember all of those others who have blessed our lives in some way, who
have given to us beyond the limits of obligation and expectation, who have
given time, patience, and love with grace and generosity and in doing so have
made our lives fuller, richer, safer, and more meaningful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With just a little thought a list of those
who have touched or now touch our lives in some way expands exponentially.
Thus, those for whom we should be grateful are not only those millions who have
sacrificed to make our world as rich, comfortable and safe as it is, but, in
Wordsworth’s expression,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the “<span style="background: white; color: #181818; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">little, nameless unremembered acts of kindness and love” of
which we are daily recipients.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is the nature of gratitude to engender gratitude—in
ourselves and others. Which is to say that gratitude is contagious. That means
that expressing gratitude on Thanksgiving is likely to elicit gratitude in
others—and more gratitude in ourselves beyond Thanksgiving, finding in each day
at least one thing for which we can be grateful. Expressing gratitude also
often leads to our manifesting gratitude beyond words. Feelings of appreciation
and thankfulness often motivate us to do something for others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As John F. Kennedy said, “<a href="http://www.searchquotes.com/quotation/As_we_express_our_gratitude%2C_we_must_never_forget_that_the_highest_appreciation_is_not_to_utter_word/218729/" title="As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."><span class="firstword"><span style="background: white; color: #232323; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">As</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white; color: #232323; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"> </span></span><span style="background: white; color: #232323; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">we express our
gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter
words, but to live by them.</span></a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7XNj344ad0jgxBJUf_SzQZfN7TRlLESRXQnD6IlXejortM0EqQ-fgTdBDoCkXVtR8uZXEQV4z52sQ7CaSQvouvP0kxXTEmKSBvzXdCSYMIgjBHwj_EjHnCe6eZSek47CL76ovQaqERyY/s1600/blog2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7XNj344ad0jgxBJUf_SzQZfN7TRlLESRXQnD6IlXejortM0EqQ-fgTdBDoCkXVtR8uZXEQV4z52sQ7CaSQvouvP0kxXTEmKSBvzXdCSYMIgjBHwj_EjHnCe6eZSek47CL76ovQaqERyY/s320/blog2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of our family rituals is to ask all those sitting around
the Thanksgiving table to name one thing for which they are especially thankful
and then to have a collective prayer of thanksgiving. When I was travelling in
China years ago with a group of American writers,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Barry Lopez said something I have never
forgotten: “An older meaning of ‘to remember’ means to pass something through
our hearts once more.” This Thanksgiving, perhaps as we sit around the table
with friends and relatives we can all take a moment to let some remembrance of
gratitude pass through our hearts again. As the old French proverb puts it, “Gratitude
is the heart’s memory.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Robert A. Rees, Ph.D., a member of<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Marin Interfaith Council Board,<a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a> teaches Mormonism
at UC Berkeley and Graduate Theological Union. He lives in Mill Valley.</div>
Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-34122584949613473042013-11-16T18:08:00.000-08:002013-11-16T18:08:51.276-08:00Salt Lake: We Have a ProblemToday, I share an article written by my friend Bob Rees--about another friend of mine, "Emily." This is a tragic story--for everyone involved, especially for us as a Mormon faith.<br />
<br />
We can do better.<br />
<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Salt</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Lake</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">: We Have a Problem</span></b></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Robert A. Rees</span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzY4Utk017631pv8K5bmaBQrssTmKf5KS7oKRxp6kQysuMi3ruzgnAzmMfjU9zVvXrfsu4xyROuxg6T7Kk6SefFoX6HMfn6o7_kB2QqFCJYZ1jQa8dxD1Oi4HsH6HOkACiHhYJ5mxjuB4/s1600/bobrees.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzY4Utk017631pv8K5bmaBQrssTmKf5KS7oKRxp6kQysuMi3ruzgnAzmMfjU9zVvXrfsu4xyROuxg6T7Kk6SefFoX6HMfn6o7_kB2QqFCJYZ1jQa8dxD1Oi4HsH6HOkACiHhYJ5mxjuB4/s1600/bobrees.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This is a true story; it is also a
sad story; and it is a story that Mormons—leaders and lay members alike--need
to hear.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got a call last week from a woman, I’ll call
her Emily. This is her story.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Emily was raised in a large, Latter-day
Saint family, one with long and strong pioneer roots. Growing up, she was
furiously engaged in the Church, taking seriously its doctrines, standards, and
gospel-centered lifestyle. She was aware from an early age that she felt
differently about girls and women than she did about boys and men, but didn’t
attach any particular significance to this awareness. Starting in elementary
school and lasting into her college years, she had a series of crushes on her
female teachers. She didn’t identify her feelings as gay, but when others made
comments suggesting that there was something inappropriate about the
relationships, even in early elementary school, she felt a deep sense of shame,
a shame she didn’t know the cause of and couldn’t even name. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Wanting to be a good and obedient
Latter-day Saint and believing in the promises that a temple marriage held, she
married a returned missionary when she was nineteen. On the wedding night and
thereafter, she knew something was terribly wrong as she experienced emotional
and sexual intimacy with her husband as repulsive, although she still didn’t
identify as lesbian. In spite of her valiant efforts to be a good, faithful and
loving wife, after a year of marriage, she divorced her husband, feeling that
it was unfair to both of them to continue in such a conflicted, unsatisfying relationship.
Her siblings blamed her for the failure of the marriage as did her husband’s
family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And although it was very
painful, she had prayed and fasted about her decision and felt a deep peace
that it was right because she felt her husband should be loved in the way he
deserved to be—something she knew deep within her that she could never give
him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of attributing the failed
relationship to her being gay, she continued to tell herself that she just
hadn’t met the man who was right for her. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In the following years, her family
kept pressuring her to remarry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Heartbroken,
lonely and full of despair, Emily redoubled her devotion to the gospel. For ten
years, she tried dating other men but the relationships always ended the same
way because she never felt emotionally or physically attracted to these
men.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She threw herself furiously into
school, work, and church service, often spending six or seven hours a week
preparing her weekly gospel doctrine lessons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She knew she was different. Ultimately she began to fear what that
difference was but tried all she could to run from it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She begged God to change her, to make her
like all her women friends who were attracted to men. Experiencing an
existential loneliness, Emily did the only thing she felt was still open to
her—redoubled her efforts to live a righteous, even holy life and turn her life
over completely to God. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">During this period, she sought
numerous blessings at the hands of her bishop and other priesthood holders.
Reflecting on these later, she identified a common theme: all of them assured
her that the Lord wanted her to be who she was. She wasn’t sure she knew what
that meant, but finally accepted it as some kind divine validation of her
identity. Even so, she saw no way to reconcile being a lesbian with being a
Latter-day Saint and, after “crying for months,” made a deliberate and careful
plan to commit suicide. When the night came to act on this decision, she had
what she describes as a profound spiritual experience, one so sacred that she
wouldn’t describe it to me except to say that it was clear that God wanted her
to be who she was as a lesbian even though she didn’t necessarily conclude that
this validation meant a relationship with another woman. Trusting God, she
turned her life completely over to him, assuring him of her willingness to
accept his guidance as she went forward, asking only that he show her the way. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">At age twenty-nine, after this
spiritual confirmation, she acknowledged her identity and orientation as a
lesbian, but when she revealed this to her family, the majority of them became
even more abusive, accusing her of being a deviant, a pedophile, and under the
influence of Satan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They rejected her
and cut her off from family events and forbade her from having a relationship
with their children, her nieces and nephews.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>At the time, she didn’t even know another gay person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">With a family she felt “hated her” and
with no real friends, she once more poured herself into work and Church
activity. Within a year, she met Rose at the place where she worked. Although
not a Latter-day Saint, Rose valued many things about the Church and was in
fact living its standards. Tentative about the relationship, they slowly began
seeing one another but kept their relationship chaste. Emily says that her
prayers were simply, “If I am to be with someone and this is the right person,
please let me know.” After praying this way for a period of time, she says she
heard a distinct voice saying, “You will be with her some day.” Rather than
seeing this as permission to move aggressively ahead with the relationship,
Emily was once again cautious, saying to God in effect, “I leave this completely
in your hands and will accept whatever you desire.” Soon the confirmation came
that this was to be a relationship approved by the heavens.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Wanting to keep her covenants and
abide by gospel principles, Emily and Rose became bonded through a domestic
partnership, the only legal option open to them at the time. Shortly after
doing so and having no idea how it would come to pass, Emily told Rose, “I have
confirmation that you and I will be married within five years.” Rose was
incredulous. Four years later during the 2008 battle over Proposition 8, the California ballot
initiative challenging the constitutionality of same-sex marriage, Emily and
Rose were married during a brief window in which same-sex marriages were legal.
They have now been legally bonded to one another for nearly a decade.
Fortunately, family members who once rejected them are now loving and
supportive.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now for the rest of the story . . .</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Knowing the Mormon Church’s stance on
same-sex couples and same-sex marriage, Emily and Rose have been faithfully
attending another Christian church—as they have done for the entire time
they’ve been together. Like good Latter-day Saints, they have scripture study,
hold family home evenings, regularly fast, and live lives of integrity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because of Emily’s love for the gospel, she
and Rose would periodically attend Sacrament meeting at different wards just so
Emily could re-experience the ambiance of the Church she loves so much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although wanting to attend other meetings, they
avoided them because they knew they wouldn’t be accepted if they answered
questions about who they were. Recently, Emily has felt during her prayers a
strong impression that she and Rose should return to the Church and attend all
meetings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has a deep longing in her
soul is to find fellowship with her brothers and sisters in the Restored Church—and to find a place in a ward
where she and Rose can worship together. They have also spoken of wanting to
start a family and raise their children according to gospel standards in a
Mormon congregation. Knowing how the Church regards their relationship and
fearing what could be a painful experience if their efforts to find fellowship
among Mormons fail, Emily sought the help of several allies in finding a hospitable,
welcoming bishop and congregation.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Through connections, I found several
possibilities in the San Francisco Bay Area where I live and, let’s say, where
Emily and Rose live. Believing Emily and Rose would get a warm reception from a
couple of bishops others had recommended, I suggested that Emily contact
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She did so for one and had an ally
help contact the other one and reported the following:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The first bishop, a university professor, told Emily that she
and Rose would be welcome in his ward but suggested that it would be better if
Emily severed what he called their “common-law marriage.” If she didn’t do
that, they could still attend the ward but he warned that he would have to “call
her to repentance every week,” and they could later sit down together and
consider Church policies regarding excommunication. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The second bishop, according to a
person from whom Emily solicited help, said that she and Rose would be welcome
in his ward but that if they attended, he would be compelled to excommunicate
Emily—but that she could still attend the ward after that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Emily was told by the ally that some </span><span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">members in this ward still have feelings about Prop 8 which they
had experienced as their trial by fire similar to Mormon pioneers’ journey
across the plains.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After these
experiences, Emily wrote, “</span><span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Oh Bob, why is this so hard
for the members of the church? I </span></div>
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think it is partly explained by the fact
that they do such a good job of keeping gays and lesbians away from the Church
that they never have any substantial interaction with real ones; otherwise,
they would see the pain that is caused by such misunderstanding and rejection.
