tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post3806956843113749894..comments2023-06-26T07:03:26.219-07:00Comments on I am Mitch Mayne. I am an openly gay, active Latter-day Saint.: Coming Out as an LDS Parent of a Gay ChildMitch Maynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-19625823475802500582016-04-05T14:23:41.234-07:002016-04-05T14:23:41.234-07:00Thank you for this. Acceptance is part of the key....Thank you for this. Acceptance is part of the key. My son is not sure of his sexuality, and I gone so far as to explain asexuality to him. Regardless, he is my son and I love him no matter what. I don't discuss whether it is a choice or not, just that the acting on his feelings is a choice. I choose who to marry, who to sleep with, and many other things; he did not choose. And though it has been a long road for me, because of events that occurred to me, I have learned much because of him and others like you. Again, thank you for this as it helps me understand the love my Heavenly Father has for me and my son.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10652046926445104736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-66089462250943371742015-11-06T20:11:42.963-08:002015-11-06T20:11:42.963-08:00There's a couple of points I'd like to mak...There's a couple of points I'd like to make. First of all, being gay, lesbian, trans, bi, and whatever else may come along the way is not a new facett in life. These types of lifestyles were prevalent in biblical times. For whatever reasons, I say society in the latter-days, has made these lifestyles socially acceptable. I believe this is why a majority of not only LDS but other individuals in other faiths, struggle with acceptance within "the faith". There are no exceptions when it comes to sexual orientation, marriage is between man and woman. I think this article is excellent, as the son perseveres through the trials in his life to remain faithful to the end. I can certainly understand explaining the human brain and science, ect. as to the being gay is not a choice. The underlying message is the choice to not act upon it. Me, like many others, have probably wondered why there is not much more direction and guidance from the church on this topic. I came to this conclusion. No matter a child of God's trials and tribulations, we must continue to hold fast to the iron rod, ignore the naysayers and "great and spacious building" and do all we can to live righteously to return to our Heavenly Father. I think to compare this gay issue as different and more of a struggle than any other issue is wrong. This is where the world jumps in, and even an uprising of disapproving LDS members will say, that because they are gay and cannot help it, we are wrong to make them not be able to be in a relationship. Some people are addicted to sex, and can have exteme ramifications if acted upon outside the bonds of marriage, even pornography. There are members that struggle with drug and alcohol abuse. Studies have shown/proven that some are predisposed to drug and alcohol addiction. There are soool many disabilities out there. There are high functioning autistic and or down syndrome individuals who habe the capacity to love...may want to be in a relationship, but cannot. The list could go and on. Everyone endures their own kind of struggle and trials in life. Bear in mind the Lord has said that He will never give us more than we can handle. We may not know all the "why me" answers, but we have our scriptures, prayer, and Prophet who leads and guides this church. None of the principles of the church have changed. Neither has the commandment Love One Another. I find it unusual that there seems to be an influx of, almost a crusade, to join in with the world...yes, address with your bishop what is going on just like you would on any other issue...you will be guided. Christ's church is perfect. The people are not. Pregnant teens can be shunned and scoffed at. As no different with gays. Or just anyone offending another for whatever reason.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10337546205952885209noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-18808238722488582152015-10-09T12:03:10.785-07:002015-10-09T12:03:10.785-07:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Drewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11976371743465765357noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-71913530029340094002015-10-09T10:22:25.074-07:002015-10-09T10:22:25.074-07:00If you'd like email me directly (mtichmayne@gm...If you'd like email me directly (mtichmayne@gmail.com) and I'll see how I can help. Mitch Maynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-84652484404623109762015-10-09T09:50:36.221-07:002015-10-09T09:50:36.221-07:00I am struggling with this issue and have for a lon...I am struggling with this issue and have for a long time. I have not been active in the church for the last few years. I want to become active in the church again but i do not want to give up the man I love. He has been there for me when no els has helped me over come my battle with PTSD. I truly love him with all my heart and want to be married to him. I feel very conflicted about what to do i prayed and know the church is true. I prayed and ask god if its wrong for loving this man i don't feel that it is. Anyhow i could use some advice in to easing my way back in to the church.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09852161030650116232noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-18460489948978651952015-05-16T00:20:10.275-07:002015-05-16T00:20:10.275-07:00thank you very much for addressing this issue I fe...thank you very much for addressing this issue I feel that this is something that the church needs to deal with so I am strictly heterosexual I do feel as it was never the Lords intention discriminate against the gay and lesbian population.