If they only took time to feel our spirits, hear our testimonies, and
understand our hearts, they would see that we are just like them with the same
hopes and desires, the same need for love and acceptance.”<br />
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">She added, “Not long
ago, when Rose and I attended a ward, the sisters in Relief Society actually
thought we were visiting from the General Board of the Relief Society! Imagine
how surprised they would have been if we had revealed that we were a same-sex
couple.” She added, “It's disheartening when I consider that if I want to
attend church with Rose my options are: 1) divorce her, 2) get excommunicated,
or 3) lie about my real name. To me, none of these options seems in
accord with God’s will.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Emily wonders
why if the Church now concedes that being gay is not a choice, it continues to
believe that Heavenly Father’s purpose for His gay children in this life is
different from his purpose for his heterosexual children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">What’s wrong with
this picture? The Church has a problem until it figures out how to deal with
people like Emily and Rose. It is hard to believe that people like them who
have a sincere desire to worship the Lord and find fellowship with other
Latter-day Saints would not be welcomed in any Mormon congregation without fear
of rejection or disciplinary action. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">I can’t help but
feel that their experience (which is certainly not an unfamiliar one to anyone
who has been involved in the long and tortuous relationship between the Church
and its LGBT members) stems from several factors, all of which seem to me out
of harmony with the spirit of the Christian gospel:</span></div>
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<li><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span dir="LTR"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">As Emily suggests,
a basic ignorance among the general membership of the lived experiences of gays
and lesbians, of the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">normality</i></span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"> of their
daily lives; </span><span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"></span></li>
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<li><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span dir="LTR"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">A plethora of cultural overlays
that stereotype gay men and lesbians as perverted, deviant, broken and, most of
all, deliberately sinful that many Mormons accept unquestioningly. </span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"></span></li>
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<li><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><span dir="LTR"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">A failure to understand that Christ
calls his followers to respond to others (including those whom we consider
strangers or other) with generosity, hospitality, openness and, ultimately,
with love.</span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"></span></li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><span dir="LTR"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The failure of the Church to communicate
to leaders and members alike the more loving and enlightened messages found on </span><a href="http://www.mormonsandgays.org/"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">www.mormonsandgays.org</span></a></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">.</span><span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"></span></li>
</ul>
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<li><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><span dir="LTR"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The failure of the Church to
articulate a clear policy for leaders and lay members alike as to how to
accommodate people of good faith who enter into legal same-sex relationships. </span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"></span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Fortunately, not all leaders
respond to gays and lesbians (whether legally married or not) as the two
bishops described above have. A few bishops and stake presidents are taking an
enlightened, flexible stance toward LGBT Latter-day Saints. One bishop in the
Bay Area told me that when a lesbian asked if she could come back to church, he
responded, “On two conditions: 1) that you bring your partner, and 2) that you
accept a calling.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I know another bishop who welcomes a gay friend of mine and
his family to church where they are fully integrated into the congregation. A
stake president of my acquaintance has created a welcoming spirit for gays and
lesbians in all of the wards of his stake. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">In his recent
conference address, Elder Dallin Oaks reiterated the Church’s position that
outside the bonds of hetero-normative marriage all uses of our procreative
powers are to one degree or another sinful. However, most sexual expression
among humans, including among Latter-day Saints, does not focus on procreation
but rather on physical, emotional and spiritual intimacy. To think of this
complicated and even mysterious amalgam of expressions and emotions as
primarily procreative is somehow to diminish their richness and complexity as
well as their integral role in relationships based on romantic and erotic
attraction. Part of Joseph Smith’s enlightened understand of our humanity is
that our sexual powers, expressions and pleasures are gifts beyond procreation.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><br />
Elder Oaks was very clear, as is the church’s website, as to what is currently
acceptable in the eyes of the contemporary church regarding same-sex marriage.
However, the rapidly changing landscape with regard to same-sex marriage (in
which many states and nations increasingly either have or will be making them
legal) may suggest that we are in a state of flux, especially, as with Emily
and Rose, for those who are legally and lawfully married. Historically, church
doctrine and practice relative to marriage have been quite elastic, with
various forms (monogamy, polygyny, polyandry) being accepted under certain
conditions. In the 19th century under the practice of polygamy there were many
kinds of marital relationships, some of which were procreative and some that
were not, some that were sexual and some that were not, and some of which were
eternal and some of which were not. In the past in Catholic countries that
didn’t allow divorce, some Latter-day Saint marriages that were technically
unlawful were recognized as legitimate by the Church. At one time, at least,
common-law marriages were seen as acceptable, if not ideal. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">We also have the matter of non-legal heterosexual cohabitation
that is common in many wards and branches. Non-married members who fit this
category generally not only do not face disciplinary action, they are assigned
home and visiting teachers,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>are welcomed
at church services and activities, are sometimes given callings, and are warmly
fellowshipped—whether they eventually marry or not. For gay and lesbian
couples, especially if they are legally married, this represents a double
standard.</span></a></div>
<span style="mso-bookmark: _GoBack;"></span>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">What I sense most
gays and lesbians want the Church to recognize is that from their earliest
years the Church itself teaches all children (whether they turn out to be gay,
bi or straight) to desire, plan, and prepare themselves for that deep intimate bonding
with another person who ultimately completes and fulfills them. This is taught
at their parents’ knees, in primary, in Sunday school, in young women’s and
young men’s programs, in seminary—everywhere. No one can grow up in the Church
without understanding that his or her crowning achievement in life is to find
that special someone and create an earthly and eternal nuclear family unit. To
devote one’s life to that objective, as has Emily, and then be told that it is
not a possibility, at least in this life, causes a profound existential crisis,
one that can unravel all prior teachings and obliterate future promises. It is
in a sense like growing up in a family in which every child is promised an abundant
Christmas, only to awaken on Christmas morning to find that all of the other
children in the family have multiple Christmas gifts and surprises, but there
are none for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT6cP-E78-xlZA8bqS27BTlXkqGsnxOJpqR1fmN3VxyZkyVGV8cZYCrEb76VMH_8aHqwPinR-k_hkpswVNCyTDCBLEn27Yi3clq-srcjVw1xYRz4hGVm3hhZy15q-foF9DlBhYy-JWwPY/s1600/blog4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT6cP-E78-xlZA8bqS27BTlXkqGsnxOJpqR1fmN3VxyZkyVGV8cZYCrEb76VMH_8aHqwPinR-k_hkpswVNCyTDCBLEn27Yi3clq-srcjVw1xYRz4hGVm3hhZy15q-foF9DlBhYy-JWwPY/s320/blog4.jpg" width="212" /></a><span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Thus, something
that is absolutely given in every normal human being to desire and that the Church
itself emphasizes as the ultimate human relationship is denied to a significant
group of people. Until the Church figures out how to accommodate people like
Emily and Rose, I hope that as leaders, congregations, families and individual
members we will err on the side of kindness, generosity, and patience, seeking
the Lord’s direction and praying for a way forward that includes fellowship
with our gay brothers and lesbian sisters.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">In a recent e-mail, Emily wrote the following: “My relationship with
Rose is one that I've sincerely fasted, prayed, and asked Heavenly Father about
with an open and willing heart to do His will. I try to stay close to my Heavenly
Father because that is the one place that I've always felt safe. This is why I
pray fervently, listen closely, and have endured incredibly hard things in
order to follow the will of God for my life. I keep trying to come back to the
Church because the gospel and the Church are a huge part of my identity. I have
hope that one day leaders and members will pray, fast, and be willing to open
their hearts to God's answer on this matter even if it may be different from
the one they hoped or thought it would be.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">In the middle of the night following this conversation, I awoke
with a certain spiritual confirmation that Emily ‘s story was not only true but
that she was an extraordinary Latter-day Saint.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Who would not want such a person and her family in their
congregation? I'm pretty certain our Savior sure would. </span></div>
Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-1238354440010237032013-10-30T20:34:00.000-07:002013-10-30T20:37:23.614-07:00Who We Really AreThis post was written by a new friend, Ana Nelson Shaw. In it, she describes the role Prop 8 (and her own involvement in it) played in her own journey to becoming an ally to LGBT individuals, and strengthened her testimony to follow personal revelation and do what is right.<br />
<br />
For Ana, as for many other straight Mormons, that means putting unconditional love--and her family--first.<br />
<br />
Thank you, Ana. <br />
<br />
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<b>Who We Really Are </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>How I learned about love
and acceptance by failing to follow the Spirit and supporting Yes On 8</i></div>
<br />
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOsbCNWIKBpZm_3f5qFH2q9bc0ylQHsNW08NKGmVYydrZOVCq1z4tBYZ2CWO7ESN7-fIeiBGzvxvmAQnYwLQKGrwQ2_TEfEt55DusDLXZTLrb0Kt7wtktKFmXaNa4Vz0n1Rpi75oG9RY8/s1600/blog1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOsbCNWIKBpZm_3f5qFH2q9bc0ylQHsNW08NKGmVYydrZOVCq1z4tBYZ2CWO7ESN7-fIeiBGzvxvmAQnYwLQKGrwQ2_TEfEt55DusDLXZTLrb0Kt7wtktKFmXaNa4Vz0n1Rpi75oG9RY8/s320/blog1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
I’m the oldest of six children,
born in Utah and brought up moving all over the country. Two of my three
brothers are gay. Jake, almost four years younger than I, came out when he was
fourteen via a very scary suicide attempt, born of his mistaken surety that his
Mormon family would never accept him as a gay man. I am so grateful he
survived. Tom, born when I was twelve, came out at seventeen, thankfully
without such a terrifying risk to his life. I am grateful that the path Jake
cut with so much difficulty made the going a bit easier for Tom. That’s grace,
right there. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
I am glad and grateful
to be a sister to two brilliant, creative, resilient, strong gay guys who have
helped me learn some vitally important things. This post explores the biggest
lesson I’ve learned as their sister. Unfortunately, I learned it by really
messing up when I was asked by LDS Church leaders to support the Yes on 8
campaign in California in 2008.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
I thought for many years
that my family was doing pretty well. My parents never disowned my brothers for
being gay. We never cut off contact with each other. When Jake found his
husband Dave, my family loved and welcomed him. Jake and Tom left the Church,
and our third brother resigned, as well. This was a source of sadness to those
of us who remained LDS, as we believed it had to be, but we who were in the
Church didn’t see it affecting our relationships.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
There were, however,
tensions to which I was mostly oblivious - except when I really thought about
them. I felt afraid for a long time that I would have to choose between the LDS
Church and my brothers. Especially when I moved from Utah to California in
2003, I started to feel pretty sure that at some point there would be an
anti-gay-marriage policy decision point, a re-visiting of what had happened in
California in 2000 with Proposition 22. Our grandma, who lived in a Southern
California retirement community, had done what her leaders asked her to do to
promote the proposition. I knew how deeply hurt my brothers had been by her
decision to participate. I also believed that if my church leaders ever asked
me to do the same thing, I would have to do it. I dreaded that day.<br />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
In spring 2008, our dad
let us all know about the faith transition he had been experiencing for several
</div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy23YuqoKKYpS3KhR1nLIsci9jSIl3sTAuuv6pEPD3Vxfwamnjd4bUrqjD8QHvSMhSwCAY4TbOzj8j8xupdNyQIW4cYcGfBM6ghutZ4y-Pzg1MOOovB3KKd3R0eJtQHCvlu3ndJhW5P-s/s1600/blog2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy23YuqoKKYpS3KhR1nLIsci9jSIl3sTAuuv6pEPD3Vxfwamnjd4bUrqjD8QHvSMhSwCAY4TbOzj8j8xupdNyQIW4cYcGfBM6ghutZ4y-Pzg1MOOovB3KKd3R0eJtQHCvlu3ndJhW5P-s/s320/blog2.jpg" width="212" /></a>years. It came as a giant surprise to me and required me to reevaluate
everything I thought I knew about my family’s identity. It was tough. Because
Dad would not be renewing his temple recommend after it expired that fall, my
youngest sister decided to marry her boyfriend that summer so that Dad could be
in the temple for her wedding. She was only eighteen, and her boyfriend (now
husband) was several years older, and those in our family who had left the
Church had serious concerns about her choice. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
Based on this upheaval
and on interactions on family communication vehicles like a Facebook group,
battle lines seemed to be drawn: Those who were in the Church versus those who
were out. Those who were in mourned the exits of those who were out. Those who
were out wanted everybody out with them. Jake told me once that the Church was
like a family member that had abused him his entire childhood. He felt
incredibly betrayed that I would still welcome the originator of that abuse
into my life. We saw things so differently. I learned that with my family, I
could not even mention the events and connections that came with my church life
- such a major feature of our growing up together - without getting a close-up
view of the anger and pain felt by those who had left - sometimes directed
right at me. Everybody’s feelings were raw. Every time we interacted with each
other, we all hurt. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Then came the letter on
a June Sunday. Everybody who was in the Church in California in 2008 remembers
it. The First Presidency asked us to do all we could to further the “Yes On 8”
cause. I struggled to hold myself together emotionally until I got home, and
then I collapsed on my bed, crying and praying for some kind of guidance, some
kind of help managing the conflicting demands of my family, my conscience, and
my church. I don’t experience answers to my prayers all the time, but I had
experienced them before that most miserable sabbath, and I experienced one
then, lying on a tear-dampened pillow. “Your place is to teach love,” the
Spirit said to me. I caught my breath and dried my eyes. That, I could do, I
thought. That would be doing all that I could, which was exactly what the
letter asked.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
But getting an answer
through the Spirit was not the end of the conflict for me. In our ward in the
Central Valley, a relatively conservative community, we were expected to
counterbalance the liberal influence of the coastal cities. There was only the
most nominal effort to keep Yes On 8 activities separate from church meetings.
Bumper stickers were handed out at the home of members who lived across the
street from the chapel, but sign-up sheets for phone banking and other
activities made the rounds in Sunday School and third-hour meetings. Leaders
presented supposed reasons to support the measure<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in formal lessons. One prominent (and
financially well-off) leader suggested that members contribute the cost of
their last vacation. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
Church was
squirmy-uncomfortable all summer long. But we loved our ward. The members had
become a family to us through some pretty tough times. So we weren’t among the
California Mormons who took a break from church during the Prop 8 campaign. We
didn’t even consider it. But I don’t think I realized how much the pressure at
church was affecting me and my previous prompting and resolve to simply teach
love.</div>
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<br /></div>
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My husband was as
uncomfortable as I was with the whole Prop 8 campaign as I was, but at the time
he believed he was simply obligated to obey Church leaders. He felt greater
pressure than I did to give time and money - I at least had the refuge of
serving in Young Women, where we didn’t really discuss the campaign. One day -
I think it was in August - he came into the kitchen with a $100 check to Yes on
8.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
“I’m going to turn this
in unless you tell me not to,” he said, offering me an out that I didn’t even
see. I remember only that I felt weary. Weary of the pressure at church, weary
of the impossibility of harmony within my family. Weary from the other stresses
in my life.<br />
<br />
I believe what I said was, “Fine.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
My husband reminded me
that the donation would become public information. And what I said was, “Let
them see who we really are.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
So the donation went in.
I gave my approval to a $100 check taking a stand against one brother’s family
and another brother’s future family. I did it not out of conviction but out of
exhaustion, and in a sort of flip-them-off, angry gesture. My husband was
asking for a sign from me at that point to bolster his convictions, and I
failed him, too. By rubber-stamping that donation I actually betrayed who I
really was and what the Spirit of God had told me I needed to do. Maybe worst
of all, I thought very little of it. </div>
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<br /></div>
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As everybody knows, Prop
8 passed. My brothers found our names on an online donor roll, and Jake cut off
contact with my little family. (To be very clear, I don’t believe he was wrong
to do so. People need to be safe from hurt, and I was not a safe person during
and after Prop 8.) Tom expressed his hurt in a gentle but uncompromising way. I
put my parents in the horrible position of not being able to have their children
all together. I felt heartsick that my little brothers whom I loved, were not
speaking to me - that my kids would lose touch with their uncles. I never
dreamed that any members of my family would be estranged from each other. I
hated it. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
But I was very much in a
fog. I didn’t see clearly why my decisions were wrong, and so I didn’t see any
way to make things better. I think it’s possible that because I took myself out
of harmony with what the Spirit tried to teach me, I lost touch for a while, at
least on this topic. Talk about a stupor of thought!</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
More than a year later,
after my husband and kids and I moved to another state, I began to pray about
how to heal the rift between me and my brothers. Only then I remembered the
prompting I’d had the Sunday the Prop 8 letter was read in sacrament meeting. I
suddenly saw so clearly<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>that I had
failed to follow the Spirit - I had let my exhaustion and anger and fear
overcome what I knew was right, and I had stepped outside the role the Holy
Spirit told me was mine. I had failed to teach about love.<br />
<br /></div>
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I took a few months to think about this new way of looking at the events of
2008. I had picked up “Women, Food, and God,” by Geneen Roth, and the insight
that hit me hardest from her writing was something like this: Wishing life were
different is an affront to the life God has given you. It’s ingratitude. It’s
miserable and unhealthy. From this root grew a new conviction that I can no
longer say to my brothers, “I love you,” and then continue in my mind, “but I wish
you weren’t gay,” or “I wish you were an active member of the Mormon church.”
That wish invalidates the love. It insults all the wonderful things they are. <br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
I’d thought I accepted
my brothers before, because I didn’t openly reject them. Accepting is much more
than that. Accepting is embracing without reservation or condition. Accepting
is gratitude for life and people as God made them. Accepting is trusting our
fellow humans to see clearly their own best paths in life and supporting who
they are and what they do, not just in word but with our whole hearts. I came
to see that if I could not offer that complete acceptance to my family, I was
offering almost nothing. But if I could - if I could, I would be offering love
like Christ’s love, love that heals and offers hope for joy and togetherness in
this life and worlds to come. That would be opening up the whole reason for
trying to be a Christian person.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
With these new insights
about love and acceptance, and with my new understanding about my mistakes during
Prop 8, I have begun - only begun - to rebuild relationships with my brothers.
My husband has also reached out to apologize and express his deep regret about
everything we did related to Prop 8. This is not a fast-moving process. Both of
us consider our participation there among the biggest mistakes of our lives. I
understand that humans learn from their mistakes, and the best way I can move
forward from that mistake is to learn and do better. I can’t undo the hurt
I<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>caused in California, and I can’t undo
the abuse that Jake and Tom survived growing up in the Church. But I can try to
fulfill the words I heard in my heart in 2008 - the calling to teach my
brothers and sisters in the Church about love. Now, with Church leaders in
Hawaii encouraging members to stand against marriage equality as the
legislature there considers a new and inclusive marriage law, I believe it’s
time for me to share. That’s why I’ve written this post.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJRSf3P3JCTS8XIP8R2JEvdYLg0yRTs3aPIilim9wwOm1hAecotASxXqBD1U4Ez2qY6q3MfTVvXap9EU3UYVbdZqbVhlZmYN8y6Z7JYis4PGaOk50TqqjaHRZCRW5H9NUuMGG-ADls0Sk/s1600/blog2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJRSf3P3JCTS8XIP8R2JEvdYLg0yRTs3aPIilim9wwOm1hAecotASxXqBD1U4Ez2qY6q3MfTVvXap9EU3UYVbdZqbVhlZmYN8y6Z7JYis4PGaOk50TqqjaHRZCRW5H9NUuMGG-ADls0Sk/s320/blog2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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To those in Hawaii
feeling the doubts and struggles I felt in 2008, I hope with all my heart that
your experience is different from mine. I want to remind you that you do not
have to keep your heads down. You do not have to simply hear and obey. It is
your divinely-given right and responsibility to pray about what your Heavenly Parents
want you to do and to receive answers in personal revelation. Record the
answers you receive so that you won’t forget them or let your best intentions
be overwhelmed by negativity (as I did). Make a plan that will keep you in
touch with your deepest convictions. Be aware of the pressures that might cause
you to deviate from what you know is right, and avoid them if you can. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
And please remember that
“I love you, but,” is not the same as “I love you.” </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan;">
Just love.<br />
<br />
If we Mormons can grasp that, the walls will start to crumble. If we can just
love without qualifications and without judgment, that’s when people outside
the Church will see the reasons we want to stay members of the Church.<br />
<br />
That’s
letting them see who we really are.</div>
Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-28159254211652026042013-10-13T12:30:00.000-07:002013-10-13T12:30:18.473-07:00BYU Students Deliver LGBT Peers a Message of Hope--and Love<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguQvcKz_tL5PrUNmv5Gx_2ffpcM399Wd6RtAd1Wk-kxpxUM7cAI5pQhL7mEQdGuULPQN0vL6Aag0EQSpakj1_QBoECsOlszetZ4XpJC7YKCILpZj5sog-C4MjVdCw55I9CCL_KQPFl4dQ/s1600/blog1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguQvcKz_tL5PrUNmv5Gx_2ffpcM399Wd6RtAd1Wk-kxpxUM7cAI5pQhL7mEQdGuULPQN0vL6Aag0EQSpakj1_QBoECsOlszetZ4XpJC7YKCILpZj5sog-C4MjVdCw55I9CCL_KQPFl4dQ/s200/blog1.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last week members of <a href="https://www.facebook.com/UsgaAtByu">BYU’s USGA</a> (Understanding Same
Gender Attraction) organization <a href="http://www.nomorestrangers.org/just-be-there-a-message-of-suicide-awareness-and-prevention/">produced
a video</a> featuring LGBT BYU students talking openly about the struggle they
face as gay Mormons. What’s profound here is the honesty with which these
students talk about issues that we as Mormons don’t normally approach:
depression and suicidal thoughts. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYa2fa1wgtxsQ_dGDs-tlRQMRV4MX1Mt0wPbyuscD87n2lsIzO20vhjZrk9boiknKx88cBHfJNRkZkSr97Sef8MocFHxI2r3u5G7SdfO2nuxDI9D0bTxDhvkAWTtfC7tKfYrOSiHvNHC0/s1600/blog5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYa2fa1wgtxsQ_dGDs-tlRQMRV4MX1Mt0wPbyuscD87n2lsIzO20vhjZrk9boiknKx88cBHfJNRkZkSr97Sef8MocFHxI2r3u5G7SdfO2nuxDI9D0bTxDhvkAWTtfC7tKfYrOSiHvNHC0/s320/blog5.jpg" width="178" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">One vital way to keep LGBT
Mormon youth from reaching this critical point is to help parents and extended
communities recognize how their behavior affects LGBT youth. <a href="http://familyproject.sfsu.edu/publications">The Family Acceptance Project</a>
has produced the first LDS-based materials to help families and communities
understand what helps gay kids, and what increases their risk for depression
and suicide. These materials—<a href="http://familyproject.sfsu.edu/publications">which you can download free
online</a>—are the first faith-based suicide prevention resources to be named
as a Best Practice by The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. They
artfully blend rigorous scientific research with the best parts of Mormon
faith—the part that teaches us to love unconditionally, like our Savior loves. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s no secret that the
LGBT youth suicide rate in Utah
is well above the norm, and while talking openly about the isolation and other
factors that contribute to those numbers is becoming a bit more common, what I
like is the students have done a remarkable job of overshadowing the bleak
times with a powerful message of hope. To hear this message from our peers is a
big step, and an encouraging one. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I spoke with Adam White of
USGA at BYU this weekend, and we talked in depth about the video. With his
permission, I’m reposting part of that conversation. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Mitch: I think your video
is a good one—and I admire the honesty of those who spoke. One of the most
striking moments is one student’s candor about a disturbing lesson we’re all
taught as gay Mormons: that being gay is a mortal experience and upon leaving
this life, each of us is released from the bondage of being gay and is made
straight. Like the student in the clip, many gay Mormons (including me) don’t
find this to be comforting. In fact, I’ve heard from many who look at as the
opposite: it’s almost an incentive to want to take their own lives. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Adam: I had never thought
about that teaching in that way before, and I remember the first time I heard
it, it perplexed me. It still does. I don’t know of any Mormon precedent or
scriptural basis about our orientation disappearing in the afterlife—for gay
people or straight. What’s troubling to me is we’re sending our youth that
message often in the very moments they’re most vulnerable. I think it warps the
way we see ourselves as gay Mormons to believe we’ll be someone else when we
leave here. At its worst, it could very well leave depressed and suicidal gay
Mormons with the message that is best to die. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWf5jWAnTbGOde_N0SVy8qYWNCyZfiuC5Jwv0eXiGyVMqWezgx05Yaxh3mPNIkN_p_y0o4M0m1ATTQJ1bf5m3vCietyVf19vYEBifp63TvqgNN1hHxKUln_WcS7E6Y9hMZHAkDwy8LqLQ/s1600/blog5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWf5jWAnTbGOde_N0SVy8qYWNCyZfiuC5Jwv0eXiGyVMqWezgx05Yaxh3mPNIkN_p_y0o4M0m1ATTQJ1bf5m3vCietyVf19vYEBifp63TvqgNN1hHxKUln_WcS7E6Y9hMZHAkDwy8LqLQ/s320/blog5.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Mitch: But the video also
stresses something I’ve said for a long time: the importance of our own individual relationship with our Savior. I know from experience that our Savior
is our constant companion—he know us personally and walks right beside us in
this life, if we let Him. Your video sends a great message to gay Mormons to
remind them of that fact. And I’d take it a step further and remind them that
despite messages about our worth here or eternally, or any other message that
damages our understanding of ourselves in the eyes of our Savior, that
relationship belongs solely to us. It is as deep and meaningful as we choose to
make it. We have not only the personal power to build that relationship, but
the right to do so—whether or not we’re active inside the Mormon faith. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Adam: I agree! At the
center of our Gospel is Christ—and our personal relationship with Him. This is
one of the most powerful messages for me personally—if we think about the
atonement and that Christ knows what it’s like to be LGBT—the stigma, the
isolation, the rejection. This message alone brings hope to many who feel like
no one understands what they’re going through. But our Savior does—he’s lived
it personally. Knowing that our older brother has walked this before us, so he can
not only empathize but help, I think there is so much hope here. When we
remember what our Savior has experienced, we find healing, we find
compassion—sometimes when it feels impossible to find that from any human. The
hope of our Savior was at the center of our minds as we made this video. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Mitch: One of the
questions I always get is people wondering how I reconcile standing for the
LGBT community and still being Mormon. What do you say when you hear that
question?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Adam: Well, I know from
personal experience it’s difficult to be in that space between two communities
that have been at odds for very powerful reasons on both sides. And at the same
time, I recognize and respect my identity, and I also love my faith. I believe
in the potential we have as Mormons to do good in this world, to be
compassionate, and to be examples of our Savior. Being a gay Mormon and seeing
the other side of our faith—those who have been cast out for simply being who