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02143149918733433379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-72751062803349553842014-04-19T19:56:28.670-07:002014-04-19T19:56:28.670-07:00Thank you for your openness and honesty. I am glad...Thank you for your openness and honesty. I am glad you were able to be understanding, and a means to help many others who struggle.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02721313806321604760noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-54817450024275810912014-04-07T20:15:30.748-07:002014-04-07T20:15:30.748-07:00Thank you. This topic has been on my mind a ton. ...Thank you. This topic has been on my mind a ton. Especially in how it might be for one of our youth, whom I work with, to be gay, but not out, and no body ever talking about it unless it is to condemn is as a sin. I'm going to do something about it, I just need to decide what. Your article helps. Thank you.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05460422963493104218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-56401042416994056732014-04-06T07:48:49.632-07:002014-04-06T07:48:49.632-07:00Thanks for the post and the learning, insight and ...Thanks for the post and the learning, insight and charity that helped my understanding as well. May your family continue to grow in loveRick Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13012759834108786897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-31690751050167077322014-04-06T07:47:10.243-07:002014-04-06T07:47:10.243-07:00Your experience, reaction and charity brought me l...Your experience, reaction and charity brought me learning and greater understanding. thank youRick Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13012759834108786897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-78431707612763699862014-04-05T21:43:22.102-07:002014-04-05T21:43:22.102-07:00It is a very difficult but admirable situation for...It is a very difficult but admirable situation for the support they have given to his son, the love of family is essential in situations like this.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06145400108755102523noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-91931371131276378162014-04-04T22:12:35.904-07:002014-04-04T22:12:35.904-07:00I have totally changed my views on this topic beca...I have totally changed my views on this topic because of my son who is gay. He is one of the most perfect humans I have ever known. He is full of love and has been all of his life. He was 10000% active in the LDS church and planned on serving a mission and would have been a AP Missionary and grown up to serve in high level leadership in the Church. He fought his orientation all of his life (like most LDS kids) and knew that if he read his scriptures...prayed...attended seminary...served a mission...got married in the Temple...he would be "healed" of this curse. He would fast every month...write in his journal...and was/is truly one of the most spiritual people who loves God with all of his heart, mind and strength. So...if he could choose differently he would a long time ago. But he could not deny his orientation and even after praying about it and asking sincerely he feels it is who he is and he has embraced that fact. He still loves God and his relationship with God has not changed. But his relationship with the Church has. Although he still has good friends, he is not active in the Church anymore and has worked through the fear-based ramifications of that and is a very well -adjusted happy man. Good luck to you all working through this tough issue. Please deal only with unconditional love. We've lost too many to suicide needlessly.Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11189942594745649426noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-11650778549857768522014-04-03T23:42:22.406-07:002014-04-03T23:42:22.406-07:00What a great post Bryce, thank you. I think the Lo...What a great post Bryce, thank you. I think the Lord will do anything needed to change our hearts, even in the ways we didn't know they needed changing. We as a church are still very stiff necked and.....well, we mirror the Jews pretty much. I include myself in there as well. It just is what is. The scriptures were written for us about us to show us us. I will though that labels are to be used to communicate but not identified with. Someone was saying how gay children feel rejected when their orientation isn't recognized- with a label I presume, I would say the same about a fat person who's parent denies they are fat. But it is the child identifying with their condition that causes this- the parents denial never helps though- I feel. We are all more alike than different, let's focus on that, not to live in denial about differences though. A gay person that lives a woe is me life is not worse off than someone who isn't and lives a woe is me life. Pain will come, suffering is optional. I personally believe same sex tenancies have been put on some of use to teach us a lesson, both those with the tenancies and those without. I have a paper on my bedroom wall that reads "Did I Learn To Love" in bold lettering to remind me a large portion of what this life is about. A gay person can struggle with love and acceptance just the same as everyone else. I don't believe in victims, I believe in lessons. Everyone struggles to love and accept. I do believe though that there is a strong message from above that is sent to us via all the "different" people of this earth. Truth is, we all have our weird differences but will we love and accept anyways? We can all be challenges for one another. Will we love and accept anyways. I will fully admit though that I am still ignorant and don't know the why of all things, even regarding this topic. But I do know that I am being called to love and accept so that I can become more like my Father. The details aren't to be stumbled on. It is Christ's church, it is Christ's world, leave the details up to him and love and accept as we gain understanding.