they are—that’s hard to watch. To see Mormonism, which has been so good to me,
actually do harm to people that I know and love has deeply affected me. Because
I recognize our potential as a religion to do better, I don’t think I’ll ever
walk away. But I also fully recognize the gifts our Father has given to us as LGBT
people, and I firmly believe once we embrace our gay brothers and sisters their
strength will add to our own, and as a whole we’ll be much closer to Zion. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-Nkf8KJEv7bKlyDEsc10_26eQ0Z1LfeGvgrRtb0JA5aolBBUkPdACKGDMJ7BDhXdYWnhdBlk06-g_iTxY2ku5JTSBhHrEwMfcOCvi8W7s-ufZO9nsXCE_g0i-_jDEpe2T1vslLDDIetA/s1600/blog3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-Nkf8KJEv7bKlyDEsc10_26eQ0Z1LfeGvgrRtb0JA5aolBBUkPdACKGDMJ7BDhXdYWnhdBlk06-g_iTxY2ku5JTSBhHrEwMfcOCvi8W7s-ufZO9nsXCE_g0i-_jDEpe2T1vslLDDIetA/s320/blog3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Mitch: One of the things I
grapple with is gay Mormon youth who live outside the country. It seems in the
past few months alone I’ve gotten dozens of emails and messages from gay
Mormons in their teens or early twenties, and they feel especially isolated. It
hurts my heart to hear their stories—and quite frankly, I fear for some of
them. When they’re in the states, it’s easier for me to help find others near
them, but when they’re in the Philippines,
China, or South and Central America our options are so much more limited in
terms of the kind of support we can offer them. What would you say to them? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Adam: Wow…the first thing
I would do is to let them know I recognize how difficult it is to be in that
situation. My heart goes out to them—and I fully understand how hopeless it
might seem. I’ve been blessed personally; even at BYU I have a community of
support. But I would remind my gay Mormon brothers and sisters outside the
country that our Savior loves them, exactly as they are—despite what others
might say. And I would say to them that these videos were made for <i>them.</i>
Your brothers and sisters here in America and at BYU—we know you’re
out there. We love you. We want you to stay with us—we need you. So does your
Savior. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Mitch: I’ve gone on record
to say that historically we haven’t done a very good job in the way we treat
and understand the LGBT community as Mormons. The same is true of LGBT people
within our own ranks. I think we fall far short of where our Savior wants us to
be. That’s one of the things I’ve worked to change over the past few years—kind
of holding up a mirror to my Mormon fellows, and allowed them to see the
reality of some of their behavior. Some of them haven’t really liked what
they’ve seen. What would be your ultimate dream when it comes to LGBT people
inside the Church? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsYfEL6as9qLWlN7vToBYP4fIo5KoAr9rqi8cgPntBUbh2k1BmASSCp70OCJ9ye9QEaLN9k0o7yFdDCkGSQvgzETc5-FmHrdVGg-WBDyLxMcZJzcsdAdJzpqloxjdYLkydLSnYiNZuQ00/s1600/blog4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsYfEL6as9qLWlN7vToBYP4fIo5KoAr9rqi8cgPntBUbh2k1BmASSCp70OCJ9ye9QEaLN9k0o7yFdDCkGSQvgzETc5-FmHrdVGg-WBDyLxMcZJzcsdAdJzpqloxjdYLkydLSnYiNZuQ00/s320/blog4.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Adam: I’m still kind of
forming that dream, I think. But a good place to start would be complete
open-door inclusivity for gay Mormons—the kind of inclusivity that Christ stood
for and taught. I think it would be great to one day have gay couples at church
with their own families, in our meetings and our activities, and have no one
even think twice about it. I think we need to recognize that the way LGBT
people struggle within their faith comes from a place of love. Meaning, they
aren’t just upstarts who are trying to be inconvenient. These are children of
our Father who deeply love this religion and want to stay precisely because of
their profound love of our Savior, and of the gospel. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Mitch: I couldn’t agree
more. And I think that’s why gay Mormons belong most of all. </span></div>
Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-11521650812921148322013-10-03T20:02:00.000-07:002013-10-03T20:02:14.204-07:00God's Strategy<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Friends- </span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Special guest post by my good friend and one of our Stake High Councimen, Matt Mosman. I've posted some of his writing here before, and like earlier talks, this one doesn't disappoint. </span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! </span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">________________________________________________________ </span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Good morning, brothers and
sisters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Always a pleasure to see so
many of my friends here in the El Camino Ward.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">A few months ago one of our
other high councilmen, Rob Hansen, cornered me after a meeting and said, “I’ve
got your talks figured out.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He proceeded
to tell me that his observation is that I always take the assigned topic and
draw the slimmest analogy to whatever it is I wanted to talk about, but in the
end I always talk about whatever I feel like.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Rob is exactly right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been doing that for years, I’m afraid,
and he caught me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So today I’m going to
do this differently: I’m going to dispense with the analogy, I’m going to beg
forgiveness of the stake presidency, and I’m going to talk about what I want to
talk about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have something that’s been
on my mind.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">A couple of months ago I was in
a ward in another state and overheard a conversation going on in the hallway of
the church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some men and women were
discussing what they thought should be done about a gay man who had started
coming back to church.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The conversation was all about <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">rules</i>: what he could do, what he
couldn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It then turned for a while
into the members’ own <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">interactions</i>
with him: what if one of them was assigned to home teach him?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if he invited them over to dinner?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if he has a partner?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What then?</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">This particular issue is one
I’ve been thinking about for years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When
I was called to the high council, I was called to serve in the Bay Ward up in
the city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That ward’s rolls are full to
the brim with mostly inactive gay men and women, and it was my specific job to
work on how we could minister to them.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">If we want to talk about that
hallway conversation, we could definitely take this talk in the direction of
“he that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For sure we could talk about that, and we all
know that every one of us had better drop the rocks in our hands if we’re going
to talk about that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But that’s not where
I’m going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to take this in a
different direction, just a little bit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I want to talk about <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">rules</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to talk about the Good Samaritan.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I think that those people in
that church hallway were asking the same question that the lawyer asked Jesus
in Luke Chapter 10: “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Who is my neighbor</i>?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Happily, this means that Jesus
gave them a fairly direct answer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here
is what is says:</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">And
Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and
fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and
departed, leaving him half dead.</span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And by chance there came down a certain priest
that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.</span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">And
likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed
by on the other side.</span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The
priest and Levite both know better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
work in the temple; they would know that </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://biblia.com/bible/nasb95/Leviticus%2019.34"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Leviticus 19:34</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"> says that if you see a stranger
in need, you do whatever it takes to meet his need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Exodus chapter 23:4-5 says if you find even
your enemy's donkey astray, you make sure you rescue the man's donkey, let
alone the man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The priest would have
taught this; the Levite surely would have known it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They would surely have known the sayings of
the prophet Micah, who said on behalf of God, "He has told you, O man,
what is good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What does the Lord require
of you but to do justice, to love kindness and to walk humbly with your
God?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Both the priest and the
Levite would have known all of that.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">But they
also knew some <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">rules</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The stranger might have been dead, and it is
forbidden for someone who serves in the temple to touch a dead body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If either of them did, he would have to
undergo a lengthy purification ritual.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The man sure <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">looked</i> dead --
Jesus said that the thieves had left him half-dead, and it could have been
hours since then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The priest and Levite
knew the rules, and they kept the rules.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And in this instance, the rules meant more to them than compassion
did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They did not see the injured man as
their neighbor; they saw him as a problem.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">And now
the story has its twist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In verse 33:</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">But a
certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: </span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">If we
know anything of Jewish/Samaritan relations, this is likely to be the worst
possible thing to </span></div>
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happen to the injured man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We assume the injured man is a Jew because this is Israel and a certain man in Israel would be
a Jew -- so there lies this Jewish man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And now into the story comes a Samaritan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The assumption is that the Samaritan is not
going to be any help at all, because the Samaritans and the Jews held each
other in the most bitter contempt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Samaritans
were of the tribes of Ephraim and Manasseh, and some claimed to be
Levites.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After the Northern
Kingdom was taken captive in the Babylonian Exile, Samaritans
remained in the land, which was then taken over by Gentiles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These Ephraimites and Manassehites who
remained in the land intermarried with the Gentiles, for which they were
despised and hated by their cousins because they had “sold their birthright”
and (in the eyes of the Jews) polluted the pure strain of God's chosen
people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">How much
were they despised?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When Israel, led by
Nehemiah, came back from Babylonian captivity, they wanted to rebuild the
wall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Samaritans showed up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In Ezra Chapter 4, the Samaritans who showed
up were referred to as “the adversaries of Judah and Benjamin,” but they still
offered to help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They went to
Zerubbabel, and said, “Let us build with you, for we seek your God, as you
do.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They want to reconnect with their
Jewish roots, and rejoin the family. </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">But
Zerubbabel and Jeshua said, “Ye have nothing to do with us to build an house
unto our God; but we ourselves will build.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The bitterness was that deep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So
the Samaritans then turned to be their enemies, all the time the Jews are
trying to build the wall, Samaritans try to prevent them from doing it, led by
a man named Sanballat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Eventually
the Samaritans built their own temple, on Mount Gerizim.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And in 128 B.C., a hundred and twenty-eight
years before Jesus' birth, Jews from Jerusalem
went and destroyed the Mount
Gerizim temple and killed
some of the Samaritans.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The
animosity was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">profound</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whenever a Jew traveled from north to south,
or south to north, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">by far</i> the easiest
way would be to go through Samaria.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They never did -- they went <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">around</i> Samaria.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Nobody went through Samaria.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They wouldn't put the dirt of Samaria on their shoes,
the hatred ran so deep.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">And it
cut both ways: a Samaritan was no more eager to interact with a Jew than a Jew
was with a Samaritan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is important:
the Samaritan has his own rules.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s
not supposed to do what we all know he’s about to do.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">and when
he saw him, he had compassion on him...</span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">This is
where the Samaritan takes center stage in the story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And here comes the main point: he puts aside
all the rules and regulations and thinks of the big picture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Samaritans are religious: the Samaritan
religion claims to be the true Judaism.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So he must experience some of the same issues that the priest and Levite
did:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s asking himself what the rules
are, but he takes it just a little farther and asks himself, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Ultimately, what is the point of my
religion?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What is the goal?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What is God trying to make of me?”</i></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">In my
work we would say that he’s focused on the strategy and not the tactics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Strategy is what executives think about: what
are we trying to do as a business?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who
are we?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tactics are the day-to-day
activities that ideally are supposed to support the strategy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But sometimes they don’t, and we have to
watch that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s really been my job as
an executive in various businesses: to make sure that I’m keeping an eye on the
big picture, and to ensure that the things that people are doing every day are
keeping us on that path.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I hope
you understand what I mean here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not
saying that you don’t want to keep the rules, that you don’t want to follow the
commandments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s absolutely <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> what I’m trying to say.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
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<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">But I
also think that if you think of the scriptures as a rulebook, you are missing
the entire point of religion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God is
trying to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">make something</i> of you and
me, and it’s worth asking ourselves, all the time, what He is trying to
do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has something to do with
kindness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has a lot to do with losing
the temptation to judge others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is
almost certainly about you and me learning to express love without putting
conditions on that love.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Notice
how the Samaritan loves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His lack of
conditions on that love is breathtaking, and the more you think about it, the
more breath it takes away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">First of
all, he saw him, and he felt compassion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This is where it all begins, something in his heart just goes out to the
man, the way our hearts should ache for those who suffer around us -- a
sadness, a grief, a sympathy, a driving need to rescue and recover the
man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">And so
verse 34 says, "He came to him."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He doesn’t call up to him, ask him how he’s doing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He goes to where the man is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He evaluates him and gives careful attention
to what's going to be required for his rescue and recovery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He discovers that the man is alive, but has
some wounds -- in Greek word is trauma.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">And so
it says that after he came to him he bandaged up his wounds, and there is a lot
of information there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The scripture says
that the man is naked, so whatever the Samaritan used for bandages came out of
his own bag.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He used his own
clothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can picture that he starts
tearing up his own clothes -- if not the ones he was wearing, then perhaps
extras that he carried in his travel bag -- and he starts bandaging the man
up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The
scripture tells us that in the process of binding the wounds the Samaritan also
pours in oil and wine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wine was used
because of its fermentation as an antiseptic, and the oil would soothe and
soften the damaged tissue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Samaritan
wasn’t wandering around with a medicine bag.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He carried wine with him to drink on a long journey, and oil to cook
with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Samaritan is divesting himself
of his own clothing, and he's divesting himself of his own provisions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">After
doing his best to handle the man’s wounds, the Samaritan drapes the injured man
over the back of his donkey and takes him to an inn, walking beside his living
transportation, holding the man on to make sure he doesn't come off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb4972ImPgsvqi3MZX6JmVoD0mIETaKQmCoCYeMDM_YDTsP4kdRGMPp1Bv8Jtfmj8gCTBGCAa0Apyi5hlCIiHiXuSw4RjzlOpLWw44KV1uI1soRrE9saR747wHbzP6C6lKf4jyLzvkALo/s1600/blog4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb4972ImPgsvqi3MZX6JmVoD0mIETaKQmCoCYeMDM_YDTsP4kdRGMPp1Bv8Jtfmj8gCTBGCAa0Apyi5hlCIiHiXuSw4RjzlOpLWw44KV1uI1soRrE9saR747wHbzP6C6lKf4jyLzvkALo/s320/blog4.jpg" width="212" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">After a
time -- we don’t know how long, but it couldn’t have been around the block --,
the Samaritan gets him to an inn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This
wasn’t Jerusalem; this was somewhere on a
dangerous road between Jerusalem and Jericho.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An inn in a place like that would have been a
meager place at best.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wouldn’t suspect
that the innkeeper was an honest man, though I guess he might have been.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most weren’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But there was no choice here; the Samaritan needed to find a place to
offer this man some rest and care, so he no doubt took whatever he could get.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">And then
the scripture says wonderfully, "And took care of him."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having negotiated the place to stay, the
Samaritan took the man in, put him down to rest, continued to work with him
with his bandages, continued working with his wounds, provided food, sleep,
comfort, water, cleansing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And he did it
all night. </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">How do
we know that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, because it says so
in verse 35, "And on the next day..."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He stayed with him all night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
set his whole agenda aside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He gave up
his own clothes, his own supplies, his own time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is amazing for a stranger who was his
worst enemy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And he stayed all night by
his bed, making sure he was cared for. </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">And that
wasn't all: in verse 35 it says, "On the next day he took out two pence
and gave them to the innkeeper and said, 'Take care of him.'" Wanting to
go on his journey the Samaritan now puts him in the care of an innkeeper, and
gives the innkeeper two pence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spent a
long time wondering, how much is two pence in those days?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I looked it up and did a little math.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sources from that day suggest that the cost
of a night at a low-end inn in those days would have been about 1/32 of a
pence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So he gave him enough for
something like <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">two months</i> worth of
room and board.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even if I’m wrong about
it being meager and it’s a better place, the Samaritan left the innkeeper with
somewhere between a month and two months worth of room and board for the
injured man. </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The
story goes even further when the Samaritan says to the innkeeper in verse 35,
"Take care of him and whatever more you spend, when I return I will repay
you."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now he has exposed himself to
serious extortion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unbelievably, he's
left an open account.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The
whole story is remarkable -- even more than we thought at first, isn’t it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He stops.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He tears up his own clothes to use for bandages.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He uses his own provisions to speed healing,
and then he pays for two months’ stay and leaves a blank check with the
inn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">There
are two points to this story, I think:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>First, that here is an example of boundary-less concern.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was no end to what he would do, and
there was not a moment’s concern for who this poor stranger was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Didn’t matter that he was a Jew.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He could have been rich, poor, a good guy, or
a bad one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>None of it mattered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was no holding back of his desire to
bless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It depended on nothing.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Second,
and here is the point I’m trying to make: He let the principles, the
big-picture things, rule over the little rules and regulations about how he was
supposed to interact with Jews.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFjDb6Z5XJt6q34pIhuy0gItNwWACFH1CHEznMZxPsuYlBLzIT17CZzVqXtGWVJthbkMKs56bHqTwSOD-97CjN1HVvFAnDSbNgGZ8zDZ8V1hdzRR0FwQgdlSYS1QMoz4dD8dKprOC2fCY/s1600/blog5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFjDb6Z5XJt6q34pIhuy0gItNwWACFH1CHEznMZxPsuYlBLzIT17CZzVqXtGWVJthbkMKs56bHqTwSOD-97CjN1HVvFAnDSbNgGZ8zDZ8V1hdzRR0FwQgdlSYS1QMoz4dD8dKprOC2fCY/s320/blog5.jpg" width="242" /></a></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">So now
go back with me to that hallway conversation: what is the answer to those who
wonder whether they should accept the dinner invitation?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve tried to figure out what their point is:
are they trying to express their disapproval?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Is the condemnation of our brothers and sisters a gospel principle?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is that what Jesus was trying to teach
us?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is that part of God’s strategy for
you and me: that we become really good at expressing our disapproval of others?</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">It’s
worth noting a couple of things about Jesus: first, that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">the primary thing that people in his day criticized him for, is that he
hung out with the wrong crowd</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
prophet, they said, would find a better class of people for friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But Jesus was never very concerned about how
things looked to others: he saw goodness in fishermen and tax collectors.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Second,
it’s worth noting that Jesus really reserved His criticism for people like the
Pharisees and Saducees who <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">all shared the
same trait: they became so wrapped up in following all the rules that they
forgot to pay attention to whether or not they were becoming good people</i>.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Brothers
and Sisters: I know that this is the kind of talk that can be taken all
wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But you’re smart folks, and
you’ll figure out how to take it correctly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>God has a strategy, a big picture, for you and for me -- and we should keep
that always in the forefront of our minds.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">So, do
you take that dinner invitation?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you
home teach without judgment and with real love?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Of course you do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God’s strategy,
His big picture for you and for me, asks us to open our arms wide to welcome,
and our hearts all the way without reservation.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 15.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I leave
these thoughts with you in the name of Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Amen.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-82714853021849416282013-07-01T11:48:00.001-07:002013-07-01T11:48:40.855-07:00Mormon march in San Francisco Pride 2013<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWr7eZpxWzgjTJ_6SRMCt0NF1uXKmHc2dfI1-5YWCADQdfbukYuH8A02z4gHG5u8x7l0kDSdIa8dJTrYCgdhIpTxV_cfak9O3cyNpFe2kdj3G6oZiCarBLk4pcRgAi1oVtdL88ilAZMe0/s1600/pride+2013-5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWr7eZpxWzgjTJ_6SRMCt0NF1uXKmHc2dfI1-5YWCADQdfbukYuH8A02z4gHG5u8x7l0kDSdIa8dJTrYCgdhIpTxV_cfak9O3cyNpFe2kdj3G6oZiCarBLk4pcRgAi1oVtdL88ilAZMe0/s400/pride+2013-5.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">We
have come a long way. The Pride march itself is kind of symbolic for me
as a Mormon. We have pioneer roots, and our history is rich with
accounts of Mormons pulling together and marching with handcarts from
place to place to find a location where we were free to be ourselves. <br /> <br /> So it is with the Pride march. We put one foot in front of the other as a symbol of the steps we're taking to help ens<span class="text_exposed_show">ure
inclusion for our LGBT brothers and sisters. For the Pride march every
year, we reach the completion of our short journey down Market Street in
a little over an hour. But from a larger metaphoric sense, we're still
marching on to that end--finding a place where everyone is safe to be
their genuine self. <br /> <br /> When will we reach the end of our journey?