<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08045144803874460758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-43184069545327446612014-04-03T09:30:52.814-07:002014-04-03T09:30:52.814-07:00I really like what you said but i disagree with on...I really like what you said but i disagree with one thing. I have a sister that is mentally handicapped, to say she lacks the mental/emotional capacity to desire a companion is narrow minded. She has strong desires for companionship and would love to be in a relationship. Is she capable of having a normal relationship as most of us have the opportunity to experience, no. Unless she finds a companion that has a lot of patience and would be willing to overlook some of her short comings due to her mental handicap. I do full heartedly agree that the faithful gays of this religion suffer a great burden and i would not even wish this burden on my worst of enemies. I pray for them that they will have all the strength that they need to overcome any temptation that might keep them from living with our Heavenly Father.Michelle Bellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17199205444885339268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-69457552500063692442014-04-02T11:04:13.467-07:002014-04-02T11:04:13.467-07:00Thank you for sharing a piece of your heart.
I my...Thank you for sharing a piece of your heart. <br />I myself have been the subject of much ridicule and prejudice's for different reason. Mainly because I am Native american AND LDS in a community that is VERY vocal in the way they treat First nations both in and out of the church. <br />I served my mission in the south where, yeah these attitudes still exist. <br />However, until recently I kind of just hid my head under a rock and pleaded with Father in Heaven to help me remain strong and steadfast in my testimony and my faith. Oft times it has been a VERY long lonely road. <br />Things became a little more REAL for me...if you will when my baby brother came out of the closet. Even before he did people would often joke and ask what I would do if/when he came out of the closet, what would be my reaction. As it has been, I will ALWAYS love my brother no matter what he chose to do with his life. <br />However on the flip side of a loving family, we have all gone through the heartache of addictions, abuse and whatever else the adversary could stand to throw at us. <br />In and out of foster care. moving from town to town and family to family. <br />Thankfully my little brother came years after all was said and done. <br />Thinking that he was in the clear and did not have to endure such struggles, as my parents loved him and quite frankly, spoiled him rotten, my dear sweet baby brother still had to endure the pains of this harsh world and was subjected to abuse and introduced to a world of drugs and alcohal at a VERY young age. <br />Now I could speculate as do alot of people that he is gay because he was abuse as a child. However, like you pointed out, we will never REALLY understand where this same gender attractions comes from. <br />The reason I am responding is a hope that yes we do open our eyes, our hearts and minds to those in need. Whether it be for this issue or other issues. Like abuse, race, or what ever obstacle keeps us from truly feeling the unconditional love we are required to have for our brothers and sisters. <br />My parents STILL have a hard time understanding and accepting my brother for who he is. <br />Just recently my brother found himself literally living on the streets of Vancouver, selling himself on these same streets to feed the addictions in order to free himself of the shame and guilt of being accepted for who is REALLY is. Never in a million years would I have thought someone in my family, especially my little brother, would have to endure such horrible circumstances. <br />My hope is that my folks...mainly my dad would open his heart and mind to information such as this. <br />We are now on a LONG road to recovery. I hope you continue to do your work you were called to do. That is to spread these words of love, encouragement and understanding to a people who mean well but are "Blinded by the subtle, cunning, craftiness of men". <br />Thank you again for sharing your story. <br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11796662055231985491noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-49514453001464425882014-04-01T21:22:56.773-07:002014-04-01T21:22:56.773-07:00With respect to the paragraphs describing the &quo...With respect to the paragraphs describing the "sacrifices" gay LDS members make, i. e. not allowed to act on their attractions, fall in love, or marry the one they love, where exactly is the "Christ-like love and acceptance" so many of you speak of? Sunnysidehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18018758003963411062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-78656080645427857242014-04-01T21:17:59.555-07:002014-04-01T21:17:59.555-07:00Taking the above 2 paragraphs regarding the "...Taking the above 2 paragraphs regarding the "sacrifice" gay members make, i. e. not being able to fall in love, marry etc., where exactly is the Christ-like love and acceptance that is spoken of? Sunnysidehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18018758003963411062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-50685639682403736512014-04-01T18:44:02.674-07:002014-04-01T18:44:02.674-07:00Thanks for your comments Chris, Stacy and Mindy. I...Thanks for your comments Chris, Stacy and Mindy. I've found as I have gotten older that life isn't nearly as black and white as I used to think when I was young. Certainly, the greatest answer is always love and kindness.