I don't know. But what I do know is that this is the journey our Savior
wants us to be undertaking right now, and like the handcart stories of
our ancestors, this one will also be filled with wonderful accounts
about the kindness of friends we meet along the way.<br /> <br /> So to the
pioneers that marched yesterday--and those who joined with us in their
hearts, enjoy the journey. I'm pretty sure our Savior wants us to do
that, too.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOpzJ2I9tblIhR6MrBuZLqMMHCUCuFF-uSJ-8kpLI7Vvek07yyvig41VS7MrIM5VmtvRStOOeqLX7QyQrymU2Iyey8-Pdt0kxlA5_-pFugnrA6Y8K2w2dGHUiGN-QtbCsaQ_9nE62SPw4/s606/pride+2013-6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOpzJ2I9tblIhR6MrBuZLqMMHCUCuFF-uSJ-8kpLI7Vvek07yyvig41VS7MrIM5VmtvRStOOeqLX7QyQrymU2Iyey8-Pdt0kxlA5_-pFugnrA6Y8K2w2dGHUiGN-QtbCsaQ_9nE62SPw4/s400/pride+2013-6.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-24803573338253245852013-06-19T11:24:00.000-07:002013-06-19T11:25:50.420-07:00Why Mormon support of the BSA decision is a good thing for gay Mormon youth<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]-->A repost of my recent article on <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mitch-mayne/mormon-church-bsa-decision_b_3422806.html" target="_blank">Huffington Post</a>. Enjoy.<br />
<br />
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPenORxjR0zBPs2WcFwUD37rXe4ctspRugmOsxOnFiIEahRLdOo19OsWVm82vp1cKq4LjdmbknDz_ksvFxyhgZbRdrNzMCuX-s3LT-4w_BBNCM00RAcMyO2mMPL4pHeYh_vX7g_VNBDks/s1600/kirk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPenORxjR0zBPs2WcFwUD37rXe4ctspRugmOsxOnFiIEahRLdOo19OsWVm82vp1cKq4LjdmbknDz_ksvFxyhgZbRdrNzMCuX-s3LT-4w_BBNCM00RAcMyO2mMPL4pHeYh_vX7g_VNBDks/s320/kirk.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I was in first grade,
I wasn’t so different from all the other Mormon boys in my class. Like them, I couldn’t
wait for the bell to ring signaling the end of the school day. But unlike them,
I didn’t run to the playground to toss the ball, or head to a friends house to
hang out. I got home as quickly as I could, because right after school the
local television station aired reruns of the original Star Trek series—and I
had a great big school-boy crush on Captain James T. Kirk. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">At six-years old, I lacked
the vocabulary to be able to explain to anyone that I was gay, but my identity
was formed nonetheless. All I knew was I liked the way my heart beat a little
faster when Captain Kirk was in my life for that hour each day after school—and
that Captain Kirk was the guy I wanted to give my first-grade Valentine to.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My story isn’t unique. As
kids, straight or gay, each of us had someone who made our heart skip a beat. If
you ask any adult, they can almost without fail tell you the name of their
first crush. If it was a heterosexual crush, likely it was met with kind teases
and coos from parents, friends, and other adults. But if it was a homosexual
crush, it was questioned and shamed—and we were told we were confused, we
didn’t understand, or that it was just a phase and it would pass. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“How could he know he’s
gay? He’s never kissed a boy!” a parent commonly asks. And at the same time, a
parent never thinks to ask the question, “How would he know he’s straight? He’s
never even kissed a girl!” The simple truth is that neither of us has to kiss
the object of our affection to know the direction our hearts point us. Our
realities, gay or straight, are just the same. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This tendency to assume
that children only correctly identify their sexual orientation if it’s
heterosexual is common inside the Mormon culture—and extremely damaging. It
instills in gay children an alarming amount of self-doubt: from an early age we
are taught not to trust our own feelings. Worse, when we’re shamed for
expressing feelings for someone of the same gender, we learn the misconception
there’s something deeply wrong with us, and that has resounding implications
for our health and mental health throughout our entire lives. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Recently, the Boy Scouts
of America (BSA) announced its decision to <a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/05/23/us-usa-boyscouts-ban-vote-idUSBRE94M1A320130523">support
inclusive scouting for </a></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgWXBCbltF6GYMgo8mcmY8VeKVIWPNLgqqZFkwpCIiPA4BUzTwrUlnuAs4gBFF0CTQ5f01uOIO0VPrvIeOOFoyB7HmPAyDaMaxmyrOSg8ui4Hge-eTci4hsiOkD2Am-Z9Z_hXFLCSNZ10/s1600/supportive+sctou+badge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgWXBCbltF6GYMgo8mcmY8VeKVIWPNLgqqZFkwpCIiPA4BUzTwrUlnuAs4gBFF0CTQ5f01uOIO0VPrvIeOOFoyB7HmPAyDaMaxmyrOSg8ui4Hge-eTci4hsiOkD2Am-Z9Z_hXFLCSNZ10/s320/supportive+sctou+badge.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
gay youth, and the Mormon Church has come out
publicly in <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/on-faith/wp/2013/05/31/why-mormons-back-the-new-scouting-policy/">support
of that policy</a>. By acknowledging—maybe for the first time—that gay kids can
and do correctly identify their orientation, the Mormon Church is poised to
make powerful changes to protect the health of young gay Mormon boys. As a
Mormon faith, our footprint on this planet is large—and with it, comes a
tremendous opportunity to do good. We have the chance to seize this opportunity
to do the right thing, and show the world Mormon compassion and wisdom at its
best.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And here’s how we can do
it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last year, <a href="http://familyproject.sfsu.edu/">The Family Acceptance Project</a>
delivered a Mormon version of their evidence-based research materials that
outlines both rejecting and accepting behaviors—and links those behaviors
directly to rates of alcohol and drug use and abuse, STD infection, depression
and suicide. These <a href="http://familyproject.sfsu.edu/publications">Mormon
materials</a> bear the “Best Practice” seal from the American Foundation for
Suicide Prevention, and are the only materials to have received this kind of
national recognition and endorsement. Inside the booklet, Mormon families will
find guidance that not only fits within the confines of our doctrine and
beliefs, but actually reinforces the best parts of Mormonism: keeping our
families happy, safe, and together. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYa2fa1wgtxsQ_dGDs-tlRQMRV4MX1Mt0wPbyuscD87n2lsIzO20vhjZrk9boiknKx88cBHfJNRkZkSr97Sef8MocFHxI2r3u5G7SdfO2nuxDI9D0bTxDhvkAWTtfC7tKfYrOSiHvNHC0/s1600/blog5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYa2fa1wgtxsQ_dGDs-tlRQMRV4MX1Mt0wPbyuscD87n2lsIzO20vhjZrk9boiknKx88cBHfJNRkZkSr97Sef8MocFHxI2r3u5G7SdfO2nuxDI9D0bTxDhvkAWTtfC7tKfYrOSiHvNHC0/s320/blog5.jpg" width="178" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Family Acceptance
Project research is not marketing based on focus groups. It is not speculation.
It is not opinion—even ecclesiastical opinion. It is science. By integrating
these materials into our spiritual curriculum and our vast social services
programs, we can give LGBT Mormons and their families a lifeline of hope that
has not existed before. We can step beyond the days where Mormon parents—many
armed with good intentions but alarmingly little data—feel compelled to choose
between their children and their church. Family relationships are a cornerstone
to our faith as Mormons—and we’re taught that “No other success can compensate
for failure in the home.” <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">David O. McKay</i><span class="testimony">. The Family Acceptance Project materials have eliminated the
illusion of that horrible Sophie’s Choice. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As a gay Mormon, and
someone for whom scouting was just as much a right of passage in my youth as my
church activities, this gives me hope for the generations that follow me. While
the BSA announcement isn’t perfect, the decision—and the Mormon Church’s
endorsement of it—opens the door to help keep our gay youth safer and happier
than ever before. If we make the most of this moment, we have a chance to build
a healthier generation of Mormons who are better equipped to follow God’s
second great commandment: to love one another—for who we genuinely are. </span></div>
Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-87142079741273216462013-05-24T08:49:00.000-07:002013-05-24T08:49:08.580-07:00Congratulations, BSA. Now let's keep going. <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">On
Thursday, May 23, Boy Scouts of America decided to <a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/05/23/us-usa-boyscouts-ban-vote-idUSBRE94M1A320130523">lift
a ban on openly gay scouts</a> that had been in place throughout the
organization’s 103-year history. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I'm
pleased that the BSA decided to approve the measure to lift the ban on gay
scouts. Like the steps the Mormon Church has taken in recent months, it is
encouraging to see movement in the right direction. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">One
of my favorite life lessons I learned from a fictional character, Atticus Finch
from "To Kill a Mockingbird." Atticus, you'll recall, was the white
attorney who represented black defendants in an Alabama murder trial. The lesson I learned
from Atticus Finch was that change happens incrementally. As much as we'd like
to believe humanity is wise and kind enough to right decades (and sometimes
centuries) of wrongdoing with a single grand event, it just doesn't happen that
way. While I believe humanity will always make progress, it will be progress in
spirals. Progress and change are a process--and with this victory we can
clearly see that the process has begun. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yet,
still embedded into Scouting policy and culture is the message that as a gay
youth, you might be okay when you're young, but rejection is imminent. And as
we now know, profound evidence-based research done by <a href="http://familyproject.sfsu.edu/publications">The Family Acceptance Project</a>
tells us rejection is the leading risk factor for LGBT youth when it comes to
health issues, including depression and suicide. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Moreover, because gay leaders would be
banned from working with youth, there is a message here confusing being gay
with pedophilia, and once again, science has borne out that those are two very
different things. It’s as if Boy Scouts of America believes that while we might
be marginally acceptable as youth, upon our 18<sup>th</sup> birthday a magical
switch is flipped transforming us from being part of the family of humanity and
into sexual predators.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So like Atticus Finch, let's recognize the
goodness here--that we are indeed moving in the right direction. But let's not
confuse taking a step in the right direction with completing the journey.</span>Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-28302992266841408442013-04-27T17:20:00.000-07:002013-04-27T17:20:32.149-07:00All Are Enlisted: The Mission of the LGBT Mormon<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Calibri;">All Are Enlisted: The Mission of the LGBT
Mormon</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Mitch Mayne</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">April 27, 2013</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Talk given in Phoenix, AZ</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://allarizona.org/" target="_blank">“All are alike unto God”</a>
Mormon/LGBT Conference</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Like pretty much everyone
in this room, I suspect, I learned early on how important missionary work was
to our church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember being told
time and time again, “Our greatest and most important duty is to preach the
gospel.” I recall hearing scriptural references as a child that reinforced how
critical this work was to us as Mormons: </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“If it so be that you should labor all
your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul
unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!”
(D&C 18:15). </span></i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And I remember, probably
like most of you, sitting in primary as a kid and singing this song:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I
hope they call me on a mission<br />
When I have grown a foot or two.<br />
I hope by then I will be ready<br />
To teach and preach and work as missionaries do.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But I have a confession to
make: I hoped they <i>didn’t </i>call me on a mission. I never really wanted to
go. I remember meeting missionaries as a kid, and I just couldn’t identify with
them—and I simply didn’t want to be one. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Even as a youth, sitting
in primary singing the song (often with fingers crossed behind my back), I
couldn’t relate with this ardent desire that everyone but me seemed to feel compelled
to fulfill. It wasn’t that I didn’t love the church—and most assuredly that I
didn’t love my Savior, for both of those things I surely did love. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Part of it, quite
honestly, was knowing at such an early age that I was different—that I was
gay—even though I lacked the vocabulary to be able to identify what made me
different than most of the little boys and young missionaries I’d met. But I
sensed it, and inside me a tiny voice whispered, “This is not for you. This
won’t make you happy.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc-sBZRb3k5O4AugUu_FKIlMttmQzmWZ7V9q7HRWYmgkZj7Ng_eeGzid1lSupulFIdOkZJrvjASAYDeVrmOxQNX2htPlXqnLEQrS4od22QKZkEVKslRuCO1PpkgKv7JhrK37eaMbx_Uks/s1600/mormon-missionary-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc-sBZRb3k5O4AugUu_FKIlMttmQzmWZ7V9q7HRWYmgkZj7Ng_eeGzid1lSupulFIdOkZJrvjASAYDeVrmOxQNX2htPlXqnLEQrS4od22QKZkEVKslRuCO1PpkgKv7JhrK37eaMbx_Uks/s1600/mormon-missionary-2.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And so, I chose to not go
on a mission as a youth, and it was the right decision for me. But, that didn’t
mean I was off the hook in terms of being an emissary for my Savior. In fact, I
believe now as a gay Mormon, that my mission (and the mission of every single
gay Mormon out there) is every bit as critical as that traditional 2 year
mission, for our mission is to serve many of those who, on the surface, already
appear committed to our Savior. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Let me tell you what I
mean by that. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">About two years ago, I
spoke at a conference in Washington,
DC, where I delivered a talk I
called “The Test.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In this talk, I spoke
about how we understand LGBT individuals through the lens of our faith today: </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Our premise today is that
homosexuality is an extra burden—an affliction, something that gays and
lesbians must suffer through and really, deny wholesale if we want to remain
righteous in the eyes of our church. We are the subject of an extra ‘test’ that
doesn’t seem to serve any known purpose. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But, I posited, what if
there’s another way to look at it. True, there is very likely a test wrapped up
in all of this, for there is undoubtedly a reason that some of us are gay and
lesbian, while others are not. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But what if the test,
really, is not being given <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">to</i> gays
and lesbians, but <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">through</i> gays and
lesbians? What if we are actually the vehicle through which the test is being
delivered? And the test, then, is not for us at all—but for our heterosexual
brothers and sisters? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That would mean, then,
that the test might really be this: Will you, straight brother or sister,
include us in your family of faith just as we are? Will you recognize us as
your peers, your equals? Will you move past what you think you already know
about what it means to be gay, open your mind and heart, and genuinely show
Christ-like love and compassion to a segment of society that, for whatever
reason, appears to be the least of these in this sphere? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Or, will you shun us? Will
you persecute us? Will you force us to choose between God and Gay, because that
is what makes you comfortable? Will you compel us to choose between the faith
we call home—and walking this earthly path with a companion we love? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This, I believe, is
probably far more likely the actual test enveloped inside the LGBT wrapper. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And how our straight
fellows perform on this test—the ones we’re here delivering—is largely
dependent on us. That is our mission as LGBT Mormons—to help our straight
fellows—especially those within the church—learn the meaning of genuine
compassion, inclusion, and Christlike love. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A good example of how this
works would be my own Mom. I’ve been pretty plain-spoken when it comes to
sharing the difficulties we both faced when I told her I was gay. It was a
rough time—she said some things that to this day, make my eyes tear up when I
repeat them. But what I came to learn about my Mom is that her words during
that time were not the words of a woman who hated her gay son. They were the
words of a mother who was terrified for her son—having gone her whole life
learning painful untruths about what it meant to be gay:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4QRFiMB-AH8uf4RGEdCTRgWcFoNjBtw-1HzcgsMLhSLmoIFQS9JTXA_BtLh-kooETxOGHwts2uhv6t3PG8aM7h0w2oEKcB-fuPOr7nTTISZJNysgqC2K3tTSXDeQNyeaBbQ72YcOtHLc/s1600/Corbis-42-26121317.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4QRFiMB-AH8uf4RGEdCTRgWcFoNjBtw-1HzcgsMLhSLmoIFQS9JTXA_BtLh-kooETxOGHwts2uhv6t3PG8aM7h0w2oEKcB-fuPOr7nTTISZJNysgqC2K3tTSXDeQNyeaBbQ72YcOtHLc/s320/Corbis-42-26121317.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Gay people have a
mental disorder, no matter what the American Psychiatric Association says.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“If your son comes out
as gay, he’ll probably die an early death and live and unhealthy and unhappy
life.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“God will not love your
son if he is gay.” </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My Mom had to unlearn each
of these—and so do many of our fellows within the Church. Granted, it took my
mom a long time to transform from a woman who was crippled by fear into the
powerful, amazing ally she became, but she did it. By and large, she did it
through honest questioning, willingness to look at things from a different
perspective, and questioning what she knew. Our Savior opened the door for her,
but she stepped through—and I was required to act as my Savior’s missionary and
greet her. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Before her death a few
years ago, she shared a story with me that outlined how she experienced her
mighty change of heart. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Her words: “Over time, my
son, I came to not only understand what it really meant to have a gay son, but
also recognized it for the gift that it was. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br />
“Years ago,” she said, “my best friend Adele discovered she had a brain tumor.
Her initial diagnosis was dire—but also, fortunately inaccurate. When I heard
about Adele’s choices for treatment, I felt that she should pursue specific
avenues she’d ruled out. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I grew increasingly
impatient with her choices until I read an article in a medical journal written
by someone I respect, suggesting the avenues I had been championing could do
more harm than good.”<br />
<br />
“That’s when I realized the limits of my own understanding. Not just when it
came to Adele, but when it came to you, as my gay son. In both cases, my sense
of urgency to push you both into care that could harm you stemmed not from
certainty, but from fear. I learned that my only honest course of action was to
turn my fear, my love, and each of you over to the care of your Savior—and to
love you both for who you were. I could no longer pretend to know what is
best.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br />
“I’m not a genius, a philosopher, or a wizard. Even if I were all three, I’d
still find myself looking off the edge of my own understanding into the vast
unknown. And when I recognize my limitations, I am more grateful than ever for
a Savior who is free from such restrictions."<br />
<br />
"I’m sorry our road was rough. I’m sorry I didn’t always see what a
wonderful blessing you are to me and to our family. Today, I am grateful to
have you as my gay son—and I love you.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Some may say that my Mom may
have eventually arrived in this same spot spiritually on her own—the same way
many who are converted by our missionary force may get to the place they need
to be on their own—and maybe that’s true. But I do believe her course was
accelerated by my willingness to be my Savior’s emissary, to allow her ask
questions, and to be slow to be offended when she didn’t make progress with the
speed and accuracy I wished she would. My Savior presented me with the perfect
missionary opportunity—someone who was genuinely willing not only to learn, but
to unlearn. He continues to present me with identical opportunities almost
every day. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And so it is with each of
you. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSUGx32vkNvxFgr5sz2VV0HDijCIxJ5YBT596b7f_qAVq8lG0EvywqUkK6WjmKcXgi-ilxrqIfOqxcJAtslTb9JFI8H-s84z5vc9NThRJifpZ1iBTnpK5Lf8-B9Nx9ZCuZbfaxG5Fi0c0/s1600/blog3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSUGx32vkNvxFgr5sz2VV0HDijCIxJ5YBT596b7f_qAVq8lG0EvywqUkK6WjmKcXgi-ilxrqIfOqxcJAtslTb9JFI8H-s84z5vc9NThRJifpZ1iBTnpK5Lf8-B9Nx9ZCuZbfaxG5Fi0c0/s320/blog3.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Among your circle of
friends and family stand those who, like my Mom, are willing to learn and
unlearn. Some of them don’t know the right questions to ask. Some are afraid of
offending and hurting your feelings. Others remain frightened what their other
friends would think of them if they began to understand what it means to be a
gay Mormon a little bit differently. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But they are there. And
our mission is to reach out to them. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Fortunately for us,
whether we know it or not—whether we leaped for joy when we sang, “I hope the
call me on a mission” or like me—cringed quietly in the corner, embedded within
us as Mormons is the basic DNA structure of being missionaries. And by and
large, the most powerful tool at our accord is how we live our lives and how we
treat others—especially those who don’t necessarily treat us very kindly. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now, that’s not to say
that any of us should maintain relationships with those things that are
unhealthy for us—whether that be family, friends, or institutions. We should
always put our own spiritual health, safety and sanity first—the same way we
counsel traditional missionaries to do. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Often, the healthiest
thing we can do as LGBT Mormons is create distance from those things which
further damage us, and rest assured I am quite confident our Savior would
support us in that. Regardless, we can still do it kindly and with a missionary’s
heart. After all, how we respond to someone’s lack of interest in our message
may be a better testimony to our Savior’s work here than any detailed account
we could offer. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As with any mission, we’ll
face challenges and trials. I remember when I was first called into my position
almost two years ago—a truly amazing volume of straight Mormons from around the
country came out to support me. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Among them were those who
warned me of the trials and challenges I’d face as an openly gay Mormon in a
priesthood leadership position. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">From one friend: “You must
be careful now, and on constant alert. Satan will try to tempt you, and you
will have men from all walks of life trying to tempt you sexually as you try to
fulfill your mission.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Wow, I thought. Is dating
as a gay Mormon really as simple as making yourself somewhat unattainable? I
doubted it was, and I was indeed correct. My life hasn’t changed dramatically.
I still go to the same gym, the same grocery store, and the same dry cleaners. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">No one has flung
themselves at my feet, nor has any brigade of handsome, shirtless firemen
arrived at my front door. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The tests and challenges
have come, however, and if you accept this mission call, they will for you, as
well. And I think hands-down the most difficult challenge we face as gay
Mormons and allies is <b>not </b>succumbing to anger, resentment, and
bitterness while we watch our fellows treat our LGBT brothers and sisters (and
often us) unkindly. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A wise friend once told
me, “Holding on to resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other
person to die.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And nowhere is that more
true than when it comes to the mission of LGBT Mormons. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Once upon a time, I felt
it was not in my capacity to forgive. As much as forgiving those who hurt
</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2OYTHaE8iPSBLvvrHP3LJiIcL0ukSoq_w1kDLzMVNryYThUhUaSqiXc7BBtt6OEQIUSZxOZtZl1bSp_CLIMwHa0Lpr5Nrys3e_6WlBffQfoUP-M0RHGsq5dal_rxmITSGiSq60Kg0oC8/s1600/blog4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2OYTHaE8iPSBLvvrHP3LJiIcL0ukSoq_w1kDLzMVNryYThUhUaSqiXc7BBtt6OEQIUSZxOZtZl1bSp_CLIMwHa0Lpr5Nrys3e_6WlBffQfoUP-M0RHGsq5dal_rxmITSGiSq60Kg0oC8/s320/blog4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
me—inside my church and my own family—seemed like the right thing to do, my
good intentions couldn’t take away the pain or allow me to forget what some of
my fellows had said or done. I equated forgiveness with accepting unacceptable
behavior, and so I held on to my resentments and allowed my self to be a victim
to them over and over again. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Over time, I’ve learned a
new way to maintain my spiritual center around people who don’t understand
things the same way I do. Now I know I can simply walk away from a verbally
offensive situation, independent of the title or role the other person plays in
my life. I can tell someone I feel angry or uncomfortable with their behavior
and say what I mean, without being mean when I say it. In fact, I find the more
I stand up for myself in healthy ways, the more willing I am to forgive others
and let go of my resentments. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The same is true for each
of you. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Often, you may find that
once you begin to discuss your anger or hurt with the other person, a door
opens—that missionary door—and a real, meaningful conversation can begin. And
if you both decide to talk about how to avoid repeating the same situation,
you’ll often become closer in the process. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In other cases, like me,
you’ll find that your resentments are based on persistent patterns of behavior
you’re not willing to subject yourself to. And that’s okay, too. In these
cases, I forgive the other person because that is what I need to do to keep my
own spiritual center. But I don’t continue to accept unacceptable behavior. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sometimes forgiving
includes letting go of a harmful relationship and moving on—and for every
missionary, this is a perfectly acceptable thing to do. But when we forgive
before we leave, we can walk away feeling clean, with no negative ties
preventing us from continuing our own journeys toward health and wholeness, and
be better equipped to serve our Savior as one of his LGBT missionaries. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In essence, we must live
the counsel of Ghandi, and “be the change we want to see in the world.” When
someone snarls at us—it’s easy to snarl back. But the higher road is purer, and
certainly more successful. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Those who snarl at us feel
threatened and full of fear—their whole worldview might be about to change, and
that is scary and difficult for the best of us. But regardless of the
individual or institution that snarls our way, compassion is always the key
that unlocks their hearts. And we, as our Savior’s missionaries, have that key.
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Brothers and sisters, it
is imperative we shed any semblance of bitterness and anger toward our fellows,
and toward our church—for our own sanity, and for the sake of the divine work
we have been sent here to do. We are no one’s victim—unless we choose to be. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’d like to close with the
same song lyrics I opened today’s talk with. I enlisted the aid of my friend
Carol Lynn Pearson to change these to better suit what I believe (and hopefully
you, too) to be our mission as gay Mormons.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The
Lord has called us on a mission,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">To
our peers, His gospel we will preach</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That
we’re all his beloved sons and daughters</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And
not a single heart is far beyond His reach. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRunE-NV1eYiUAbAdvAuUCIN-7QpClDbDT3ArcC6YilPejAbyzsxPPBtzPRlJhJQeN_85j4Zr626pewDYYIInSQe6YlEqhDYBITG5_FERZxtqtreZRw_epAwaczVNBCj1T6T9AoJler4s/s1600/missionary-training-center-walk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRunE-NV1eYiUAbAdvAuUCIN-7QpClDbDT3ArcC6YilPejAbyzsxPPBtzPRlJhJQeN_85j4Zr626pewDYYIInSQe6YlEqhDYBITG5_FERZxtqtreZRw_epAwaczVNBCj1T6T9AoJler4s/s320/missionary-training-center-walk.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sisters and brothers, I
wish to share my testimony with you that our Savior loves us, exactly as we
are. We don’t have to change who we are to earn that love, despite what some
might think—it is ours, freely given, if we will just reach out and accept it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I also have great faith in
this work he’s laid out before us. It’s as if I’m seeing the realization of
something Marlin Jensen said in a meeting a few years ago, pertaining to gay
Mormons: “Sometimes I wonder if you’re not all simply God’s special spirits we
haven’t figured out what to do with yet.” I didn’t know what he meant then, but
I think I do now. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We are exactly where we’re
supposed to be, and we’re exactly who we’re supposed to be. There is a plan for
us here—and most assuredly there is a plan for us in the next realm, as
glorious and soul-stretching as the one for our straight fellows. Just because
our fellow humans haven’t figured it out yet, doesn’t mean our Savior hasn’t
known all along. </span></div>
Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-79625906833555588822013-03-11T08:51:00.000-07:002013-03-11T08:51:29.524-07:00"You can't sit with us!" Mean Girls, Mormons, and the Message of our Savior<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b>"You can't sit with us!"</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><i>Mean Girls, Mormons, and the Message of our Savior</i> </b> </span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A talk I delivered to the Bay Ward on Sunday, March 10, 2013. Enjoy. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">*** </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Eighteen months ago, when
Bishop Fletcher first asked me to serve in this calling, I told him one of the
side benefits he’d get from having me as his executive secretary was a cache of
bizarre information based on my rather embarrassing obsession with pop culture.