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05238214195837442916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-90067771365820327052014-04-01T18:39:24.892-07:002014-04-01T18:39:24.892-07:00Thanks, Helen. I've heard some people make the...Thanks, Helen. I've heard some people make the comment that perhaps the greater test is faced by straight people and how they respond to LGBT people. Of course that doesn't minimize the many challenges that our LGBT brothers and sisters face growing up in our faith. If we as a church were more understanding and empathetic, our LGBT members wouldn't have to face as much hardship.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05238214195837442916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-65159101799208585192014-04-01T17:26:46.393-07:002014-04-01T17:26:46.393-07:00Thank you for being so open and honest. I admire y...Thank you for being so open and honest. I admire your bravery. I have been struggling with same sex attraction myself. It is hard for me because I also know that I so badly want to have a relationship with a loving husband, and the ability to raise a family in the gospel. I've been feeling really down and depressed lately, and I thank you for sharing. It helped.Leonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02187732265669015107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-77594833189748626942014-04-01T17:23:28.743-07:002014-04-01T17:23:28.743-07:00I want you to know that I appreciated reading your...I want you to know that I appreciated reading your words of your acceptance of your son!<br /><br />I struggled for years to come to terms with my same sex attraction. I finally did come to terms with it and accepted it, and I am no longer a member of the church. The hardest part for me was the fact that so many members, so many friends, no longer wanted to associate with me and be friends with me. It hurt that they didn't understand that my love for the Lord had not changed, that I still beloved that The Book of Mormon was another testament of Jesus Christ, that I did not regret a moment of the mission that I served for the church. I am still the same person I always was.<br /><br />I admire your sons strength and resolve to live a temple worthy life and remain a faithful member of the church! I myself do not have that immense strength. I know that Heavenly Father is proud of him and also of you for your understanding and acceptance of your son!Sula https://www.blogger.com/profile/04716320506135364237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-54220570416059079312014-04-01T16:38:55.984-07:002014-04-01T16:38:55.984-07:00It is too bad Trevor has been condemned to a life ...It is too bad Trevor has been condemned to a life of celibacy and loneliness by the same God who he and others claim loves his children. It seems to me that if God's plan were really about families, that he wouldn't make so many of his children incapable of marrying and having children. <br />Michael Bluthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11240418102916062789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-77508056247378091862014-04-01T09:21:41.476-07:002014-04-01T09:21:41.476-07:00Excellent article. I have been blessed to know and...Excellent article. I have been blessed to know and love several LBGT members of the church and have been pondering many of these things in my heart. I agree that it isn't a choice. The hours of praying, fasting, pleading with God to please miraculously make them heterosexual, to help them fit the mold they know they should fit, to please take this away have definitely proved to me that it isn't something that was ever chosen. It just was something that was. <br /><br />I don't have any answers. I don't have any predictions for what the future will bring for LGBT members of the church. All I have is love. All I have is an open seat at church next to me and an open heart that says, "Come sit by me. Let us be friends." Mindy Kochhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07615473928942894899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-58731471446711292092014-04-01T09:11:37.187-07:002014-04-01T09:11:37.187-07:00Chanel, email me directly at mitchmayne@gmail.com....Chanel, email me directly at mitchmayne@gmail.com. I think there's a lot more going on here than sexual orientation. Mitch Maynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01581529961840637683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5835564038959249094.post-34922667476174393212014-04-01T08:46:07.821-07:002014-04-01T08:46:07.821-07:00My son and I were just having a conversation about...My son and I were just having a conversation about this the other day. He has a hard time with things that aren't black and white. I am going to share this post with him to help explain and expand his understanding. Thank you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06943562004960897860noreply@blogger.com