He looked at me with his ever-present smile, and simply said, “Great!” And I’m
sure he didn’t really expect for me actually find use for my mindless fixation
in spiritual matters, but I do believe inspiration often comes to us through
the most unlikely sources—and so it is with my talk today.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">One of my guilty pleasures
is the movie, “Mean Girls.” If you haven’t seen it, I’ll sum it up for you. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s the story of a group
of beautiful, popular high school girls, and how they go about stepping on one
another and their fellows to reach higher and higher levels of admiration
within their high school circle. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In one of the scenes, four
of the girls are gathered for lunch—three of them very well dressed and well
groomed. The fourth, however, is wearing sweats. Apparently to be in the “Mean
Girls” click, you can only wear sweats on Thursday—but this was a Monday. As
the girl in sweats—Regina George—sat down, one of the other girls pointed out
to her that according to the rules, if you wore sweats on any day other than
Thursday, you weren’t allowed to sit at the popular table. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Regina</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">’s reply was full of shame. Her eyes cast downward,
she said meekly, “I’ve put on weight…sweats are the only thing that fits me
right now.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“You can’t sit with us!” hissed
one of the girls angrily—unified with the other two, and indicating that there
was no room at the popular table for Regina
that day. And with that, Regina
quietly picked up her tray and left to sit alone. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now, even though Regina was the meanest of the “Mean Girls,” I don’t think
there’s a human out there that wouldn’t feel a little pinch of pain watching Regina be cast out from
amongst a group of girls who were supposed to be her friends. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So how does this pop-culture
reference apply to us as Mormons? Well, as Mormons, we believe ourselves to be
disciples to our Savior, and emissaries of His unconditional love for all our
brothers and sisters. Yet, we’re also very human—and sometimes, we end up being
a little bit like the character in “Mean Girls,” and subtly (and sometimes not
so subtly) telling others, “You can’t sit with us!” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ll confess right here—I think
of myself in this context. I like to think of myself as a pretty enlightened
guy—growing up as a gay Mormon, from a divorced family with an active alcoholic
parent in a small town in Idaho
taught me a lot about what it means to feel like I’m on the outside looking in.
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBz30Ul2BSoWlE6UAW0J5nCwQzH_K5ezsLptekyPEjcL6bN62SvxAaweKadwdWUr2gIbCJW-v2FtSijd2P3iE-rBmSzjKSz8_734PJzo75Mp-OvB_6mu62zi__aqN0i6pMJsOIRu_uqTU/s1600/MG3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBz30Ul2BSoWlE6UAW0J5nCwQzH_K5ezsLptekyPEjcL6bN62SvxAaweKadwdWUr2gIbCJW-v2FtSijd2P3iE-rBmSzjKSz8_734PJzo75Mp-OvB_6mu62zi__aqN0i6pMJsOIRu_uqTU/s320/MG3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yet, in my weakest and
most human moments, I can find myself turning into one of the "Mean Girls"—being
quick to condemn someone who’s different, and slow to show them the kind of
love and inclusion my Savior would. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And sometimes I find
myself justifying my own bad behavior—and there are two words I hear myself say
that often signal I am doing just that. Those words are, “Yes, but.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Yes, but…she doesn’t obey
the word of wisdom.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Yes, but…he’s not married.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Yes but…he doesn’t have a
temple recommendation.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Yes, but…she’s wearing sweats
on Monday.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What we’re actually doing
when we use words like “Yes, but” to justify our own bad behavior, is
essentially adding an asterisk to our Savior’s command to love one another.
That commandment was pretty simple, and pretty clear. It didn’t say “Love only
the people who have the same color skin as you,” or “Love only the people who
have the same political leanings,” or “Love only the people whose behavior,
clothes, or orientation you approve of.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What it says is simply,
“Love everyone.” Even the ones who look different from us, speak differently,
whose skin is another shade, or whose political philosophies may be different
than our own. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Each Sunday, I sit among
you and renew my baptismal covenants—to take upon myself the name of my Savior,
and in so doing, agree to lift those around me, support them, and be kind to
them—to love them unconditionally. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijpuRHs508GuQoG72HD5wXtpcEIEnlnh_hwC-m6UEsYDoPNhuX4KGukD7J6gmKeowDOSHvA5H9g8AGew_vks1l3pHhKZ7ccqgBmSkAc90Bw9EDrLZzjfNOLKGPGtbJ3cmN0gHNG7Wkc0w/s1600/MG4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijpuRHs508GuQoG72HD5wXtpcEIEnlnh_hwC-m6UEsYDoPNhuX4KGukD7J6gmKeowDOSHvA5H9g8AGew_vks1l3pHhKZ7ccqgBmSkAc90Bw9EDrLZzjfNOLKGPGtbJ3cmN0gHNG7Wkc0w/s320/MG4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I find myself
inclined to tell someone, “You can’t sit with us,” it helps to remember the
words of those covenants I renew each week. And it helps to remember how
patient, kind, and long-suffering my Savior is with me. In my quietest moments
alone with my Savior, I have come to understand just a little about how much he
loves me—and He is, without question, my very best friend. He doesn’t reject me
because of my ignorance, or condemn me for my limitations and shortcomings. He
doesn’t make me leave the lunch table because I’m wearing sweats on the wrong
day. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Instead he stands ever
ready to forgive me, urge me on to higher standards of moral and ethical
behavior, and be patient with me as I struggle to reach them. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">For each of us, we should
try to accept others as our Savior accepts us: For who we are, and where we
are. His grace on our behalf is always beyond our deserving. As Paul said to
the Romans, “God’s act of grace is out of all proportion to Adam’s wrongdoing…
Where sin was multiplied through us, His grace immeasurably exceeded it.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Each of us is on a
continuum of eternal progression, and our Savior is present with every single
one of us at every single level. The truth of the matter is, no matter how enlightened
or Christlike we’d like to think we are, none of us ever acts in complete consistency
with unconditional love. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">With our families,
business associates, or even when we’re stuck in traffic we may have moments
where we slip. On the other hand, each of us also has our shining instances
when we’re at our best—stretching ourselves beyond our own capacity to show a
brand of kindness and love that would please our Lord. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thus, we need to make sure
we’re as patient, kind, and loving toward one another—that we love one another
with no asterisk—just as our Savior loves us. And we need to be open to what we
can learn from our fellow mortals here, whose spiritual development is as
uneven as our own. We’d be wise to keep in mind the words of Emerson as we do
so: “I have never met a fellow who was not my superior in some particular.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Brothers and sisters, let
us show the world Mormonism at its best. To those who do not know better, ours
is a curious—if not strange—faith at best. In the minds of the uninformed,
well-groomed missionaries, Big Love, and polygamy is almost all they know about
us. We know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of suspicion and prejudice,
what it’s like to be alienated from our fellows, and what it’s like to be told,
“You can’t sit with us.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQj0KTcCLYdukW4DxJQ8GqS6Qlg7YMgG3OvxnhT1Bi8FsWq4BHvA9cEyyPp8SvJvWlvte_hxkWcmm_XS4mzIWXxC5vzqe5jYT06tlQjdfnB8QkKPSBRYhsEKUEAEtQD6m2oHr56ci_AM4/s1600/MG5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQj0KTcCLYdukW4DxJQ8GqS6Qlg7YMgG3OvxnhT1Bi8FsWq4BHvA9cEyyPp8SvJvWlvte_hxkWcmm_XS4mzIWXxC5vzqe5jYT06tlQjdfnB8QkKPSBRYhsEKUEAEtQD6m2oHr56ci_AM4/s320/MG5.jpg" width="220" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And precisely because we
know how this feels, we have an extra obligation to ensure we are not the cause
of others feeling that way—and an extra responsibility to ensure that we are
never on the wrong side of our covenants, adding our own asterisk to our
Savior’s commandment to Love One Another. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I want to close with my
meditation from this morning—and hope you’ll join me in trying to live the
spirit embodied in this small passage. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Today, I will practice
unconditional love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First I will be kind
and loving to myself, but I will not stop there. I will extend this same
unconditional love to others. I am one among my fellows. And when I offer
unconditional love, it always returns to me—multiplied. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I leave these things with
you in the name of my champion, my friend, and my Savior, Jesus Christ.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Amen. </span></div>
Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-60869820387518751782013-02-28T09:40:00.000-08:002013-02-28T09:40:09.583-08:00No More Strangers: LGBT Mormon Forum <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM3eiMfyIzJmoX13NNWy-BQKi7hYFc8xgrTWZWJjbk5DFGTm75oSX7gCqdZnCEZqPYBEQlBz-Ys5Djgv3vPjBt64hgCqFn448BWWVBg7Jvd7nqTyyUTpzR38lMVJIK2WPNSlWpKxb36eI/s1600/cropped-NMS_Header2b-hr.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="110" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM3eiMfyIzJmoX13NNWy-BQKi7hYFc8xgrTWZWJjbk5DFGTm75oSX7gCqdZnCEZqPYBEQlBz-Ys5Djgv3vPjBt64hgCqFn448BWWVBg7Jvd7nqTyyUTpzR38lMVJIK2WPNSlWpKxb36eI/s400/cropped-NMS_Header2b-hr.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A few weeks back, we
launched <a href="http://www.nomorestrangers.org/" target="_blank">No More Strangers</a>—an online forum focused on LGBT issues inside the
Mormon faith. The contributing authors to this blog are both well-known and informed
emerging voices that help us understand more deeply the issues surrounding what
it means to be a gay Mormon or an ally. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Each of us is in different places in terms
of our relationship with the LDS
Church. Some of us
are active in the Church and fiercely committed to our testimony and to the
Gospel. Some of us wrestle with doubt and/or faith. Some are firmly
post-Mormon, though concerned about the state of affairs in LGBT
Mormondom. We bring with us expertise as teachers, scientists, writers,
coaches, therapists, activists, theologians, and thinkers.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We seek to address a range of topics, in
diverse voices and styles. Some of us bring an edgier, more political
perspective to the table. Others rely on laughter to dispel demons. Some
of us love digging into the scriptures and bringing theological reflection to
real-life struggles. Others bring a more devotional, more spiritually connected
perspective.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We will reflect on the LGBT Mormon
experience, but we will also examine larger questions in our Church and society
from our unique perspectives, bringing our faith and our wrestling with issues
related to sexuality and gender identity to our reflections on current events
and the human condition. We hope to challenge ourselves and our readers.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And I think I love this part of our
mission the best: Our one overarching commitment is that whatever we are or
ever were to one another, the one thing we are no more and will never more be
is strangers.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Some of the authors include:</span><br />
<div style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Berta
Marquez</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Carol
Lynn Pearson</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">John
Dehlin</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Erika
Munson</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">John
Gustav-Wrathall</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Morris
Thurston</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bob
Rees</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bill
Bradshaw</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hollie
Hancock</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Scott
Holley </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Tom
and Wendy Montgomery</span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bookmark the <a href="http://www.nomorestrangers.org/" target="_blank">No More Strangers</a> forum—and join
us today. </span>Mitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.com0